Mom's I need help with a 4 yr old.

[Momof1]

A few weeks ago, my daughter saw a sticker outside of Spiderman. Last week my hubby got a case of Dr. Pepper with Spiderman on it. And put it on the porch. She kept pointing to it saying "Spiderman is on the porch"

2 days ago we put the soda in the refrigerator. My daughter is flipping out. She refuses to go into the kitchen, "Spiderman is in the refrigerator"

Now she doesn't want to go to the bathroom, because my hubby left a empty can of Dr. Pepper in there.

So I got rid of the can, but what do I do now?

I've tried to explain to her that Spiderman was a good guy. And he is a cartoon, the same as Blue & Dora. But she goes ape shit now at the sight of a Dr. Pepper can. And any site of Spiderman.

She runs out of the room screaming...

I think she is thinking that Spiderman is invading our home, and she is very afraid of him (I think it is his eyes, that scare her so bad)

Any suggestions?

I really don't want to go out and rent the movie. I think that is a bad idea. Forcing her to watch spiderman might make it worse.

I don't know what to do.... HELP

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Hide the cans

and have your husband drink the Dr. Pepper out of a glass.

[Momof1]

3. When is that movie coming out this summer?

If I have to go through this everytime she sees Spiderman I am going to go nuts...

Thank you for your reply. :)

[greatauntoftriplets]

7. Sorry, no clue about when the movie will be out.

I'd guess about the time school gets out for the year. Usually a lot of kid-oriented movies open then.

[Unperson 309]

26. Give Her Her Own Weapons...

Teach her to deal weith her fears by asking her some questions and working with her to devise her own defenses.

Here's how.

Ask her (when she is in a calm mood) to describe Spiderman to you.
"Honey, since I heard Spiderman is all the way over in China today, could you describe him for me so I would know what he looks like if I see him?" Something like tyhat, indicating he's not nearby.

then "What do you think he is afraid of? What could hurt him? Who is his enemy?" and listen carefully to what she says. This is key.

Let's say she says "Spiderman's afraid of frogs! Frogs chase him away!" Or dinosaurs or clowns or policemen...

Then you say "Would you like to find a nice big friendly frog (or dinosaur oretc) to be your friend and chase Spiderman away?"

Take her to a toy store and find a large stuffed frog or doggie or whatever she identifies in the store that will scare Spiderman. Be unhurried. Hsve her look around the store. "Tell me, Honey, do any of these stuffed animals look big enough to scare Spiderman?" You could have her ask each toy if it wanted to defend her. Buy the one she identifies as her protective helper.

What this does is give the power to scare the "monster" away into HER hands and imagination. Once you find the right toy, allow her to carry it with her wherever she feels the need to. do NOT laugh at her fears or try to explain them away, just reassure her, "Sweetheart, I know you feel that Spiderman is in your bedroom, so let's take Charlie (or whoever her guardian toy is) and put him in there first, OK? Spidey will run away then, and you can go in."

Eventually, she will outgrow this fear as she learns that the world isn't as scary as it seemed at first, but if you don't take her fears seriously, she will feel that you can't be trusted to really listen to her when it's so terribly important. It's like that feather in the Dumbo film. The stuffed toy is her key to mastering her own fears herself.

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[SarahB]

2. Maybe try to get ahold of an old cartoon

They're pretty harmless and may assuage her fears. The movie though would probably be a bit too scary though.

[Momof1]

9. I was thinking about that, but I have no idea how to get

the old cartoons. I guess I could try ebay. But she really is driving me nuts. This is the first time she has been afraid of something.


When I was her age, it was the Witch in the Wizard of Oz, but I only had to watch that once a year. The marketing for the new Spiderman movie is going to drive me bonkers if I don't fix this fast.

[blm]

12. Animated Spiderman is available at Kmart.

.

[Momof1]

19. thanks,

:)

[Nite Owl]

4. Remove all evidence of Spiderman.

This will pass. One day you will all look back on this 'stage' and laugh. It really is just a stage. Kids do the strangest things!

[burned]

5. 4 yr olds

I wouldn't act like its a big deal.
I'd make the whole thing as boring as possible.

good luck :)

[Scairp]

6. I agree

Nothing you can do but ban Spiderman from the house until she outgrows it. And she will outgrow it, probably in a few months. Maybe you could show her a picture of Tobey Macguire as just himself so that she can make the connection that he is just a regular guy wearing a costume.

[silverlib]

8. This is what I would do...

I don't profess that this is the correct way to handle it, but she is four and somehow this has to be handled on a four year-old level. I would let her help me rid the house of Spiderman. I would take all the cans, full or empty, with her by my side. to the outside trash man and on trash day, I would let her watch the trash man take them away. I would walk through the house and show her how Spiderman is no longer there. I wouldn't give up on telling her that Spiderman is not real and was a "good" cartoon character.

I went through this with my youngest, who till this day, at age 15 hates clowns. She, of course, now knows that they aren't supposed to be scary, but because she was scared at a young age, she will never love them as much as many children. She's not too crazy about Santa Claus, either.

Good luck.

[Momof1]

14. Thank you,

but with the movie coming out soon. This is going to be a very long summer.

And I thought the locusts were going to drive me nutty this year. Now its the locusts & Spiderman. :)

[MrsMatt]

21. Silverlib, I agree that

by allowing the child to help rid the house of the homo-arachnid infestation, it will show her that she has power over Spiderman. By empowering her, the the object of her fear becomes much less potent.

Oh, and I don't care for clowns either - I had a nightmare when I was about four that involved Bozo grabbing me and throwing me into a furnace. God I hate clowns.

[The empressof all]

24. I agree

This is a great way of handling this- Tell your daughter that I am almost 50 and I am uncomfortable around clowns too. Santa I could take or leave as long as I do not have to sit on his lap.

[blm]

10. My three year old LOVES Spiderman.

Mr blm was supposed to take her to the aquarium one afternoon and ended up going to Spiderman. She LOVES him. We had to buy the movie.

You might try the animated versions.

[Fridays Child]

11. Are you afraid of spiders?

Maybe she's picking up on a fear of yours or somebody else's? :shrug:

[Momof1]

16. I hate spiders

a few weeks ago, I told her they were "yucky" And yes I am really regretting that now.

[Unperson 309]

27. You Know, I Hadn't Thought of That...

That connection with spiders! Has she seen Charlotte's Web, yet?
Go rent that film and show her that there are good, kind spiders out there.

If you haven't seen Charlotte's web, it is a good children's animated film. In fact, Charlotte could become sort of a guardian spirit for your little one! After all, she saves Wilbur's life!

Check it out. Also, you can get some of John Acorn's "Nature Nut" videos where he talks about spiders and other bugs and sings songs about them.

At that age it's hard to separate names from things from concepts. To HER a "Spiderman" is probably a spider the size of a man! Or a man that bites like spiders! EWWWW! Just the thought gives *me* the willies! :)

Whatever you do, do NOT introduce her to Batman! EEEEEEK!

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[MuseRider]

13. My youngest son

was terrified of ET, Chewbacca and gorillas. Don't know why but he eventually got over it. I was terrified of clowns, don't know why but I got over it. I don't envy you. What I did was to act very calm. I didn't say he was silly or act like it wasn't important but I did not act like it was a big deal. I think in some strange way that was reassuring to him. I doubt he got over it any faster, who knows. Luck to you. Kids!

[stellanoir]

15. has she ever had an encounter with a real spider. . .?

They're mostly harmless. I'd try to make her laugh about it with the "eentsy bitsy spider" song or the "spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can" song. Have her draw her own spider web as a form of retaliatory protection. And don't get mad at her.

There are some great creation myths involving spiders as well that most kids relate to strongly.

Huge hugs to her.

Good Luck!

[kstewart33]

17. Get everything that has Spiderman on it out of the house

She is a 4-year old. Her fears are very understandable. Don't try to convince her Spiderman is okay. Get it all out of the house. Once she calms down (this will take at least a few days) and no longer feels threatened, you can then begin to talk to her about it.

I am a mother of 6 yr old and 8 yr old girls.

[Momof1]

18. Thank you.

She has never acted like this before. What I am really afraid of is our neighbor with 3 kids, are her play mates. And there's a little boy that has everything spiderman. (Shoes, toys, and an umbrella that she saw yesterday)

If she really is this terrified, I am afraid that she won't want to go over & play anymore.

[DS1]

20. I recommend putting the movie in, skip past the initial bite scene

If she thinks Spiderman is Tobey MacGuire, your problem may solved just that easy.

[rwheeler31]

22. If she is familiar with legos

you may want to check out logo.com, they have preschool games and comic heros that are not as scary.

[burned]

23. ...........

if you act like this is a major concern for you she isnt going to be able to distinguish your worry for her from her huge worry about spidey. it will just give the whole thing more flavor.

its in you best interest to act like its not a big deal and go on about your business so she learns how to handle this stuff rationally.
you can hold her when she screams but dont put any importance on the scared part. laugh it off gently.

and when you get tired of it let her know.

if all else fails offer money or a toy. :) after all its YOUR sanity at stake.

[pintobean]

25. another thought

At first, I thought; take her to a costume shop. Showing her that anyone, including mommy & daddy, can be spiderman may help. Her seeing all the other costumes may create more problems. Perhaps you can rent a spidey costume or mask for a couple hours.