Are these the greatest lyrics ever penned by the hand of man?

[rumguy]

G.I. Joe Theme Song

Yo Joe!
He'll fight for freedom where ever there's trouble.
GI Joe is there.
It's GI Joe against Cobra the enemy
Fighting to save the day.
He never gives up.
He's always there,
Fighting for freedom over land and air
GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there
GI Joe is the codename for American's daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It's purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra-
a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

He never gives up.
He'll stay til the fight's won.
GI Joe will dare.
GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe

http://www.joeheadquarters.com/lyricsseason1.shtml

[Lizzie Borden]

1. No.

[The Zanti Regent]

21. No, THIS is the immortal hymm written by Frank Zappa

Some take the bible
For what it's worth
When it says that the meek
Shall inherit the Earth
Well, I heard that some sheik
Has bought New Jersey last week
'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin'
Is Hare Rama really wrong
If you wander around
With a napkin on
With a bell on a stick
An' your hair is all gone...
(The geek shall inherit nothin')

You say yer life's a bum deal
'N yer up against the wall...
Well, people, you ain't even got no
Deal at all
'Cause what they do
In Washington
They just takes care
of NUMBER ONE
An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU
You ain't even NUMBER TWO

Those Jesus Freaks
Well, they're friendly but
The shit they believe
Has got their minds all shut
An' they don't even care
When the church takes a cut
Ain't it bleak when you got so much
nothin'
(So whaddya do)
Eat that pork
Eat that ham
Laugh till ya choke
On Billy Graham
Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham...
They're all a waste of time
'N it's yer ass that's on the line
(IT'S YER ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE)

Do what you wanna
Do what you will
Just don't mess up
Your neighbor's thrill
'N when you pay the bill
Kindly leave a little tip
And help the next poor sucker
On his one way trip...
SOME TAKE THE BIBLE...
(Aw gimme half a dozen for the hotel
room!)

[qnr]

2. I second that "No" - and, to boot, I know them as something like

G.I. Joe
G.I. Joe
Fighting man from head to toe
On the land, on the sea, in the air

and so on...

[Elidor]

3. lol...umm...NO.

I was a willow last night in my dream
I bent down over a clear-running stream
And sang you the song that I heard up above
And you kept me alive with your sweet flowing love...

Crazy.

[CO Liberal]

4. These are Better, IMHO

Here he comes
Here comes Speed Racer
He's a demon on wheels =
He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone.

He's gainin' on you so you better look alive.
He's busy revvin' up the powerful MACH 5.

And when the odds are against him
And there's dangerous work to do
You bet your life Speed Racer
Will see it through.

Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer, Go!

He's off and flyin' as he guns the car around the track
He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back
Adventure's waitin' just ahead.

Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer, Go!

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/speedracerlyrics.html

[wyldwolf]

5. no, these are...

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh

BAT MAN!

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh

BAT MAN!

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh

BAT MAN BAT MAN BAT MAN!

[Mojambo]

6. Nope. And I would like to submit the following lyrics

penned by Phil Ochs for that honor.

Crucifixion (about the assassination of JFK)

And the night comes again to the circle studded sky
The stars settle slowly, in lonliness they lie
'Till the universe expodes as a falling star is raised
Planets are paralyzed, mountains are amazed
But they all glow brighter from the briliance of the blaze
With the speed of insanity, then he dies.

In the green fields a turnin', a baby is born
His cries crease the wind and mingle with the morn
An assault upon the order, the changing of the guard
Chosen for a challenge that is hopelessly hard
And the only single sound is the sighing of the stars
But to the silence and distance they are sworn

So dance dance dance
Teach us to be true
Come dance dance dance
'Cause we love you

Images of innocence charge him go on
But the decadence of destiny is looking for a pawn
To a nightmare of knowledge he opens up the gate
And a blinding revelation is laid upon his plate
That beneath the greatest love is a hurricane of hate
And God help the critic of the dawn.

So he stands on the sea and shouts to the shore,
But the louder that he screams the longer he's ignored
For the wine of oblivion is drunk to the dregs
And the merchants of the masses almost have to be begged
'Till the giant is aware, someone's pulling at his leg,
And someone is tapping at the door.

To dance dance dance
Teach us to be true
Come dance dance dance
'Cause we love you

Then his message gathers meaning and it spreads accross the land
The rewarding of his pain is the following of the man
But ignorance is everywhere and people have their way
Success is an enemy to the losers of the day
In the shadows of the churches, who knows what they pray
For blood is the language of the band.

The Spanish bulls are beaten; the crowd is soon beguiled,
The matador is beautiful, a symphony of style
Excitement is estatic, passion places bets
Gracefully he bows to ovations that he gets
But the hands that are applauding are slippery with sweat
And saliva is falling from their smiles

So dance dance dance
Teach us to be true
Come dance dance dance
'Cause we love you

Then this overflow of life is crushed into a liar
The gentle soul is ripped apart and tossed into the fire.
First a smile of rejection at the nearness of the night
Truth becomes a tragedy limping from the light
All the heavens are horrified, they stagger from the sight
As the cross is trembling with desire.

They say they can't believe it, it's a sacreligious shame
Now, who would want to hurt such a hero of the game?
But you know I predicted it; I knew he had to fall
How did it happen? I hope his suffering was small.
Tell me every detail, for I've got to know it all,
And do you have a picture of the pain?

So dance dance dance
Teach us to be true
Come dance dance dance
'Cause we love you

Time takes her toll and the memory fades
but his glory is broken, in the magic that he made.
Reality is ruined; it's the freeing from the fear
The drama is distorted, to what they want to hear
Swimming in their sorrow, in the twisting of a tear
As they wait for the new thrill parade.

Yes, the eyes of the rebel have been branded by the blind
To the safety of sterility, the threat has been refined
The child was created to the slaughterhouse he's led
So good to be alive when the eulogy is read
The climax of emotion, the worship of the dead
And the cycle of sacrifice unwinds.

So dance dance dance
Teach us to be true
Come dance dance dance
'Cause we love you

And the night comes again to the circle studded sky
The stars settle slowly, in lonliness they lie
'Till the universe expodes as a falling star is raised
Planets are paralyzed, mountains are amazed
But they all glow brighter from the briliance of the blaze
With the speed of insanity, then he died.[/i}

[getoffmytrain]

7. all of the other posters are wrong!!!

You, sir... have indeed found the greatest lyrics ever penned! ;-)

[WoodrowFan]

8. nope, these are

Are you gonna take me home tonight
Ah, down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin world go round

Hey, I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me, Hey hey!

I've been singing with my band
Across the wire, across the land
I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies everytime, come on

Oh, won't you take me home tonight
Oh, down beside your red firelight
Oh, and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin world go round (twice)

Hey, listen here
Now your mortgages and homes
I've got stiffness in your bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still get my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you gonna make a big man out of me

Oh, you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh, down beside that red firelight
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
(2 times)
Get on your bikes and ride
Fat bottomed girls (2 times)

[antigone382]

16. THAT SONG

is my anthem.

Any guy who can sing about how hot fat chicks are instantly earns the antigone Seal of Approval (not that Freddy Mercury hasn't earned the antigone Seal of Approval already).

[CO Liberal]

17. Great Minds Think Alike

Same here!!!

[politicat]

9. no. Try these.

Simple Gifts

'Tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,
'tis the gift to come down
where we ought to be,
and when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained
to bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,
to turn, turn, will be our delight
till by turning, turning we come round right

[Eat_The_Rich]

10. Lyrics By DADA

"One night in the mirror I saw a movie star.
So I flew to Hollywood in a neighbor's car."

[CO Liberal]

11. For Some Reason, Mrs. CO Liberal Suggested This One...

My life's in jeopardy
Murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be
I ain't been home since Friday night
And now my wife is coming after me

Give me police protection
Gonna buy a gun so
I can look after number one
Give me a bodyguard
A back belt Judo expert with a machine gun

Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain
She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane
Gonna buy a fast car
Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

All I did was have a bit too much to drink
And I picked the wrong precinct
Got picked up by the law
And now I ain't got time to think

Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain
She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane
Gonna buy a fast car
Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

And I'm oh so tired of running
Gonna lay down on the floor
I gotta rest some time so
I can get to run some more

She's comin'!
She's comin'!

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/w/thewholyrics/mywifelyrics.html

[NoPasaran]

12. Not even close

My life was wrapped around the circus.
Her name was Lydia.
I met her at the world's fair in 1900,
marked down from 1940.

Ah, Lydia.
She was the most glorious creature
Under the su-un.
Guiess. DuBarry. Garbo.
Rolled into one.

Oooooooh
Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
And a torso even more so.

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too.
And proudly above waves the Red, White, and Blue,
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world,
If you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paris,
Or Washington crossing the Delaware.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Oh Lydia the Tattooed Lady
When her muscles start relaxin',
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
oh Lydia the queen of them all!
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
With a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso.
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva but with her pajamas on.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trilon.
Over on the West Coast we have Treaure Island.
Here's Najinsky a-doin' the rhumba.
Here's her social security numba.

{whistles}La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
For he went and married Lydia.

I said Lydia
{He said Lydia}
They said Lydia
{We said Lydia}
La La!

[ismnotwasm]

13. Ahem, from faulty memory;

hip hop heavy to the hip hip hopping and you don't stop rocking to the bang bang boogie said up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie to be

[bloodyjack]

14. what about the Ninja Turtles theme song

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power!

They're the world's most fearsome fighting team (We're really hip!)
They're heroes in a half-shell and they're green (Hey - get a grip!)
When the evil Shredder attacks
These Turtle boys don't cut him no slack!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Splinter taught them to be ninja teens (He's a radical rat!)
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines (That's a fact, Jack!)
Raphael is cool but crude (Gimme a break!)
Michaelangelo is a party dude (Party!)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half shell
Turtle power!

Ugh

[NightTrain]

15. We're crazy to the max, there's bologna in our slacks...

WE'RE ANIMANIACS!

[CO Liberal]

18. I Feel Inspired....

Overture, curtain lights
This is it - the night of nights
No more rehearsing, or nursing a part
We know every part by heart.....

Overture, curtain lights
This is it - we'll hit the heights.
And oh, what heights we'll hit,
On with the show - this is it!

[miss_kitty]

19. It's so hard to choose. it's hard. Hard work-

but I found these, deep, provacative, soulful, deep-i said that already-profound.

She arrives in all her splendor
Each night at nine o'clock
Her chariot is the crosstown bus
That stops right down the block
Now the old piano minstrel plays her tune as she walks in
And the queen of the silver dollar's home again

She's the queen of the silver dollar
She rules this smokey kingdom
Scepter is a wine glass and a bar stool is her throne
Now the jesters flock around her tryin' to win her favors
To see which one will take the
Queen of the silver dollar home

Now her royal dress is satin
It's shabby and it's torn
The royal jewels are rhinestones
The shoes are scuffed and worn
Of the many roads she's been down,
And the places that she's seen
Well they all look at her and say god save the queen

Now the queen of the silver dollar
Is not as haughty as she seems
She was once an ordinary girl with ordinary dreams
But there's a man who found her
And he brought her to this world
He's the one who made a queen of a simple country girl

Yes i'm the queen of the silver dollar
I rule this smokey kingdom
Scepter is a wine glass and a bar stool is my throne
Now the jesters flock around me tryin' to win my favors
To see which one will take the
Queen of the silver dollar home

Yes i'm the queen of the silver dollar
I rule this smokey kingdom
Scepter is a wine glass and a bar stool is my throne
Now the jesters flock around me tryin' to win my favors
To see which one will take the
Queen of the silver dollar home

[meganmonkey]

20. gotta do it....cheer myself up

Isn't it strange
How we move our lives for another day
Like skipping a beat
What if a great wave should wash us all away
Just thinking out loud
Don't mean to dwell on this dying thing
But looking at blood
It's alive right now
Deep and sweet within
Pouring through our veins
Intoxicate moving wine to tears
Drinking it deep
Then an evening spent dancing
It's you and me
This love will open our world
From the dark side we can see the glow of something bright
There's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day
Don't burn the day away
(MY FAVORITE VERSE)
Is this not enough?
This blessed sip of life, is it not enough?
Staring down at the ground
Oh, then complain and pray for more from above,
You greedy little pig,
Stop, just watch your world trickle away
Oh, it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years

Oh, just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope back in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Oh, so don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Oh, come sisters, my brothers,
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet,
I'm saying, open up and let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
Oh, that the best is yet to come
But oh, while you're dancing on the ground,
Don't think of, oh, when you're gone
Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head, dry your eyes, let the love in there,
There's bad times but that's okay, just look for love in there

And don't burn the day away
Look, here are we,
On this starry night, staring into space
And I must say, I feel as small as dust lying down here

Oh, what point could there be troubling
Head down, wondering, "what will become of me?"
Why concern? We cannot see but no reason to abandon it
The time is short, time, that's all right
Maybe I'll go out in the middle of the night,
And take your hand, look in your eyes, my love
All good things must come to an end sometime

Oh, but don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Oh, come sisters, my brothers,
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet,
I'm saying open up and let the rain come flooding in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But, oh, while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone
Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head, and dry your eyes, let the love in there
The bad times, well that's okay,
Let's just look for love in here, yeah

Just let the love in there,
Oh love, light up

[Kire]

22. I'm a GI Joe fan

I even started buying the comic book when it started coming out again after 9/11

[EstimatedProphet]

23. Nope, THESE are the greatest!

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said
that loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and
laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad... And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you
in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

Hey, buddy!
Yes officer..
You a head?
No, but I'm catching up, ha ha ha....

[-..__...]

24. Nope....

These are.

"There's a place you've got to go for learning
all you want to know about the facts of life.
The facts of life.

When books are what you're there about
and looks are what you care about
the time is right,
to learn the facts of life.

When the world never seems
to be living up to your dreams
it's time you started finding out
what everything is all about

When the boys you used to hate you date,
I guess you best investigate
the facts of life you gotta get'em right
the facts of life,
the facts of life,
the facts of life



2nd through 5th Seasons Opening Sequence:


You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning the Facts of Life ... Learning the Facts of Life.
Learning the Facts of Life ... Learning the Facts of Life.
Learning the Facts of Life."

[Mojambo]

27. I love Al Bundy...

I AM Al Bundy.

[mykpart]

25. You've got to be taught

To hate and fear
You've got to be taught
From year to year
It's got to be drummed in
Your dear little ear.
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught
To be afraid
Of people whose eyes
Are oddly made
And people whose skin is
A different shade
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught
Before it's too late
Before you are six, or seven, or eight
To hate all the people
Your relatives hate
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be carefully taught.

[grannylib]

26. My personal favorite; listen to it almost every day in loving memory of

my darling daughter:

Pretty soon you'll be able to remember her
Lying in the garden, singing
Right where she'll always be,
The door is always open
This is the place that I loved her
And these are the friends that she had
Long may the mountain ring
To the sound of her laughter
And she goes on and on

In her soft wind I will whisper
In her warm sun I will glisten
'Til we see her once again
In a world without end

Owe it all to Frank Sinatra
His song was playing when she walked into the room
After the long weekend
They were a lifetime together
Hear it in the eyes of children
And in the clear blue mountain view
We're coloring in the sky
And painting ladders to heaven
And she goes on and on

In her soft wind I will whisper
In her warm sun I will glisten
And I always will remember
In a world without end