What should I give my friend who's in the hospital?

[flamingyouth]

One of my dearest friends is having a hysterectomy this week, and she wants me to come sit with her so her husband can have a break. We've been friends for almost 20 years; she is my sorority Big Sister (and one of the best things I got out of that experience ;) ).

She can't have flowers because of allergies, and pain medication usually makes her throw up, so she won't want food, more than likely. Any suggestions? Also, how long might she expect to be out of commission? I was thinking of giving her some coupons for baby-sitting her two young daughters (my godchildren). Thanks! :hi:

[MrScorpio]

1. A Mini iPod

The pink one

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. That's a good idea

Another would be to give her something to do with hobbies she might have. Stamp collecting? Scrapbooking? You could get her something she could use in those hobbies, which she might be able to persue during her recovery. Or you could get her a book dealing with a more strenuous hobby, like gardening, or a CD of her favorite music.

[flamingyouth]

3. The gardening book is a great idea!

I hadn't thought of that. She loves to garden, and maybe she can plan for next spring while she's recovering. Thanks! :hi:

[ogradda]

4. what a good idea

that would make me smile. how about something to read, does she read? puzzle books, crossword puzzles?

[Lefta Dissenter]

5. Long-distance phone card

if she's got family or friends out of town that she might want to call either from the hospital or once she's home?

HA, edited to add that it should be a prepaid one (you can get them for about 3 cents/minute at Sams)

[flamingyouth]

16. Good idea

I think I'll make her a little goodie basket and throw one of those in. Thanks!

[Lars39]

6. Add some Burt's Bees Lip Balm to the coupons.

Or some lotion and a backrub. Or a meal brought to her house at about 1 to 2(or later even) weeks post-op. You would quickly rise to saint level. :)

[flamingyouth]

13. I was thinking of making them some dinners down the road

I have to figure out the food allergy situation first (everyone's allergic to something in that family, so it will be complicated). Thanks! :hi:

[Kira]

7. Crystals

Do a search for which crystals help heal the parts of her body that are being affected. You can buy them at a crystal shop. I don't know where you live but most towns and cities have those funky stores that carry them. She can hold them when you aren't there and meditate with them. She can hold them before her surgery.

[flamingyouth]

15. That's a nice idea - she'd like that

Thanks! :hi:

[The empressof all]

8. I appreciated.....

Lots of trashy magazines and chocolates to entice the nurses to visit often.

[flamingyouth]

12. I'll keep that in mind

Thanks! :D

[miss_kitty]

9. if the removal is laprascopic in nature

she should be back on her feet in a hurry. An opening of the abdominal area will keep her off her feet longer. Your presence is probably the best thing-as a person who spent 5 weeks total in the hospital (2 weeks, then 3 weeks), all I wanted was to get out! I could not stay awake to watch movies or read books...which hospital?

[flamingyouth]

11. They think she will have to have an abdominal incision

She has had horrible endometriosis for as long as I've known her. And they're taking out one (maybe both) of her ovaries as well. :(

She'll be at Virginia Mason on First Hill, where her doctor is based. I hope she can get a private room, but I doubt it there.

[miss_kitty]

25. well all the hospitals in this area are great

although my experience is not there. I was reading some of the other suggestions, and the mags are a great idea and a book for later-ask her what she wants when you visit-you really don't know what you want beforehand, and it's not at all like you thought it would be-pain meds make it hard to concentrate. If they make her ill, they should switch, or give her an anti-emetic like zofran to keep the gag away...If she's not feeling well, she should not feel like she can't pipe up about it-and you and hubby should help if she finds it too draining to be pro-active on her behalf.
I think the kid care and the meal fixing were great ideas too...

[flamingyouth]

26. She's a nurse, so she's already got her anti-emetics lined up

And fortunately she's known (and worked with) this doctor for over 10 years now, so she trusts him.

Are you in the medical field too?

[miss_kitty]

27. no well not as a professional

i had cancer, no insurance, so it was advanced...long story short-I have spent a lot of time learning and practicing the ropes in medicine here in Seattle-if I ever meet you-I'll show you my scar!

I have a followup with my surgeon on thursday-I think I'll be having more repair work done :shrug: but what can I do?

On Edit: I am a gardener :)

[flamingyouth]

28. Wow - I'm glad you're doing okay

That is scary to face without health insurance. :( Even with health insurance, what a lousy thing to have to face. I had fibroids removed last spring, so I have an inkling. Good luck to you this Thursday - I hope you get a good report!

(I thought you were a gardener from previous posts! I figured I'd lost my mind and was confused :D)

[miss_kitty]

29. it's hard to keep track of 52,000+ members!

thanks! I just need mesh to hold my guts back. I wish he'd done it on op #1. :)

:hi:

[Karenina]

10. The best thing you can give her

is your undivided attention.

[flamingyouth]

14. Oh, she'll have that

I just didn't want to show up totally empty handed. ;)

[liberalmuse]

17. A good book.

Something mindless with a little romance and adventure in it while she's laid up. Also, a lot of encouragement. My friend was terrified, since this was her first surgery and when her co-workers and friends found out she was having a hysterectomy, they seemed to enjoy telling her horror stories. She came through just fine. I gave her a breakfast in bed tray and a body pillow.

Years ago, when a coworker was in the hospital after having a hysterectomy, I gave her chocolate and a Playgirl. What a dumbass.

[flamingyouth]

18. What is it with people telling surgery horror stories?

I don't understand that! People tell horrible childbirth stories to pregnant women too. :crazy: I'm trying to keep everything positive for her. I know she's nervous, but she's also looking forward to it because she's been so miserable for so many years.

The bed tray & body pillow are great ideas; she would really like that. Thank you! :hi:

[VOX]

19. Is she a sucker for stuffed animals?

These are usually welcome, and they survive as a sentimental reminder of the kindness that was extended to the recipient in a tough time.

[flamingyouth]

22. I think she would appreciate it

Thank you! :hi:

[Sabriel]

20. The best thing I got was books on tape...

and something to play them on. Hospital time is boooooooring, so I appreciated the taped voices, without having to deal with the book itself. Very soothing.

[flamingyouth]

24. Oooh, that's a good idea

Especially since she'll probably be feeling too out of it to read. :hi:

[2Design]

21. crayons and a nice coloring book - ice cream

[MissMillie]

33. crayons!!!!

what a great idea!

[LiberalManiacfromOC]

23. .... just give her a car.....

:crazy:

[deadparrot]

30. A large book of crossword puzzles/games, if she enjoys that kind of stuff.

[sweetheart]

31. A super accurate compass so she can find her way home

I know this is kinda "outdoors-like", but sometimes such things
remind us of being alive and that life has so much adventure in it.

http://www.sailgb.com/sshop/prod_info.asp?pid=724

And as well, a compass is quite symbolic, to finding a true course
in the world, something that i would wish for anyone i loved.

good fortune to your friend,
-s

[MissMillie]

32. A good book

A subscription to The American Prospect

A gift certificate for a massage (she won't use it right away, but later it will be great) or even a manicure/pedicure

a new pair of slippers or something soft to wear around the house