so how many other straight people get accused of being gay because ...

[LastKnight]

you support gay marrige? or am i alone? im straight and the person i was talking to knew it, and she goes and calls me queer cause i dont see a problem with gay marrige.

what is it with people who cant understand that im straight but just want equality for others?

-LK

[Mikimouse]

1. You're not alone...

I was an invited guest speaker at a February rally locally and it received pretty wide coverage in the media. One of my ex-wife's friends saw a quote from my speech and promptly contacted her to ask if I was gay. Her reply was "I don't know." I posted about it back in Feb., and got lots of support. It is an issue of civil rights, though, not gay marriage, really, and that is how I presented it at the rally. So, no, you are not alone.

[TreasonousBastard]

2. "Accused?"

Over the years, some people have suspected I might be gay, but when the subject comes up I simply ask them if there is something wrong with being gay.

And why should they care?

Most straights, including myself, really still haven't come fully to grips with modern acceptance of homosexuality. Actual homophobia seems to be on the decline, but there's a lot of confusion about just what "acceptance" means, and how to evolve our social structures and dealings with the changed attitudes.

[pagerbear]

11. I was going to mention that

[TreasonousBastard]

14. J'ACCUSE!!!!!!

Oh, the irony of it all.

Methinks slips in language can cause as many problems as the hate does.

[kodi]

3. you mean you don't understand the dynamics?

you are queer.

queer because in that person's mind sexual behavior between people of the same sex is abhorrent to her. for her, that is the underlying meaning of gay "marriage," it has no connection to love, no connection to rights. it is only connected to wrong. and if you yourself accept wrong, you are not normal, you are queer.

that is about how it was stated to me by an ex-friend who i threw out of my place for verbally attacking a couple of homosexual friends i had invited as guests to a party i held.

[LiberalVoice]

4. I've gotten that before yeah...

I've actually had people ask friends of mine if I was gay because I'm what my female friends call a "Sweet guy".

Man...You're gay if you support gay marriage and you're gay if your nice to girls. Whats this world coming to?

[RoyGBiv]

10. It's not what it's coming to...

It's where it's been. If you think it's bad now, get in a time machine and go back about fifty years. Note: all the complaints about the Beatles and their long hair weren't just a style issue.

I am thought to be homosexual for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that my best friend for the last 20 years is gay. There's also the notion that I'm "too feminine." (I was raised by my mother and grandmother and so naturally picked up so-called feminine traits.) I'm "too nice," "too intellectual," "too sensitive," too just about everything I guess.

My not currently having a job is in part based on this. I was subjected to continual harassment by my immediate superior and one particular person I supervised who was never reprimanded by upper management. (Comments directed at me were things like: "queer lover," "such a woman he needs tampons for his cranky days," "chester the molester," this last because a young gay friend of one my gay friends who works with a support group for gay/lesbian teens was a customer in my store whom I'd talk to in a friendly manner when he was in the store.) I got tired of it, tried to get the big management to do something about it, and when they didn't, I quit. I was then hauled into court on an appeal of my unemployment, which had been granted under a statute defining "hostile environment" in the workplace, and presented with the verdict that I had not done enough to protect my job. The comments directed at me were "inappropriate" but not "illegal" according to the judge since I was not, in fact, gay.

Anyway, sorry for that trip into my personal troubles, but this hit a nerve. One of the last things that happened before I quit was my immediate superior and that other employee going on a tirade of bigoted jokes about what took place at a gay wedding. When I told them to shut up until they were out of my presence, their jokes got turned on me.

So, yes, I don't exactly what you're talking about.


OnEdit: After reading a few other comments, I want to make clear that I care not one whit if someone thinks I'm gay, which is part of the problem. It's simply no one's damn business what I do in my personal life, and I refuse to answer to so-called accusations. I didn't go out of my way to prove I wasn't gay, so they made their assumptions. The harassment, no matter what my orientation, was wrong and should be illegal.

[Radical Activist]

22. How sad that

enough women expect men to be inconsiderate, pushy assholes that they think one who isn't is gay. It makes me wonder if most men are naturally that way and some women feel the have to put up with it or if some women encourage and enable that kind of behavior from men by their expectation of it.

Anyway, in college I was involved in organizing support for making discrimination based on sexual orientation illegal in the state. I'm not aware of any straight people assuming I'm gay, but I did have a couple gay men who did. One of those incidents happened in front of a group of gay and lesbian friends who just had to tease me about it for months. It was pretty funny so I can't blame them for it.

[Cats Against Frist]

5. People on the right only identify with their own demographic/race/culture

so they cannot possibly understand why someone who is not gay would speak up for those who are gay, or that someone rich would speak for someone poor, or that a "gorgeous" woman would be a feminist.

Therefore, they assume that all people who speak out must be jealous, envious, etc. -- a bitter, retaliatory member of the victimized group, and thus, provides the only rationale for their passion.

This is exactly what separates a person of liberal thought from a person of conservative thought. It's almost square one -- the ability to empathize, which is a highly developed human emotion -- a favorite of the Christ, I'm sure...

[Bertha Venation]

18. Very well said.

Not only do conservatives not empathize with the "less fortunate," and not only can they not understand why it's important to do so, but they see doing so as a major flaw.

Why? If we knew the answer, I doubt it would make a difference. Some people are willing to go to hell rather than admit -- or even entertain the possibility -- that they are wrong.

[fearnobush]

6. She's sees her own sexual insecurity being threatend.

I love it when homophobes say, "what are queer" like comments. I usually reply, "why, do you find me attractive?"

[DeadHead67]

7. F#%& HER ! (tee hee)

You're right! She's not! End of Story. . . .

[physioex]

8. That hasn't happened to me..

But I am secure in my sexual orientation not to let someones comments bother me....

[Ottmar]

9. They are stupid

"what is it with people who cant understand that im straight but just want equality for others?"

So by their logic, gays should condemn hetero marriage if they don't want to be accused being straight. It's the only explanation I can find.

[Misunderestimator]

12. It's just their way to insult you because they don't agree with you...

I would say "Well, thank you very much for the compliment, but unfortunately, I'm not gay." Of course, they'll just then resort to calling you a queer-lover. Bigotry knows no bounds.

[jdonaldball]

13. Here's a good way to respond

Once I was out having a few beers, alone, just listening to a good band. Two guys (just two guys, together, awww...) asked me if I was gay. (No. Not last time I checked.) In some places, just being a reasonably good looking man, alone, and not hideously loud and vulgar, gives rise to suspicion.
So I said,
"No I'm not gay. But if you're looking for some, I can tell you where they cruise! Now, just go a few blocks south, to xxx street, and..."
"NO! We're not gay!" they said.
"Hey, it's ALRIGHT," I said, "I have nothing against gays. And you two guys are together tonight, with no women, so it's obvious to me. So, no offense taken, guys. I'm flattered that you thought I was cute!"
So they went away muttering.
I was ready to fight if necessary (I outsized them both), but isn't it so much sweeter to break their minds instead of their bones?
That's how to deal with the situation. :-)

[eyesroll]

15. I got this quite a bit when I was teaching, and I wouldn't allow

certain terms in my classroom.

I once wrote up a kid for calling another "faggot." He asked me, "Why do you care? Are you a lesbian or something?" I responded, "I'd write you up for using the n-word, and I'm not black. I'd write you up for using a religious slur, and you have no idea what religion I practice. I don't tolerate hate speech in my classroom, and it doesn't matter whether I belong to the group you're bashing or not."

(He, predictably, accused me of trying to impose my views on him. I told him it was a free country, he could believe what he wanted and hate who he wanted, but he didn't get to spout off about it in my classroom.)

(I'd stay away from the "accuse" terminology here -- an accusation implies something criminal or bad. I'd go with "do people believe you are gay?" or something similar.)

[LincolnMcGrath]

16. Here

I Get called a druggie for fighting against manditory drug testing too.

[BiggJawn]

17. Same here. but I also get tarred with the "Universal Brush"

"You're a LIBERAL, ain't you?"

Yep, Equal Pay for Equal Work, reproductive rights, father's rights, gays rights, no drug testing without probable cause, all that stuff.
Why do a lot of RW shits think this stuff is "government intrusion" into THEIR lives? Are they saying that they WANT to be able to keep people down? Yeah, I know...

It pisses me off when I go someplace and there's a sign on the door that says "To PROTECT our Guests, we REQUIRE drug testing for our employees..."
What, you've had a problem with drugged-up employees chasing customers around with chainsaws from the garden department?

they tried to pull that shit on me once. "We suspect you might be using drugs..." "Why?" "Well because you're acting strange, you seem more angry..." "Duh! I'm going through a divorce, go figure! If that's all you got, let me give you my doctor's phone number. He'll tell you the medications I'm on preclude me taking 'recreationals'..."

Nothing more was said about it.Dumbasses, they KNEW they didn't have a leg to stand on.

[LincolnMcGrath]

19. They want a five hundred dollar "limit"

As just cause. Could be $500 worth of broken machine, $500 in lost production, etc. Oh hell no!

We have a corporate co-CEO who was demoted and given a co-ceo, yet they each make 35, 000 $ US dollars a day, every day.

Our plant is so full of managers I call it the Baskin Robbins Building. 31 levels 0f management!

Not uncommon on the weekend to have as many salaried men on the clock as hourly! For them to pull this phantom figure ($500)out of their ass is not surprising, yet it is also not equitable.

Not having parts in stock, because some frontline super wants to keep costs down, and simultaneously get a a feather in is cap, CAN CAUSE $500 DOLLARS A SECOND.

Having to shut production down for a shift/day because not enough manpower was scheduled, for reasons liking to those above, or not, can costs hundreds of thousands per day in lost production. Where is the accountability for everyone?

[Bertha Venation]

20. me too, for believing we ought to legalize and/or decriminalize some drugs

:eyes:

[Nikia]

21. It helps to be married

My husband and I went to a college where acceptance and tolerance of gay students was a college policy and pretty well accepted by most students, especially women. Even the campus Christian group wrote an editorial against an off campus Christian antihomosexual group coming on campus and distributing hate literature.
Now, we live in a very conservative area in terms of gender issues and homosexuality. Many people speak against homosexuality or make fun of homosexuals. I did not speak up initially because I already feel as though I am in a hostile environment as an outsider and a female feminist. Recently though, I have made comments. They look at me and say "Oh". I have even made references to having gay friends. So far, I am not aware of any rumors at work that I am lesbian.

[Bertha Venation]

23. I'm gay, but can I offer what I think anyway?

I think liberals are accused of being anything that the radical right considers "wrong." Example: Members of the radical right wouldn't smoke pot, so liberals automatically do.

They think (I use the word loosely) that our standards, our morals, our Values(C), are less rigid than theirs. Well, they're probably right that we're less rigid. But that doesn't mean that, as they assume, we are amoral.

Boy, I'm having a hard time articulating my thoughts today. Let me try this:

It doesn't suprise anyone (not just conservatives) to learn that I'm liberal, because I'm gay. But conservatives go farther: I'm liberal. Well, of course I am: I'm gay. And I've probably had at least 500 sexual partners, and I probably have an STD, and I've probably had abortions, and I probably do drugs -- or at least am an alcoholic -- and surely I don't go to church, and if I do it's because I feel guilty and am looking for salvation from my sinful lifestyle.

. . . I still can't get across what I mean. Sigh. But at least I've made my voice heard.

[lojasmo]

24. I've been called a "fag lover"

Though it's not the same thing, I suppose.