Thank God for Betty Bowers. Without her guidance I would have never been able to pick out the perfect gift for both Former Judge Roy Moore and Ann Coulter. She truly is America's -- nay -- the World's Best Christian.
Read what she had to say here:
http://www.bettybowers.com/perfectchristmas.html----
To: Ann Coulter
Do you have an aging, anorexic, knuckleheaded toxic coquette on your list who has made a profession out of preaching family values but is an unmarried spinster living in the drug and sex infested Sodom of South Beach?
A sandwich.
And the official Peggy Noonan brand Ronald Reagan shrine and personal "tool" kit * (battery available wherever Sears Diehard products are sold, dear).
*Mrs. Bowers is too much of a lady to go into further detail, so don't even ask.
----
To:
Judge Roy Moore
Do you have someone at your workplace who likes to litter the lobby of your building with 5,300-pound religious tchcotchkes?
A three-ounce paper version of the actual Ten Commandants that contains a rather persnickety proscription against idolatry,* which might pertain to worshiping knickknacks like, say, a 5,300 pound mausoleum ornament.
* Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me...
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