I am SO shocked and angry -- racists in my own family!

[Samurai_Writer]

I am just SEETHING, so I just thought I'd dump it all here for you guys to read! I just got back from visiting my wonderful sister and her two adorable daughters who were adopted from China. While I was there, our cousin's husband died. Our cousin is our same age (early 40s). My mom went to the funeral, and while there, made this discovery (which she told me about last night on the phone):

My brother has a daughter (by birth) and my sister has two (by adoption). They are range in age from 1-3 years old. My aunt and uncle ONLY have my brother's daughter's photo displayed, and REFUSE to display my other nieces' photos because they are not 'blood related' (and not white). Several members of our family told my mother this while she was there.

ALSO... my cousin and her husband (the one who died) were in the process of trying to gain custody of his grandchildren. His son and daughter-in-law were killed in a car accident about a month before my cousin's husband died. These kids, age 9 and 14, have had a very rough life, and NEED my cousin to provide them some stability. However, they are half hispanic, and yes, you guessed it, my aunt and uncle are not supportive at all of my cousin -- even during this time when her husband has just died -- because the kids are not 'blood-related' (and not white).

I am LIVID. I can't decide if I want to write them a letter telling them exactly how I feel or not. Of course, the fact that I surrendered my first son for adoption when I was in high school probably doesn't sit too well with them either. After all, he was 'blood-related' and I 'gave him up' (which is complete BS of course -- full story here -- www.geocities.com/maryblock/marybb.html).

What's really strange is this is my dad's brother, and my dad was the most open-minded, non-racist guy you could ever meet. Heck, I dated a black guy in high school in the mid 1970s, my first serious boyfriend, and he was very supportive. So I just don't get it! These are my nieces, and my cousin's grandchildren! How can they deny these children, who are much loved and part of our family?

[fudge stripe cookays]

1. I would write them a ltter....

but that's just me. I'm so disgusted with everything going on around us right now that I'm closer to some of my friends than I am to my own brother and other folks I've been close to for years.

As long as you and the rest of the family support having these children around, that's all that matters-- the love and support they receive. But I would definitely let these poeple know that racism is not okay, and whether they like it or not, these kids are now part of the family.

My mother tried to raise me racist, and I see red every time I think of it. I could have turned out just like that. Instead I broke the mold and trained her NOT to be racist. But what if I hadn't learned any better?

This shit pisses me off.
FSC

[Misunderestimator]

2. And those are the kind of relatives I would disavow.

I would write them a letter and explain how you feel about the situation, but if there's no change, then it's better to not expose the children to that kind of blatant bigotry at all (by removing those family members from the picture).

I have a brother who is a racist and a homophobe (and a born-again Christian), who I have not spoken with in 4 years and that was only because we all converged at my dad's home after he had a heart attack. Before that I hadn't seen him or talked to him in 15 years, and I have no plans to.

I'd be livid too.

[billybob537]

3. This wont go away

unless you get it out. I'd write them,try not to be mad but let them know how you feel. If nothing else they should respect you for speeking your mind. If not they're not worth your time.

[Samurai_Writer]

6. I will write them

after I have calmed down a bit. Might be a couple years before that happens, though. I have not been this angry in a LONG time!

[Bronco69]

4. I would write them a letter also.

It's time to let racists and bigots know exactly where we stand. Relatives or not, don't let this go unanswered.

[MissMillie]

5. Great family values, eh?

Try to not let it upset you too much. After all, it is those who shut out other people who end up losing. Your aunt and uncle are missing out on the love of those terrific kids.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

7. That's appalling.

I have an aunt like that, only with her white grandchildren who are BLOOD! Pictures are up, but she favors the brown ones to the others. To me, kids are kids, all need love, and I'm more than happy to give it. I'm sorry your family is like that.
Duckie