The rectum stretcher (A joke)

[bif]

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the
limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and
with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your
hurry?" to which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said
the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a
rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work
from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. "You
give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS

[madinmaryland]

1. ROFLMAO

That's a classic!

[Arancaytar]

2. ROFL

I'm not familiar with the US legal system - were the court costs for that remark, or would she have had to pay those anyway? My, 45$ for calling a cop an asshole. Indeed, a bargain. :)

---

The only story I've heard of, that comes even close to that, is one about a woman driving along without a seatbelt. In Germany there's a fine for that, 40 € I think.
So a cop drives beside her car, sees this, and gets her attention by gesturing. She briefly turns around, and he shows four fingers with his right hand. She is momentarily baffled, then returns a single finger - yes, that one - and drives on. According to the story, this repeats one or two times, and then the cop orders her to pull over (well finally).

They both get out of their cars, and he says: "You didn't wear your seatbelt, and by showing four fingers I meant that you'd have to pay 40€ as a fine." She barely hesitates before responding, "Yes, I understood that, and by showing one finger, I meant I only have 10€ with me..."