Should I apologize?

[SemiCharmedQuark]

You may remember I posted before about my husband's freeper friend (the guy that goes around threatening to kick people in the nuts, plans to register Nov 1 and left that note about "for a good time call" with his bosses number on a coworker's car). Well we had a bit of an argument.
He was going on and on about how he may not be 100% happy with Bush but how he can't vote for Kerry because he still believes in the "Republican values". That was the last straw so I told him "You believe in Republican ideals so much? Why the f**k are you even here still you ignorant little sh*t? Shouldn't you go enlist already since this war means so much to you?" and walked off.
But he is my husband's friend. I feel sick at the thought of having to apologize, but I feel like I might have to. Should I?

[Skittles]

1. f*** no you shouldn't apologize

you should have kicked his ass too

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

5. And kicked him in the penis... but, wait... your would probably

need a magnifiying glass to find it.

[Canadian_moderate]

2. fuck no!

[redqueen]

3. Well, do you want to be like him?

If not, I say you should apologize. Maybe just explain that republican values aren't being demonstrated by this criminal gang. Spending us into deficits our grandkids will be paying off, starting a war his father wouldn't - and we're learning by experience now why he didn't, etc.

If you apologize I think you'll feel better. Just your posting this shows you think you should.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

8. I think you're right...

"rise above it" and set a good example and stuff. Argh, he's just such an idiot! He's a racist, sexist Reaganaut! But you're right, I have to rise above it. I feel ashamed at my outburst. I don't understand how my husband can be friends with such an idiot. But even if he weren't I guess the right thing to do is rise above it and set a good example. Thanks.

[Skittles]

10. PLEASE

morons like him have no concept of "good examples".

[redqueen]

12. Awww, c'mon

Where's your inner Anne Frank, today, Skittles? :)

[Misunderestimator]

15. I would never apologize to a racist or a sexist either... what are you

thinking? Why WOULD you apologize? You made a good point. If you apologize, he'll assume that you had no point.

[redqueen]

If you hadn't called him an ignorant s**t

and cursed at him in general, I would say no, but the harshness is I think what's making you feel you need to apologize.

Hell, you can even reassert what you said, just without the freeper-like delivery. :)

[Misunderestimator]

18. But, he IS an ignorant shit. I don't see the problem.

[redqueen]

Well, technically, there's not one.

But, if you wish to stay a member of the mannered class, and not descend into the pits of vulgarity with the freepers, well then there's that to consider.

Also there's always the chance that someone can be shown the light. By insulting and degrading them, you pretty much totally blow off that chance.

[Misunderestimator]

25. Allow me to welcome myself to the "Unmannered Class" in that case

:eyes:

[miss_kitty]

20. If this asswipe knew the meaning of 'good example'

he'd be voting for Kerry. :)

He'll take the apology as you did not mean what you said. If he brings that shit up again, tell him he's a rude fuck for discussing his brand of politics in mixed company, and he needs to STFU.

'Rising above it' does not equal 'apology' ;-)

[fudge stripe cookays]

4. No freaking way.

If he's that ignorant, you may have psychologically hit him over the head with a frying pan.

Don't even THINK of apologizing to him or I'll come kick your ass myself! :D
FSC

[Arancaytar]

14. Mmmh...

I always thought the main error of the born-again crew was their viewing of Evil and Good as attached to persons, rather than actions. As in "We're Good, you're Evil, therefore when we kick your ass, it's just, whereas when you kick our ass, it's terrorism."
Or "This government is Communist, so the people rebelling against it are Freedom Fighters we must support, while *that* regime has had good business deals with us in the past, so the people fighting it are evil malcontents."

Isn't Good/Evil what you do, rather than what you are...?

[fudge stripe cookays]

19. Not anymore.

By definition, to some of us, those supporting this administration are killing our civil liberties, our healthcare system, our educational system, our environment, and many of our citizens in an unnecessary war.

A gluttonous quest for more oil, more power, and more theocracy.

I am just as scathing when I speak to them, and I have no regrets. I'm tired of being a punching bag for these assholes. And I will not shut up.

If you call that evil, then so be it. Enjoy your martyrdom.
FSC

[Branjor]

6. No.

Your husband's relationship with the freep is separate from yours. There is no reason you should compromise yourself for the sake of your husband's relationship to him.

[Wickerman]

7. If he believes so much in Republican values then

he should look at Edward's summation on Tuesday night. The resident office Republican came in my office yesterday and told me she was blown away with what Edward's said about his dad, hard work, and family values. She said its the kind of thing she wants he politicians to say. I know she will still vote for Bush*, but I also know it has caused her to think. She has had a lot of Bush* failures and Kerry achievements to think on lately.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. no you shouldnt really apologize

you can say that it was harsher than you meant it to be but you feel strongly about american troops dying in iraq for no good reason.

[IdaBriggs]

11. No. Be polite next time he's over and act like nothing happened.

He's a guy, and he'll go along with it. (He's not sleeping with you and you aren't sleeping with him, so nothing needs to be worked out before sex resumes.) For men, apologizing is a sign of weakness. You are a woman -- you want to "build community" but really an apology will put you in a "one down" position. Your argument will come across as STRONGER if you don't apologize for it. (Its one of the reasons Bush is being 'baited' to apologize and he won't do it.) Play to your audience when making your case, and you'll make more converts. You did well! :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. What I have been doing is agreeing not to talk politics with those I am

destined to clash with until after the election. But, I believe you can stand firm in your opinion, whether his feelings are "hurt" or not. You have a valid point. :hi:

[miss_kitty]

16. Screw him. Kick him in the nuts by way of apology

"...left that note about "for a good time call" with his bosses number on a coworker's car..." why is he not FIRED?

Plus the ignorant shit does not even KNOW what a Republican is. He is supporting a fascist, imperialistic oligarchy, designed to keep stupid shits like him working for nothing, and/or becoming cannon fodder.

There are no Republicans running for President this time around. There's a guy who SAYS he's a Republican, but he's proven himself to be a liar over and over again. Only idiots still believe what the cheney bush junta says anymore.

You don't need to apologise for speaking your mind to a rude fuck.

:hi:

[SemiCharmedQuark]

27. I was shocked he wasn't fired myself

The boss is far more good natured than myself. I really really can't stand the guy. He is really disgusting. His latest thing is making fun of my husband by saying that I am "emasculating". I suppose any woman who is not barefoot and pregnant is emasculating. He's pre-law and he hates edwards for being a "trial lawyer" which is just...great. What can I expect from someone that says Reagan's selling of weapons to the Contras doesn't make him a criminal just "Republican".

[miss_kitty]

33. now that is exactly why I would not apologise to anyone LIKE him

He has no sense of boundary and he is a constant offender.
he's probably told people you were 'on the rag' when you popped off at him.

people who show this kind of disrespect on an ongoing basis really don't need to be shown any. I would say that he misses social cues often, a sign of some personality disorder.

IMO, if he was semi-'normal' an apology would be in order. As far as "emasculating" goes, he should know now, shouldn't he.

I had this weird 'friend' with whom I had a big falling out. She exhibited very strange (OK it was untreated bipolar) behaviour, when she was supposed to be caring for me after major, life-altering surgery. I saw her a couple weeks ago (more than 2 years after 'The Incident') and it was obvious she wanted to engage me. I said "Hi K------" no smile-neutral face, wearing sunglasses she said "Hi Kath! How's it going?" all smiley and shit. I said "fine" and walked on. That's how I deal with people like that.

[Dora]

17. Are you sorry?

If you're not sorry, then don't apologize. However, there are many kinds of apologies, and you may feel sorry about something (even if it's not blowing your lid at him).

This could be an excellent opportunity to give this dumbass the lowdown on The Many Ways That Bush Has Failed the Republican Dream. This would be what my buddha-husband calls a teachable moment.

However, I don't know the whole story here. The little bit of history that is in your posting gives me the creeps. I think another option would be to put your foot down and tell your husband that this friend isn't welcome in your home anymore.

[redqueen]

21. Teachable moment...

I like that!

[regularguy]

32. Well, there ya have it:

If you are actually sorry, then apologize. If not then you shouldn't.

[johnnie]

22. I wouldn't

Have you EVER heard a Republican apologize for anything? Republican values does make me chuckle a little though.

[Phillycat]

23. I am in the minority on this.

You don't say whether he used profanity and called you names during the argument. But you called him an "ignorant little shit". I think that is uncalled for, unless he started being rude and disrespectful first.

I would apologize for your tone and your namecalling. The sentiment of course needs no apology.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

26. He's done worse than namecalling, but yeah, he has name called

In case you missed my post before, here are some things this Xtian has done.

1.) He threatens to "kick you in the nuts" if you happen to be a liberal and such
2.) He didn't like the fact his boss took a duty away from him so he wrote her number on a sheet of paper preceded by "for a good time call" and stuck it in the parking lot.
3.) He then blamed the guy that turned the note in to the manager for his getting in trouble.
4.) He gets nasty and namecalls to the other liberal that works there all the time.
5.) Because I have opinions he is constantly telling my husband that I am "emasculating"

He's no friend of mine, I am one step above loathing him. I don't regret what I said, so much as how I said it. But I agree with you, I should apologize for how I said it.

[Phillycat]

29. He sounds like a total asshole.

Apologize to him for your tone and then tell your husband you don't want him to step foot inside your house ever again!

Good luck. :)

[Paradise]

24. You don't have to apologize but you can say or write a note

saying that you are extremely upset about what has been, and is going on in this country, how we are losing our democracy, and that there are many true conservatives who have denounced bush and have turned to kerry; that values are not exclusive to the republicans but to all americans. as a matter of fact, you are so emotional about this war, this administration, that you allowed yourself to mix politics with friendship, and that you would (be sincerely sorry to see) or (would regret having) a valued friendship end, and that you are formally requesting a do-over :). (sending a note may be the right way to go, and then, a few days later, a follow-up phone call inviting him/them over for a non-political visit or inviting yourself to visit him/them with some "peace" cookies.)

[DelawareValleyDem]

28. No, but I should

apologize to you because I'm going to steal your speech verbatim and repeat it to every neocon I know.

[Neshanic]

30. Hell no! He sounds like an ass. Do not apologize.

[Rockholm]

31. No apologies necessary.

[DrWeird]

34. Maybe after he apologizes for being an ignorant shit.

But not before.

If somebody's an ignorant shit it's your moral and ethical duty to tell them so. Would you apologize for telling somebody they've got a bit of cilantro stuck between their teeth? Of course not.

[donheld]

35. i see no reason to apologize

at all! he sounds like a royal jackass