I have questions that NEED answers...

[WillParkinson]

Tell me this....

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight
packages?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

[DoverFrank]

1. Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

"If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?"


"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? "


Those are great!

[theivoryqueen]

2. I think I'll try the crotch thing at the next fancy gathering I attend.

and the dog could also be called a Shitdog - if it were smallish.

[mac56]

3. Why don't "priceless" and "worthless" mean the same thing?

What's a synonym for "thesaurus"?
What if there were no rhetorical questions?

[MissMillie]

4. Why are certain structures

called "buildings" even when they're finished? Shouldn't they be called "builts"?

[eyesroll]

5. Ooh! Ooh! I know the water one.

The water itself doesn't expire.
The packaging does -- plastic isn't designed to last forever (even though takes that long to biodegrade). After awhile, the plastic will start eroding. That's also why you see expiration dates on acidic condiments and honey -- honey literally lasts forever (they've pulled edible honey out of pyramids), vinegar almost as long, but their packaging is ephemeral.

And for the record, I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.

[mac56]

6. If Seven-Eleven is open all night, why are there locks on the doors?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
A Thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. How does it know?
Why are they still called "escalators" and "elevators" when they go down?

[WillParkinson]

9. Seven Eleven...

A friend of mine went to a 24 hour convenience store as the clerk was locking the doors. She said, "Your sign says you're open 24 hours." "Yes," he replied, "But it doesn't say in a row."

[mac56]

10. I went to Seven-Eleven..

and asked for a two-by-four and some three-by-fives. The clerk said, "Ten-four." - Steven Wright

[DS1]

7. Why are the worst drivers in the country driving tow trucks.. What,

do they get passed on after accidents?

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

8. In Brazil there IS an answer to the second question

There is an explicit depth limit written in law. Everything below that "belongs" to the government.

In particular, you don't get to keep oil unless it oozes to the surface or very near it. All oil deposits are way below that limit.

Precious minerals are another matter. There have been quite a few gold rushes in Brazil in recent history.