explain to me why i should not move in with an SO of 2 mo's

[anonymousdemocrat]

there's a free room in the house...

i get along great with the other roommate. we all have great parties together...

BUT...would i be ruining a great friendship/relationship?

have never lived w/an SO before

thanks,

a.d.

[michaelzef]

1. wait

till your married. it's the right thing to do.

[anonymousdemocrat]

2. really?

what if the marriage i'm seeking is illegal?

....

:D

[michaelzef]

5. LOL

good point

[baldguy]

18. Move to Massachusetts

Seriously, 2 months is too soon. You don't even know them yet. Give it AT LEAST 6 months - better, make it a year.

[onebigbadwulf]

3. Worst idea EVER. My top 10 reasons...

1. you have no escape (especially if you have a fight)

2. you get sick of eachother knowing you HAVE to be around them all the time

3. you get into the comfortable shoe where the relationship loses its romance, excitement, and unpredictability

4. breaking up means someone has to move and go through changing names on legal documents etc

5. greater chance of having a baby and ruining your life (assuming heterosexual)

6. you lose your power in the relationship because its not your place

7. not as much sex

8. pressure builds more and more to get married

9. if you need a roommate for financial reasons get a roommate you're not F-ing

10. bills will NOT be evenly distributed no matter how much you think they will be

[anonymousdemocrat]

4. i guess you're right

it's tempting, only because i spend so much time there already, and it's a truly beautiful house, in a great location...

thanks for your advice. i'm convinced....

a.d.

[jukes]

6. don't listen

to good advice! get your most hideous mistakes out of the way, then you can coast in monotonous solitude when you're old & bitter!

[anonymousdemocrat]

8. you're funny

no, i'm trying to avoid hideous mistakes... they hurt

:scared:

[jukes]

11. 'strue

but i keep making them over & over, nonetheless...

@ least i'm not pavlovian.

[samplegirl]

7. omg................way to soon

you never really know someone they say till you move in with them.
Good way to ruin this otherwise growing relationship.

[anonymousdemocrat]

14. great advice

don't mind me, i'm just being young and impulsive..

it probably won't happen, thanks in part to you good DUers w/my best interests in mind...

[radwriter0555]

9. Hmm.. no love involved? just parties?

sounds like the basis for a long, lasting and wholesome relationship.

[anonymousdemocrat]

10. love makes for good parties, didn't you know?

& I wouldn't call someone an SO *unless* I loved 'em dearly...

[jukes]

12. *MUCH*

better parties than hatred!

[anonymousdemocrat]

13. yes, i try to avoid "hate parties!"

For some reason, me and the KKK just DON'T get along too well...

:shrug:

:D

[jukes]

15. it's all that

burning & lynching, 'sall such a buzzkill.

still think you shd go for it, though. elope, let the lawyers sort it out later. wasamatter, are you scared of commitment?

[short bus president]

16. my friend, you must be me from about 14 months ago

I met dolo amber here in the Lounge a year ago last August. A year ago last month I rented a U-haul and picked up dolo and her two wonderful daughters to come live with me here. About 7 or 8 months ago I slipped an engagement ring over her finger and knew I'd finally found true love.

On Wednesday she packed the kids and as much stuff as they could haul into the car and left. I haven't posted anything about it here, because it would be unfair to her. I don't think she's back online yet, and we didn't have the foresight to do what hedges and eyesroll did to smooth things over here in our common stomping ground before the separation.

Anyway, I'll keep this post as brief as I can. It's been days since I've heard from dolo amber now, and I remain pretty much inconsolably heartbroken over their leaving, and the reasons for it (i.e., mostly my having done it wrong). If she called me right now, I'd sober up as quick as I could and jump in the car and go get my girls back. My advice to you is to not take the "safe" way out of this because people are telling you that you might get hurt. I dunno if dolo would have different advice for you or not. But I had to make the exact opposite kind of decision just over a year ago. Should I really invite my new girlfriend and her kids to come live with me? I'd never lived with anyone before other than college dorm-mates, and I hadn't had a romantic relationship since high school (well over a decade at that point). It was a momentous choice, but I made it.

I would not trade the last year of my life for anything. As much shit as the world has rained down on me since Wednesday afternoon, as much as I've cried, as much as my liver hurts from the amount of beer I've consumed in a vain effort to keep from feeling the shit-drops the keep falling on my head, I would DEFINITELY make the same decision to bring my girls here. I would do most everything I've done since then differently, but there's no way I would allow myself to miss out on what really has been the best year of my life just out of fear of what might happen. I made the right choice then, no doubt in my mind. dolo made a different choice Wednesday, but that doesn't erase what we shared together.

You make your own decision, and once you've made it, whichever way, try like hell not to do it wrong. 'Cause it really, really sucks when you do.

[anonymousdemocrat]

17. so sorry to hear this, short bus president;

heartbreak is so painful... i don't know what to say.

:hug:

thanks for sharing with me.

:hug:

[short bus president]

19. I'm just sayin'

Don't let fear of "unknown unknowns" dictate what you choose. Gawd knows I ran into more unknown unknowns in the past year than I never knew existed, but I would NEVER take back that initial, "you know, you guys could come live with me." Even given the horror show my life has been for the past 4+ days, the good that came from that initial decision to share (at least a part of) my life with someone special still outweighs the bad.