To people with children...

[Dookus]

I salute you.

I've had a puppy for two weeks now. I'm exhausted. I love him to death, and he's the joy of my life, but goddammit, the little punk doesn't let me sleep more than 5 hours a night, requires constant attention when he's awake, needs walkies and playtime and doesn't do exactly what I want him to do all the time.

This is as close as I'll ever get to fatherhood, and I *KNOW* it's a thousand times easier than a human baby, but DAMN! I can't believe infanticide is as rare as it is.

[kmla]

1. As a father of two young boys, all I have to say is....

.... hee hee hee!

Just be glad he doesn't get strep throat, or decide to flush your wallet down the toilet...

[Mizmoon]

21. Mine dropped the keys in the fishtank

didn't find them till weeks later, long after I had to order another set from the dealer.

[Spinzonner]

23. You should have known better

Always look where they can't possibly be

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Jessie is laughing her ass off at you.

Just think, she's toilet trained, will walk without a leash, and is a very good listener....when she wants to be.

I am not finding it a lot easier than my kids. She is just as needy at times, and can break my heart just as quickly.

But, they bring great joy with those wet noses!!

Hugs,Laura

[Dookus]

8. actually

Tucker's almost potty-trained. I've just had to learn "his" schedule.

Wake up in the morning - take him immediately outside for a pee and a poop. Bring him inside. Let him eat a few bites of kibble. Straight outside again. More poop. Bring him in again. Let him eat his whole bowl of kibble. Wait 10 minutes. Outside for the third poop of the day, and this is usually prior to 7:00am (I was used to sleeping 'til 11:00).

Then, for the rest of the day, he will usually be just fine going on my schedule - as long as I take him out every two hours or so. But that early morning nonsense is insane. Where is the poop coming from? The other day, he hardly ate anything at all (maybe 1 cup of food) but he still pooped like a choleric stevedore.

I think he violates the laws of physics.

[wysi]

3. I've been sleep deprived...

... for three years and counting. I figure by the time the kids are 8 and 6 or so I might get a night's sleep, but I'm not counting on it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

5. There's nothing like waking up at 2 AM with a jolt...staring into the

impossibly giant eyes of your six year old...trust me. :)

[Dookus]

19. heheh

My mom still talks about how I used to sneak into her room in the middle of the night, pull an eyelid open and whisper "Mommy! Are you awake?"

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. James does that too.

"Mommy? Wanna switch beds?" :hi:

[Dookus]

28. heheh

btw... I keep telling Tucker about his sister,Jessie. He's anxious to meet her. When is she coming out here?

She emailed me the other day and said she's sick of being around kids. Plus, she thinks Tucker is "hot" and would like to be his bitch.

Please send her first-class, as she doesn't like mingling with the hoi polloi.

[ScreamingMeemie]

33. She just had her "hair done".

And is ready to go. She tried to hitch a ride with my parents out there last week...but they forgot to take her. :(

[tigereye]

35. my son would get out of his toddler bed

come into our room, yell BOOO! and laugh hysterically. It was very funny.

[tigereye]

34. I think you willl

they do sleep eventually. :) It is like a revelation when you do!

[Cheswick2.0]

4. I think human babies are easier the first two years

you can change their diapers and stick them in a play pen. Human things such as music and TV will distract them when you really need a few minutes rest and they can't get up from their bed until you get them.
Puppies poop on the floor or you have to walk them. They chew up the furniture and they don't sit still when you turn on a Muppet movie.

In a year you will have a really nice companion who will never be a human teenager.

[Dookus]

10. he's already a great companion

the breed (English Bulldog) isn't known for its trainability, but the first day I had him, I taught him Sit. Now he knows how to heel really well (on or off leash), he knows "go to your bed", "go in your house", and he's doing really well with Stay and Shake Hands. He doesn't like "down" much, but he's getting it.

Of course, he still loves to nip at my hands and paw me when he wants attention, and I'm having a helluva time breaking him of that. But he's SUCH a sweet little guy.

[latebloomer]

6. Well, the reason they make babies so cute

is so that you won't murder them when they drive you STARK RAVING MAD!!

[misterphelps]

7. You only have to touch shit for 2 years with a kid

...but dogs....

[Dookus]

22. true...

but a dog never asks for money, never tells you "I hate you and wish I had never been born!" and never steals your valium.

[XNASA]

9. Bow to me, er, us.

We have not one, but two teenage boys in our house.

It's unlike anything I ever imagined.

[Dookus]

11. heheh

My mother had the misfortune of having 4 kids in 3.5 years (I'm a twin). She had a 2.5 year old, a 1.5 year old, and infant twins.

I can't believe we're all alive today.

[XNASA]

15. Our guys are 3 years apart, and still in their early teens.

We still have a few years before we start Phase III (empty nesting.......downtown).

Can't wait. They're eating us out of house and home.

[Spinzonner]

12. One reason for having two

so they can entertain each other

In the wild and by nature dogs are pack animals. SO, you're ahving to be a surrogate dog.

[Dookus]

13. sigh

I know... I thought about a second, but I think I'd implode.

I do have three cats who are learning the ins and outs of dealing with a big goofy spastic dog. Eventually they'll all be friends.

[Spinzonner]

16. Maybe he'll think they're just wierd dogs

[Dogmudgeon]

14. It's just as bad at the other end of life

I'm the "primary caretaker" for my grandmother, who has been ill, and is probably dying. She sleeps, she eats, and she excretes, on a schedule that is utterly unpredictable. She is also periodically demented, and I don't mean "Dr. Demento" demented. And unlike a 15 or 20 pound baby, at 90 pounds, she is too heavy to pick up and carry to the tub.

It's a hell of a nasty role-reversal, I'll tell you that. But the alternative is to ship her off to a warehouse for the dying. Someplace I wouldn't even want to send a dog.

--bkl

[Dookus]

17. That must be so hard, BKL...

and there's probably little joy in such a job. But you're performing a mitzvah and if there's any justice to the world, you will be rewarded.

[skygazer]

31. My hat's off to you

That's a hell of a job to take on. My sister spent the last two years caring for my aunt who suffers from dementia. It's a 24 hour a day responsibility and not many people take it on anymore. :toast:

[barb162]

32. I was the primary caretaker for an uncle with bladder cancer

there were times when I thought I would go crazy. I understand....

[ironflange]

18. Lucky for you that Fido won't become a teenager

Teenagers are your punishment for enjoying sex.

[mopinko]

20. and you don't even have to breast feed

let alone be pregnant. i have 5. 3 are teenagers, including one who is bi-polar. sorry, it is 100,000 times harder around here. (and i have 3 dogs, including a pair of crazy twins.)

[Dookus]

25. yikes!

You win.

[mopinko]

26. what's my prize

besides my silver hair?

[Dookus]

27. the prize is a day with Tucker

[mopinko]

29. ok

soon as he is house broken, you can bring him over.

[Dookus]

30. well

he's already housebroken, as long as you know exactly when to take him out. He hasn't yet learned to tell me when that is, though.