Little Friday humor

[russian33]

An Israeli doctor said "medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor said "that's nothing!". In Germany, "we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor said, "in my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks".

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah!". We took an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country was looking for work the next day."
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This lady always wanted an expensive car -- a status symbol to drive around and be seen in. She scrimps and saves, goes to the dealer, and plops down several years income for a brand new state-of-the-art, computer enhanced, kick-ass, dream mobile. She's driving off. Decides she wants some music and searches for the radio. The dashboard looks like a control panel at NASA.. She fiddles with this button, that gizmo... jiggles these and those, but finally gives up. Can't find the damned thing.
Furious, she races back to the dealership and screams at the salesman. Tells him they forgot to install the radio.
He assures her it's right there in front of her. It's hooked into the onboard computer. All she has to do is tell it what she wants. He demonstrates: "Classical", he says. click the car fills with the sounds of Paganini.
"Blues", he says, and click a B.B. King classic plays. =
She drives off amazed. "Country", she says, and click a Tex Ritter tune comes on. "Folk" click Joan Baez sings about the night they drove ol' Dixie down. "New Age" click Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on.
She's so captivated by this new toy that she isn't paying much attention to the road. Another driver runs a light and cuts her off.
"ASSHOLE!" she screams. click "Good morning, everyone. You're listening to the Rush Limbaugh Show."
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Linda Tripp and and Ken Starr were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car.
Ken tried to avoid it but couldn't.
The cow was killed.
Linda told Ken to go up to the farmhouse and explain
to the owners what happened. About an hour later he staggered
back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a
bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in
the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Linda.
"Well," Ken shyly replied "the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife
gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad
passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Linda.
Ken replied: " That I was giving Linda Tripp a ride, and I just killed the cow."

[jeff30997]

1. Lol! Thanks,i needed a good laugh.