Whenever a fanatical christian says "God bless you" to me...

[HEyHEY]

I always feel like saying "I'd rather he didn't"

I want to think of a good comeback to that phrase - any ideas?

[22181]

1. ... Well if you go away, then he has...

How about that one?

Or: "Like the way he's 'blessed' you? No thanks."
Or: "No thanks, I'm hoping to get to the front of the line for Hell." (My personal favorite.)

[HEyHEY]

2. HAHA ALL GOOD!

[Hoping4Change]

11. "the way he blessed you?." retort is hysterical.

Thanx for the laugh. BTW welcome to DU. Glad you're here.:bounce:

[22181]

21. Thanks!

It's good to be in the company of like minds for a change... :) Though I do believe the winds of change are a' blowin' here near the Capitol beltway... So perhaps there are more of us than I thought.

[Mojambo]

3. Just pick any non-christian deity to bless them with

and the more potentially offensive the better.
That's what I do.

[HEyHEY]

8. "May Zuel keep you well!"

[fudge stripe cookays]

49. "Are you the keymaster?"

"I'm the gatekeeper!"

[Cats Against Frist]

16. Speaking of multigods

One thing I've been hearing lately is people refer to "Allah" as a separate god from "The God Almighty."

This, as I suspect, is a side-effect of the GOP Civil Church of Mammon and the Fake Jesus -- people who claim to be "Christians" are simply worshipping some hybrid politicized GOP religion -- I mean, how else can you explain their obvious rejection of the teaching of Jesus Christ?

Trying to explain how God God created the "A-rabs" is too confusing, and un-easily-explainable. So, now there are two gods: "their" god, and "our god," and "our" Gods are at war with each other.

I'm serious -- this is some kind of new development. I suspect real followers of Christ are few and far between, and most of them are on the liberal side of the dividing line.

When I questioned my father about his support of the amendment to ban gay marriage, he said to me: "Don't you read your bible?"

This is a man who has never read a word in the Bible in his entire life -- and further, I have never been inside a church with my parents, unless it was a wedding or a funeral.

Weird, eh?

[Bertha Venation]

58. "Allah is not God" is new? Not in my lifetime . . .

I used to be a fundy. Any non-God-of-the-Bible deity that anyone worshiped was a false god. Allah -- NOT God. According to fundies, the Allah worshiped by Muslims is not the same God of the Bible that they worship. Allah is a false god, they say.

Moreover, the Greek/Roman gods are false gods; astrologers follow Satan, a false god; the Hindu gods? false, false, false; Isis? false god . . . .

I agree with your suspicion that "real followers of Christ are few and far between . . ." because "real" followers of Christ don't make themselves known.

BTW -- DIG your user name!

[Cats Against Frist]

98. Sorry if I was fuzzy

What I meant to say was that they speak about it as if both Gods exist -- as if there's an Allah AND a Christian god...

[nickgutierrez]

63. "May Allah be with you"

If they're that big a fundie, they'll be infuriated, and they'll have no clue you just referenced the same god they did.

[Mistress Quickly]

4. Thanks?

:shrug:

Do they mean it in a positive way? Why a comeback? If they said Good Karma, or Good Vibes, or Goddess Bless You, would you want to express a comeback to those too?

[HEyHEY]

7. Nope - by accepting their blessing I am accepting their religion

I don't accept religion. I don't need their pretend god to do anything for me.

[jdsmith]

25. If you don't accept religion, then why bother?

Why does it get you worked up if someone sincerely offers God's blessings?

Note that I am not saying any-damned-thing about the hate-filled fundies who use "God bless you" and "I'll be praying for you" as their equivalents of "Fuck you" and "Up yours." But your last response makes me wonder what you mean by "religious fanatics"--zealots with tracts who come banging on your door on Saturday mornings? or anyone who "accept religion" and finds something in a "pretend god" that makes her or his life better?

[HEyHEY]

29. I've never been told "god bless you" by someone who wasn't a fanatic

Maybe it's where I live, but the only people that say that are the town kooks.

[jdsmith]

35. Okay. Then scream back "Fuck you and your so-called God!"

No need to be witty with "town kooks." Clever comebacks go right over town kooks' heads.

[TXlib]

39. Actually

I know a few people who say "God bless you" and "I'll pray for you" as proxies for "fuck you" and "up yours". I wouldn't characterise them as hate-filled. Actually, for them, it's not a bad way to express anger without ratcheting up the conflict.

[XNASA]

5. "And may Allah shower you with peace & blessings."

That oughta shut 'em up.

[MissMillie]

6. How about....

"thank you."?

They really believe they are wishing you well. Why not just accept the compliment?

[HEyHEY]

9. It's just so hard to do so.

They creep me out.

[MissMillie]

10. Well,....

I'm not fanatical about anything, and I wouldn't even call myself a Christian.....

.... but I still hope God blesses you.

[HEyHEY]

13. You tryin' a start a fight?

[MissMillie]

15. Nope

Just wishing you well.

[HEyHEY]

17. how dare you!

[MissMillie]

22. Yeah, I know...

.... of all the nerve!

[Mojambo]

20. Then SAY "I wish you well"

No need to bring god into it at all...

[MissMillie]

24. No need to be so offended by others' beliefs

The person isn't invoking you to follow them.

[TXlib]

12. I'm a pretty outspoken atheist

But I take "god bless you" the way it's likely intended -- general well-wishing.

No need to be a prick about it.

[MissMillie]

19. Precisely

When people mean you well, accept it.

When someone does something civil and others respond with a smart-assed comeback, why would anyone ever be civil again?

[LiberalVoice]

68. But more times then not...

when they find out I am an atheist they say god bless you in a demeaning way. Almost to say I am less then them because I don't have "The Faith". They do it because they think I am lost.

It would be the same in thinking that I should be nice to a conservative because they think I'm a fool for being a liberal.

[MissMillie]

80. That would be rude

In which case we're not talking about someone who has good intentions.

[Mojambo]

Again, there are dozens of ways to wish a person well

without bringing your religion into it. It's presumptuous and unnecessary.

[MissMillie]

28. Not everyone who believes in God

has a religion.

And again, if someone is wishing you well, why be picky about how they go about doing so?

[TXlib]

36. If they wish you well in a tradition that is not yours

Then return the well-wishing in your own fashion.

Would you be just as offended if a pagan said "blessed be" or "goddess bless", or if a muslim wished you well in islamic tradition?

Maybe you would if you're a militant atheist, but most people I've encountered who claim to be atheists are really anti-theists, and hold particular animus toward Christianity.

[Az]

52. Here is my response for some

When someone offers me "God Bless You" at the end of a conversation I counter with "And may reason be with you".

For sneeze blessings I counter with "That doesn't work on me" and then offer them as a joke the atheist response to a sneeze "Sneeze Acknowledged".

You don't need to beat them into the ground for their pleasantry. But you can nudge them a bit to let them know that there are other views out there. Its an opening to widen their horizons or open a new discussion. Use it wisely.

[Mojambo]

64. Very wise suggestions.

My thing is that I want to make sure they don't keep doing it. It's not like I'm going to jump down the throat of someone who says it to me the first time.
If they keep doing it despite my discomfort with it then I tend to get aggressive.

[TXlib]

111. HAHAHA... "Sneeze acknowledged" I love it!

[Az]

50. I try to use humor

I do not wish to simply let it go. But at the same time it clearly is meant as a pleasantry and not meant as an nefarious indoctrination. None the less I use it as an opportunity to let people know that theism is not the only game in play.

[landdaddy]

14. and

"may Odin bless you!" he's my favorite god of god's :evilgrin:

[Lavender Brown]

18. I say it reflexively when people sneeze

I'm hardly religious. Of course, those people who ask you if you've found Jesus yet are a different matter (shudder).

[MissMillie]

31. I usually just say "Bless You"

[Mojambo]

38. You should start saying "You're sooo good lookin!"

when somebody sneezes. It's much better.
;)

[Lavender Brown]

40. I'll try that. LOL.

[redwitch]

42. LOL I miss Seinfeld!

Hubby and I said that to each other for a long time after that episode.

[MissMillie]

46. We sometimes do that in my house (n/t)

.

[johnnie]

23. I think "thank you" is ok

It's not accepting their religion, it is acknowledging their attempt at wishing you well. Now, if they spit on you and kicked you in the head then said "You better believe in the God I believe in or I will cut your throat". then I might try to figure out a way to have a comeback.

[Speck Tater]

26. Just say "Thank you." and prove your the better person. (nt)

[redwitch]

27. as a non-fanatical Christian I must say

God Bless HEyHEY- :-) Seriously, never turn down kind thoughts/vibes directed at you from anybody. You don't have to be a subscriber to appreciate kind intentions, do you? If the blesser has been attempting to shove his/her religion down your throat, that is a different story.

[HEyHEY]

32. I look at saying "God bless you" as shoving it down my throat

:shrug:

[Speck Tater]

87. Then you have an attitude that will not be helpful to you.

Nothing makes a religious zealot more objectionable than pressure from a zealot of the opposite polarity.

Tolerance breeds mutual respect and peace. Intolerance breeds the opposite.

By smiling and saying "Thank you" you spread a little more tolerance in a world badly in need of that commodity. Anything other than that is an attempt to shove your own ideology down their throat, and increases the intolerance level.

[Mojambo]

33. I see nothing wrong or offensive about declining to accept a "blessing"

Depending on your personal beliefs a blessing could be very offensive.

I know what their intentions are and frankly I don't care. It's an innapropriate thing to say unless you know the person you are saying it to is a christian or believes in a christian god.

[Carni]

30. I keep getting "Have a blessed day"

I get this "Blessed day" business quite often...(What IS that BTW?)

I always want to say "I haven't had a blessed day since that asshole took office" but so far I haven't had the nerve!

[MissMillie]

34. Really?

you can't just accept the remark on the basis of good intention?

I think that's kinda sad.

(on edit: this was supposed to be a reply to Mojombo #33)

[Mojambo]

41. I will accept the remark when they phrase it in a manner

that doesn't offend me spiritually.
I don't think I'm asking much.

[MissMillie]

43. Just out of curiosity

If a co-worker went out to the coffee cart and brought you back coffee, when you like tea, would you be offended at that too?

You don't have to drink it, but you can say thank you and appreciate the thought.... right?

[HEyHEY]

Coffee and tea aren't deep spiritual beliefs

[MissMillie]

75. Right, but

my question was about focusing on intent, not substance.

Remember the old saying "It's the thought that counts"?

[Mojambo]

57. I don't drink Coffee or Tea

and my co-worker knows it. But my co-worker thinks I should drink coffee and she's always bringing it to me anyway. So I'm kind of beyond the point where I'm going to thank them for continuing to bring me something to drink.

The point is that I'm not thirsty so stop bringing me something to drink! lol

In all seriousness you make a decent point. Certainly things would be more pleasant if I buried how I feel and let people wish me all their bogus religious wishes. I'm not going to do that though. I'm going to speak up and tell them that it makes me uncomfortable. I appreciate that they wish me well but in the future they'll need to leave god out of it

[Az]

48. Consider this

Suppose everytime you sneezed someone said "Be joyous as there is no god". Would you take their words as the good intent they meant them by or would it start to grind on you after a while?

[MissMillie]

51. You don't see a difference between

"Be joyous as there is no god" and "God Bless You"?

I think one is not a statement of well wishing, but a command to believe the way that you do.

The other is more of a "I believe in God and hope he does right by you" kind of statement.

[Az]

55. Joyous

I am joyous that there is no god that created hell for me to suffer in. I am joyous that life arose through nature and that I came to know the world through nature.

The point here is that some do see the absense of god as a good thing. And you are exactly demonstrating the lock that occurs in the mind when someone offers you a glad tiding from a perspective that may be completely alien to your position.

[MissMillie]

76. Not everyone who believes in God

believes in Hell.

[Carni]

53. LOL!

That just cracked me up--it would make a good SNL skit!

[TrogL]

37. "Blessed be"

Isn't that the wican greeting?

[Az]

44. My response: That doesn't work on me

Techincally it doesn't as I have committed the one sin that is unforgivable.

Mk.3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.
Lk.12:10 But unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.

So it really doesn't work on me. I appreaciate the sentiment but its really not necissary.

[sybylla]

45. I often say, "It won't help"

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell anyway."

Being an atheist, I'm pretty sure as far as most xtian's are concerned that is exactly where I'm going.

[HEyHEY]

47. I'll meet ya in the beer garden

:-)

[sybylla]

54. Only if you're buying Bock

None of that wussie Honey Weiss for me.

[HEyHEY]

56. It's hell - all the beer will be good

[Mojambo]

59. My problem is that I like my beer COLD

So there better be a damn good freezer down there.
Eternity is a fairly long time you know...
:evilgrin:

[HEyHEY]

60. Hey, with all the work we've been doing for Satan - he owes us that

[ProfessorGAC]

61. I Just Say "No Thank You"

The Professor

[DrWeird]

62. I say:

"Save it for the cross-burning, Adolf."

[Mojambo]

65. LOL

Subtle. I like it.

[BigMcLargehuge]

66. Who? Bless? What now?

that's my standard response.

if it's following a particularly powerful sneeze, I say

A shame God didn't heal my allergies

[Ithuilwen]

67. How about "namaste"?

Pronounced NAH-mah-stay.

It's Hindu, and I think it means something to the effect of "I honor the place in you in which the universe resides". As I understand it, it's accompanied by pressing your hands together in front of you (prayer-like) and bowing.

On the same page, I hate it when people say "God bless you" when I sneeze. I'm always careful to say "Gesundheit" (sp?). It means "Good health".

[GoddessOfGuinness]

70. I like that idea...

It might make them want to look up the word...

[MissMillie]

79. I like it too

And if I can get "You are soooo good looking" out of my head, I'll use it.

[Book Lover]

69. I say "Achoo"

At least that's what I used to say to my mom when she'd sign off from a phone call with "God Bless You." After all, it was my mom; it had to be disarming and witty but not confrontational. When it comes from someone I don't care about (except in the general, Voltaire-esque sense) =, I say "I don't believe in any of the gods, but thank you." I have yet to be further confronted after that.

[Nikia]

71. I'm not offended by any blessings

They are wishing you well in the way that they find most effective or appropriate according to their own beliefs. Accepting those blessings does not mean that you subscribe to those beliefs.
In my home area, it tends to be mainline Christian religious elderly women who say that to total strangers. These are the type that would let you use their grocery store discount card if they are behind you in line or spending hours trying to return your wallet if you lost it. It isn't nice to be rude to them.

[sybylla]

73. And I'm not that kind?

I'd let others use my discount card and I'd spend hours returning another's wallet. And yet no one seems to consider that the automatic response to a sneeze in this country is rude to non-believers.

Turn the other cheek only works for REALLY good xtians.

[MissMillie]

77. It's rude to wish someone well?

since when?

[sybylla]

85. see post 83 n/t

[nini]

72. while I understand your lack of belief in God..

sounds like you're wanting to insult someone who is only wishing you well not trying to convert you. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people that use that phrase aren't really all that religious themselves.

If you want to go after the religious fanatics I think there are probably hundreds of other ways to get your point across.

[sybylla]

74. As others have pointed out

its not about insulting, its about educating. Though for many xtians, I doubt they'd recognize the difference and be offended anyway.

[MissMillie]

78. I'd be offended if you demonstrated

that you thought I needed to be educated, simply because I tried to wish you well.

[sybylla]

83. If sweet little old white haired ladies

want to remain ignorant about the beliefs of a large block of our society, they probably ought to stay home and watch the Game Show channel.

Your arguements, Miss Millie, sound very much like the attitude many had about African Americans. Just be good, don't make waves, pretend there's nothing wrong with the way we treat you and maybe we won't fire you from your job or run you out of town or lynch your son.

If you are offended because of who I am, I don't believe the problem is mine. You are welcome to be as xtian as you wish to me, you can bless me all day. But to expect me to respond in any way less than honest merely out of consideration for your feelings and your desire to live in ignorance is not very xtian.

[nini]

91. African Americans?

You've got to be kidding.. comparing a 'God Bless you' after a sneeze to the hell African Americans have been put through.


:eyes:




.

[sybylla]

95. Nice hyperbole.

No, the attitude that we just have to take it is what I'm comparing it to.

Let's overreact a little more to distract from the point. It's much easier than actually discussing the issue.

[nini]

92. that was my point

if they want to educate me.. then fine. but don't be insulting. I would refrain from ever saying that to someone again if it bothered them. I respect their beliefs as I would hope they would mine to the point they can bring up their issue in a decent manner.

[nini]

90. So, you can insult a someone because you don't agree with them

in your quest to 'educate'? My point is and remains.. if you are offended by the 'God Bless you' phrase, which really isn't religion based but has become a phrase of well wishes, Ok - but to reply in a snappy insulting comeback is uncalled for.

If the person laid hands on you and wanted to heal you.. then go for it, they deserve what you send back.

I doubt there are many people who even think of the religious side of that comment when they say that - they are just being polite.

[sybylla]

94. If someone is insulted by who I am

that is their problem. Apparently all education offends you? Has no one ever enlightened you without insulting you? Wow.

And you're right. I think most people don't think of the religious side of "bless you", or of "good bye" or of many of the things we say flippantly during the course of every day life. They are used thoughtlessly, by the religious and nonreligious without concern for what is really being said. And I don't take offense because someone uses one of those everyday religious phrases. Just as I hope they are decent people who won't be offended when I "enlighten" them as to my beliefs. I was trying to make a point. Rudeness is in the eye of the beholder and innocent statements can often offend, intent aside. The road to hell, they say, is paved with good intentions.

It is a thoughtful person who wields words carefully and who, I've discovered, is rarely offended by my attempts at enlightenment.

[SOteric]

81. I know a curmudgeonly old priest who always responds:

Well, - you'll be leaving then.

[Ivan Zero]

82. One that I've often used

"Which god?"

This gets quite a variety of reactions.

[JanMichael]

84. Is it wrong of me to get miffed at "Have a Blessed Day"?

I think it's presumptuous, arrogant, annoying and pushy. I'd like to say "Thanks, you have a Miserable fucking day, BYE!".

[HEyHEY]

86. not wrong at all

THey can shove that blessing where it don't shine!

[ScreamingMeemie]

100. No. To me, it's just sad...when there is so much more important stuff

to get angry about in this world. Again, I think we are a little over the top here.

[Speck Tater]

88. As the Buddha would say...

you are not offended because of what someone else said. You are offended because you are offendable. That's YOUR problem, not theirs.

[DarkPhenyx]

89. And may the Goddess smile upon you and yours.

It usually works for me, unless I have run into one of the "comparative religion" types.

[RetroLounge]

93. I usually respond

"He already has, he made me an atheist..."

RL

[ScreamingMeemie]

96. I think you should just leave it be and move on. I say God Bless You

to people. I look at it as me practicing my belief system, not forcing you to accept it. I think sometimes people get a little too serious in taking offense to stuff. Half the time it is said off the cuff. I'm not a fanatical Christian. What would you say to me? :hi:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

97. I'm a liberal Christian and I hate having people say it

as a response to a sneeze.

It's really weird, but even though Oregon is the least religious state in the nation, "bless you" as a response to a sneeze was nearly universal, more so than in the more religious state of Minnesota.

It was actually annoying, because I have bad allergies, and sometimes I sneeze a lot, so if a sneezing spell happened in public or when I was with someone, each and every sneeze in the series would be echoed with, "Bless you."

It was hard for me to say anything about this, because the people actually meant well. Once I explained to one of these serial "bless you" people that the custom originated in a medieval superstition about being susceptible to the devil during a sneeze. She just looked kind of bewildered.

Otherwise, people who say "God bless you" as an expression of gratitude are often elderly people who genuinely do not understand that the culture has changed. (This is sort of like my mother thinking that being gay is caused by not having met enough attractive people of the opposite sex.)

I'll tell you a story by way of analogy. Back when I was in college, the old custom of referring to grown African-American men as "boy" was becoming unacceptable. Two black students at my college went out to shovel snow to earn some extra money. They shoveled the walk of an elderly woman who lived alone, and when they finished, she said, "Would you boys like to come in for some cookies and cocoa?"

One of the young men was about to say something about her terminology, but the other grabbed his arm and said, "Yes, that would be nice."

As they were sitting in the living room while the woman got the cookies and cocoa ready, the second student explained that she was no racist, because she had let two young black men into her house, and that she was just behind the times. (I heard this story from the girlfriend of one of the young men.)

I also recall when the newspaper of the small Oregon town I lived in interviewed some of the non-Christians (Jews, Bahais, Wiccans, atheists) to see how they reacted to Christmas celebrations. Most of them said that they simply responded to wishes of "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays." They recognized that most people who said "Merry Christmas" were simply not thinking rather than trying to proselytize.

[ScreamingMeemie]

99. You'd hate hanging around with me then I guess.

It was how I was raised and you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Really I think we're taking it too far in this instance. :hi:

[Eye and Monkey]

101. "Hmm...did I sneeze and not notice it?"

[testing123]

102. I write it on everything

I am not sure If I believe in God and it could mean any God.

I hate it when I am outside a store and someone is hitting me up for cash and I don't have any (I usually give it) and then they say "God Bless You". :grr:

[NNadir]

103. I try to see a positive.

I am very sensitive to the oppression (and there's no other word for it) of atheists on a macroscopic (or official) scale.

Still, although I am an atheist myself, I have dearly beloved family members who are very religious, including my late mother, my late father, and my magnificient, generous and kind stepmother who is a very devout Catholic. In cases like these I choose to retain the last morsel of my Christian upbringing and "turn the other cheek." I don't think it hurts me nearly as much to graciously accept her "blessings" as it would to hurt me to trash my stepmother's good feelings and loving intent.

[JVS]

104. May the power of Christ enter your life and make you whole, HEyHEY

:-)

[sus]

105. how about "fuck off!"

how do you know they're fanatical?

I usually say "bless you" to people when they sneeze. I guess it's a habit. figure it's the polite thing to do. my dad usually grabs people, places his hands on their head and yells, "DEVIL BE GONE!"

he usually gets a relatively positive response.

[Az]

106. I have literally been exorcised

Both online and by a street preacher. I think in comparison I can place "Bless you" a bit lower of an intrusion on the grand scale of things. Sometimes the best route to deal with such matters involves humor. :D

[sus]

107. I say "bless you" to an agnostic friend of mine and she never complains.

of course, she also lives in fear of my wrath..so there ya go.

[Corgigal]

108. I have said

No, GOD should have better things to do.

The blesser pauses and as no response.

[Corgigal]

109. I have said

No, GOD should have better things to do.

The blesser pauses and has no response.

[Commendatori]

110. He already did, I had sex with Sandra Bullock last week, but thanks.

My boss uses this, but the celebrities vary. I think he's using Angelina Jolie this week.