My ex- is home from Iraq on leave; advice wanted.

[Cuban_Liberal]

He wants to come visit. He and I parted on a friendly basis, but he's never met Paddy. Paddy's not home yet, so I haven't had a chance to ask him how he feels about it. Any general advice, suggestions, etc. ?

:shrug:

[MrScorpio]

1. Beers and talk

Keep it simple

Well... maybe a bar-b-que

[yelladawg]

4. Keep it real simple

Be careful, he wants to feel loved and wanted. Don't do anything to give him a false impression.

[Cuban_Liberal]

6. Oh, I won't meet him alone...

That option's already been crossed off my list, and I told David as much.

[rocktivity]

2. Well, maybe it's time that he DID meet Paddy

Maybe he just wants to talk, get re-acclimated for civilian life. Maybe you can Paddy can take him out to dinner--you know, keep it "businesslike."

:headbang:
rocknation

[Cuban_Liberal]

7. That's an option.

I was thinking dinner and a few drinks somewhere...

[Cuban_Liberal]

8. Self-delete

.

[prolesunited]

3. I would check with Paddy

but he is such a kind and compassionate person, it seems like he would be OK with it.

Question is: Do YOU want to see your ex and how do you feel about it?

[Cuban_Liberal]

5. I don't know how I feel, exactly.

On the one hand, I'd be pleased to see David again; as I said, we parted on friendly terms, and he's a great guy. On the other hand, I'd rather slit my throat than do anything that would hurt Paddy's feelings.

:shrug:

[prolesunited]

9. Well, it sounds like you have your answer

Can your meeting wait until you've had a chance to talk with him about it? Would you feel awkward if it was the three of you? Your ex won't get the wrong idea and Paddy wouldn't feel threatened.

[Cuban_Liberal]

10. It's not urgent that we meet...

he's home for 2 weeks, and I'd feel better about it if Paddy and I talked about it 1st...

[bigwillq]

11. Talk with Paddy

These situtions can be awkward for all parties involved but since you said you parted on friendly terms, I think the three of you (if this is what you decide) would be able to have dinner or a drink together without harm.

[Cuban_Liberal]

14. That' what i've decided to do...

It just blew my mind at first, when he called. Talk about a 'voice from the past'!

[bigwillq]

18. Hope things go well

It seems like Paddy will be open-minded about this situation and from what I know about you, I am guessing that this other dude is a decent guy or I don't think you would've been with him in the first place.

[Cuban_Liberal]

21. Thanks!

Yeah, Paddy's pretty level-headed about things like this, probably even moreso than I am; that's one reason separate and apart from his own feelings that I want to ask him about it. And yes, David's a thoroughly decent guy.

:)

[jonnyblitz]

12. wait for paddy

:thumbsup:

[trof]

13. You have sure piqued my curiosity.

It's been my observation that males and females view romantic/sexual realtionships very differently, gay OR straight.

Now we have an all male "triangle". Mama mia.

For what it's worth, Miz t. sez "If he still has 'feelings' for this guy, don't. It will ruin this relationship. If he doesn't, and they're really just friends, OK. Oh...and do NOTHING till you talk to Paddy. Put him off until you do." I go with Miz t.'s judgement on 'people relationships' just about 100% of the time. The few times I didn't, I turned out to be wrong.
;-)

There's the female take.
As a straight guy, I really have no input, I guess. I know I would nver have an old girlfriend over, and Miz t. wouldn't like it much either.

Not much help, hunh?
Lemme know how it turns out.

[Cuban_Liberal]

15. I like Mrs. t's advice.

There are no feelings of 'that kind' left (at least on my part), but I still wanna talk to Paddy first, and see how he feels about it.

[trof]

17. She's pretty good.

Reminds me of something I read in "Brain Sex" (which I highly recommend you read).
"Men can read maps, women can read people."
Too true.

[Placebo]

16. DON'T DO IT.

It's never fun to have your boyfriend/lover's ex come into the relationship again, HOWEVER non-threatening it may be. It's just very uncomfortable and weird, don't do it. I used to hate when my boyfriend would want to hang out with or have his ex's who he wanted to try and 'remain friends with'.

It's just...not cool.

[prolesunited]

19. Here's another thought that popped into my head

How's he going to feel about this thread? :shrug:

[Cuban_Liberal]

20. He'll understand this thread...

I sorta freaked momentarily when David called here, so Paddy'll understand my :wtf: reaction.

:)