Punchlines from jokes you thought were hilarious when you were 12

[ironflange]

"I can't, Mom, I'm already doing sixty!"

[Burma Jones]

1. For a Nickel I will........................n/t

[gollygee]

2. "Bob"

also:

"Matt" and "Phil"

[mac56]

3. "Rectum?! It nearly killed 'em!"

:evilgrin:

[XNASA]

12. Bingo!

That's the one.

[EstimatedProphet]

4. " You should have seen that monkey trying to put the cork back in!"

Remember that one?

[no name no slogan]

24. I remember it, with an added line

In walks the monkey, covered in elephant sh!t, and asks "where's my quarter?"

[WoodrowFan]

25. no, please tell

it sounds funny!

on edit..is this it??

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks.

But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.

A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.

One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. The big day arrived, they set up all the monitoring equipment and set out to a safe distance.

The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer.

BBBAAANNNGGG!!!!!!!

The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in crap, the second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.

"What the %$*& is so funny?" asked one of the scientist.

"You should have seen that monkey trying to put that cork back in!"

[EstimatedProphet]

27. Yup, that's it.

Remember, I was 12.

[Worst Username Ever]

5. "Curt n' Rod"

[fizzana]

6. Gorilla snot

n/t

[truthpusher]

7. That's not chocolate...

[Gildor Inglorion]

8. Yes, I puked my guts out, but...

by the grace of God and with the help of a spoon, I got 'em all back in again.
:+

[Dogmudgeon]

9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

For some reason, that joke deprived me of the ability to function for several minutes.

--bkl

[ironflange]

18. That's prolly my all-time favorite!

But it's not so funny when it pops into your head in the middle of a funeral.

[Beware the Beast Man]

10. "Damn. That's what I had for lunch."

[FATNED]

11. Death by Mambo!

Actually still makes me laugh 25 years later...

[mac56]

13. "If you do, I won't go get the money!"

nm

[lightbulb]

14. There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe

- Gerald Ford

[Vincardog]

15. because 7 8 9

[ironflange]

16. "If you help me find my motorcycle,

we can ride around until we see daylight."

Can't beat the classics!

[htuttle]

17. I'm a frayed knot!

[no name no slogan]

19. "You put a little boogie in it" (n/t)

[rocktivity]

20. To trip up nosy birds

:headbang:
rocknation

[Phillycat]

21. "Your honor, she's fuckin' Goofy!"

[Phillycat]

22. "A stick!"

[vinnievin777]

23. "Hello mom I am calling from jail"

"Just Kidding"


Vinnie

http://www.vinnievin.com

[WoodrowFan]

"the moron tab & apple choir"

(hands head in shame)

[mac56]

26. The preacher looked down at the watch and said, "Crap."

nm