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Wow, there's something to be said for daytime American TV (semi-sarcasm)

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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-01-03 02:46 PM
Original message
Wow, there's something to be said for daytime American TV (semi-sarcasm)
Holiday today, so I watched the telly.

They had the morning propaganda (news) which I avoided. Then came the new Family Feudx. Richard Karn is a horrible host, what happened to Louis Anderson?

Then turned to Maury Povitch. Oh joy. 14 year old girls who want babies who've slept with dozens of men in order to get pregnant. :eyes: This was really sad stuff, especially since I've got a cousin who got a 14 year old girl pregnant... Amusingly, one girl came out and said "I'll do what I want!" and "Whatever!" which made me remember the hilarious South Park episode which spoofed the Maury show!!! I don't often commend South Park, but it did a great job in pointing out how stupid television can be.

Then came Dr. Phil. He had a bit at the end about a couple who allowed their 5 year old daughter, 7 year old son, and cute dog Spot to bathe together. :eyes: As usual, Phil said nothing of merit yet said it in a way that sounded meritous. What's the point of his show again?

By then, I got bored with the trash geared at "adults" so I then turned to PBS to see how the kiddie "educational" stuff was like.

First saw Sesame Street. Hmmm, Elmo is in it more than half the time and Snufalupagas is gone entirely. One skit was with Elmo and Gordon about to go off to a baseball game so Elmo had to get a fish-sitter. :eyes: Two monster muppets appear and all they do is bicker. In the end, Elmo doesn't do anything supportive, he instead opts to take the fish with him. :eyes: And the foreign word of the day was "feliz", except the monster muppets (Oscar the Grouch and the dumb worm) pronounced it wrong. :eyes:

Then they had a numbers skit. NOT a counting skit. A numbers skit. Just 12 guys in suits coming out holding big numbers. Ooooh, so that's what a "12" looks like. If I were 4 and had a brain, I'd ask "What's a 12? It's surely more than this?!" Gee, what the hell happened to "12 banana cream pies" or a proper representation of what 12 is for?!

Then some more Elmo skits... What a freakin' joke. This show is camp for toddlers and offers no education of any sort!

They even had a skit where Fran Drescher, nasal voice and all, opts to become a NANNY for a monster family. Two monster parents and one baby monster. The baby was purple and looked nothing like the parents. The mom was blue and the dad was purple and neither looked anything like the baby. Gee, why not made dad red and show that red and blue make purple, if nothing else?! But I did learn something, it's obvious one of the monster parents had some fun on the side, which was why the baby doesn't look much like the both of them combined!

Even Oscar's worm now sings. :eyes: I'm amazed they included Oscar.

They even had a new version of Ernie singing "Rubber Duckie". What the hell was wrong with the original 1970 one, which was probably better anyway? Ernie looks different, too.

Then comes Barney. I could only stand one scene. Barney is roboticizing the kids about exercise. They start jumping up and down goofily. The 6 year old girl with developing boobs says "You look like a chicken, Barney." Camera pans to a full view of Barney, who clearly looks more like a penis than a chicken, unless this was a bright 6 year old girl who heard that "chicken" used to be a coy euphemism for "penis".

So I gave up on that and turned the station to watch propaganda, er some news. I then took a little nap as propaganda is so boring.

Then came noon and I watched the teletubbies! Kewl! Obviously geared to an audience younger than Sesame Street's. But whereas Sesame Street merely shows things which are numbers without using them in context to show what they are for, yet alone doing anything even remotely educational (the fun stuff is okay but it's billed as being educational so where's the education in it?), Teletubbies actually COUNTED up to 4, complete with references. How odd that an educational show would actually educate!

Then they did something odd. The Tubbytoast machine did not give the teletubbies their tubbytoast and the teletubbies went postal and chased the machine until it capitulated. Then they got their toast. (yup, never ever teach children diplomacy; teaching them to terrorize is MUCH better and obviously accomplishes more... :eyes: In the real world, they would have destroyed the toast machine and they wouldn't get their tubbytoast and would likely have blamed each other in the process and do us all the favor of murdering each other to death...)

By then I had had it all, so I popped in a tape and watched several episodes of "Red Dwarf" to cheer me up.

Why are the hackers trying to destroy the internet when America's daytime television schedules are far more worthy candidates?!
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madrchsod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-01-03 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
1. what!!!
no jerry,jerry,jerry?? you haven`t watched daytime tv if you missed jerry. plus you didn`t mention any of the dating shows....
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-01-03 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Jerry... Springer?
That's 11PM! And the dating shows (Elimidate, Shipmates, et al) aren't on until 10PM anyway. And I don't watch those, and Springer's show is now so contrived these days! How much are the goofy guests paid to strip nekkid in front of the camera just so the sound fx guy can rev up the "mooo" noise in order to entertain the pathetic audience, all of which always find lesbians to be cool but don't seem to like the gay guys at all... :eyes:
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