ATT: fellow queers

[foreigncorrespondent]

I am currently researching some stuff on our community, and I really can't find the information I am after. So after some long thought I decided I will turn to you all for some help.

I want to basically know what issues concerning our community are important to you. So I have put together a little questionnaire for you to answer in your own time. (Please feel free to add anything in your repsonse that I may have missed)

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Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

Are you still in a cimmitted relationship with that person? (If no please move on)

What country is your partner from?

Have you explored all avenues of immigration to bring your partner to the United States?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you explored all avenues of your immigrating to your partners country?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you all ready moved to your partners country if their country offers same sex immigration? (If no, why not?)

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Please feel free to add your opinions on other important issues like taxation rights, healthcare rights, hospital visitation rights, etc.

Thanks for taking the time to answer this. It will be a great help.

FC

[dsc]

1. Some answers

How important is the right to marry to you?

It is important but admittedly behind both employment non discrimination and child issue. Currently it is more symbolic for me than practical but symbolism is important.


How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

Not at all. As long as the institutions are completely equal a rose by anyother name is just as sweet.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Yes.
Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

I sincerely hope to do so. This is a very important issue.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

I have. I am sober for 3.5 years now. I would like to be for five years before I investigate that option. I will be a bit long in the tooth so to speak but not ridiculously so.


Do you want the right to adopt a child?


Yes. I think I do as a single but not joint with another guy.


Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

No.

Are you still in a cimmitted relationship with that person? (If no please move on)

What country is your partner from?

Have you explored all avenues of immigration to bring your partner to the United States?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you explored all avenues of your immigrating to your partners country?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you all ready moved to your partners country if their country offers same sex immigration? (If no, why not?)

------

[La_Serpiente]

2. My responses

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

Well, it is important, but not "super" important. If this title is bestowed onto same-sex couples, it would be a sign of "respect".

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

I feel that this is very important. More important than the title of marriage. I believe in Incrementalism -- and that we cannot shove rights in at once. For example, there was the Civil Rights act of 1958 - however, it didn't give all of the rights. It wasn't until 1964 did other races and genders have equal rights. Same-sex couples should have the right to equality under the law.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Yes.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

Important. I feel that I should always have that option.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

Yes, I would love to adopt a child.

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

Yes.

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

No

Are you still in a committed relationship with that person? (If no please move on)

What country is your partner from?

Have you explored all avenues of immigration to bring your partner to the United States?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you explored all avenues of your immigrating to your partners country?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you already moved to your partners country if their country offers same sex immigration? (If no, why not?)

[kyrasdad]

3. questionaire

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you? Somewhat

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you? Not very

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it? Yes. It should be noted that the same rights as spouses are given can be given to our partners now, through legal documentation. Granted this can be challenged in court, but more than likely will be upheld. I was with my partner for 11 years, and during that time we had living wills and health care proxies, and wills that spelled out exactly who was responsible for what, and who was to handle what. No, our relationship was not recognized by the state, but the necessary things that one would get should a partner pass away were taken care of through legal documents, beneficiaries, etc. I still think it’s important that gay partnerships be recognized by the state however, even though at this point, I’m quite happy being single with dog.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you? At this point in my life, not very.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child? Yes.

Do you want the right to adopt a child? Now, no. When I was younger, definitely, partner was against it… got a dog instead

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section) Yes

Are you still in a cimmitted relationship with that person? (If no please move on) No

What country is your partner from?

Have you explored all avenues of immigration to bring your partner to the United States?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you explored all avenues of your immigrating to your partners country?

What avenues did you explore?

Have you all ready moved to your partners country if their country offers same sex immigration? (If no, why not?)

[tsipple]

4. Answers from a Straight Guy

For what it's worth.

How important is the right to marry to you?

I believe gays and lesbians should have this right, yes.

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

Doesn't strike me as particularly important. There are plenty of sham "marriages," so I wouldn't be too worried about the label, which really is a religious-based one. It's the rights and obligations that matter.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

I think that's fair. Society has a whole has reason to encourage stable, loving relationships among consenting adults.

How important is adopting a child to you?

It's a tragedy how many children of the "wrong" race and/or with challenges go unwanted. I cannot fathom why some people think permanent foster care is better than placement with any family, as long as it's stable, loving, and capable of support.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?
Do you want the right to adopt a child?

No basis to answer these questions "remotely." Don't know enough.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country?

Does Michigan count? :-)

Seriously, sponsored immigration makes sense to me. My grandfather was sponsored by his aunt many decades ago, and I see no reason why that policy shouldn't extend to same-sex relationships. We are a nation of immigrants, and they add so much to this wonderful country.

(On edit: Corrected minor typo.)

[foreigncorrespondent]

5. Thank you for your opinions...

...I really appreciate hearing from my heterosexual brothers and sisters out there. Especially on immigration issues. :)

[oxymoron]

6. okie

How important is the right to marry to you? Very

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you? Not at all, as long as I have the same legal rights.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it? Yes

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you? Not at all

Have you ever thought about adopting a child? Not at all.

Do you want the right to adopt a child? Yes

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section) Yes

Are you still in a cimmitted relationship with that person? (If no please move on) Yes

What country is your partner from? Mexico

Have you explored all avenues of immigration to bring your partner to the United States? Yes

What avenues did you explore? INS

Have you explored all avenues of your immigrating to your partners country? No

What avenues did you explore?

Have you all ready moved to your partners country if their country offers same sex immigration? (If no, why not?) No, because of employment issues.

[nostamj]

7. answers

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

the 'religious' ceremony matters not one bit to me. the <insert term to define committed, ongoing relationship here>s for same-sex couples must be equivalent to M/F relationships. the technical possibility of producing children should not determine any rights regarding couples.


Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

i want the right but would not take on that responsibility. gay people are often willing to take on the challenges of special needs children that other adoptive parents will not. they understand being unwanted. to deny these children the chance for loving parents because those who would NEVER take on the challenge but believe they can moralize about GAY = MOLESTER (which the FACES say otherwise) is just disgusting.

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

i've known about your story for YEARS. and what you've been through makes me furious. the rhetoric that repeats and repeats that gay folk DEMAND that they have SPECIAL RIGHTS drives me insane.

relax. it's just equivalent human rights.

good luck with your project,

nost

[oxymoron]

8. kick

n/t

[foreigncorrespondent]

9. Kick

:kick: Because I really need the information for something I am working on.

[jumptheshadow]

10. Quick answers before the commute

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

One of my dearest wishes in life.

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

I don't care what they call it as long as we get the same rights.

Eventually almost everybody we're around comes to think of us as married, anyway.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Yes.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

How important would it be to society? We're a great family.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

Yes.

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

Yes.

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

My partner spent her formative years in Ireland but she was born in NY.

However, I know one lesbian couple that went through hell to be together. I am not sharp on all the details but I seem to recall that love letters were involved and that the U.S. refused to let the French half of the couple into the country. The bureaucratic wrangling went all the way up to the PRIME MINISTER of France. (This was before the great war chill.) He made things happen and she's here now. The problems were on the U.S. side.

I know several international couples but I believe the others had green cards before they fell in love. Two or three are now citizens. One couple just bought their first house together.

[Rowdyboy]

11. Okay, though you may be disappointed...

Preface by saying I am in a 15 year, committed, monogamous relationship with my "other half"...

How important is the right to marry to me? Not at all. Even were it legal, I doubt we would. Our wills have been prepared, and the proper medical forms have been filled out to insure we have control over each others medical decisions. A piece of paper issued by the state and signed by a minister would not change my life in any way. I do believe of course, that same sex union (civil unions)should be legal.

How important is calling same sex unions marriage? To me-not at all important. Its a phrase. I can call my relationship marriage if I choose and who's going to argue. If you are referring to having the broader society call my relationship marriage-I don't care what "society" thinks of me and my relationship. Screw 'em.

How important is adopting a child to me? Not if you paid me $1 million. Don't want any rug rats-I'm too selfish. I helped raise 4 younger siblings and thats enough child rearing for me.

No, we have never seriously considered it.

Yes, I think my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters should have that right. I just don't care for it personally.

Can't help you on immigration. My guy is from north Mississippi.

[jumptheshadow]

12. Health insurance

The health insurance issue is all-important to us. I currently get health insurance through her company. But as domestic partners we pay taxes on it. It's considered "extra income."

Her company will only give life insurance for domestic partners if they are managers. I'm 14 years older than her, so we're purchasing some ourselves.

[bearfartinthewoods]

13. you forgot survival benefits from social security

when one partner in a hetro union dies, the other is eligible for an increase in their social security benefit. this also applies to some pension plans.

[Laughing Mirror]

14. Love and Marriage

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

Very important. So important that it is the one major issue determining which presidential candidate I support.

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

Not at all important. Call us whatever you want, but the right to it is an essential right if we are to have equal rights with straights.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Yes.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

Very important. Again, we must have the same rights as married straight people; The same identical rights. Not just some rights. All of them.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

No.

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

Yes yes yes.

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

Yes.

Are you still in a committed relationship with that person? (If no please move on)

Yes.

What country is your partner from?

France.

Have you explored all avenues of immigration to bring your partner to the United States?

All avenues? What avenues are there for those of us who have no money?

What avenues did you explore?

Moved my partner with me to US
partner stayed as long as he legally could
and then he went back to France

Have you explored all avenues of your immigrating to your partners country?

Not this time, because except for the past couple of years I have been living in my partner's country for almost twenty years

What avenues did you explore?

If I live full time with my partner in France I must become a French citizen before we can take advantage of the PACs system here.

Have you all ready moved to your partners country if their country offers same sex immigration? (If no, why not?)

Alas, France's PACs does not offer same sex immigration or child adoption for gay partners.

[jumptheshadow]

16. My friend with the French partner

The partner's parents had to shell out $20K to a lawyer and contact the Prime Minister in order to get her into the U.S.

[foreigncorrespondent]

18. I wanted to address your response personally.

In particular this statement:

All avenues? What avenues are there for those of us who have no money?

Unfortunately there are no avenues to take without money. Sapphocrat and I are in the same boat.

She lost her high paying job in December of 2000. Three years later she hasn't been able to land another job. I am not working, and everything she had put away is gone.

But in relation to same sex immigration and France, I highly suggest you and your partner delve further into that countries immigration policy because by all counts France is one of the 15 countries offering immigration rights to their gay and lesbian citizens.

I grabbed the following for you from the ACLU's letter to the Senate regarding the Permanent Partners Immigration Act of 2003 (see: http://www.aclu.org/LesbianGayRights/LesbianGayRights.cfm?ID=13293&c=101)

Fifteen Other Nations Offer Fair Immigration Laws for Same-Sex Couples

The U.S. lags behind other democracies in extending fair treatment in immigration policies to gay couples. Fifteen other countries currently allow the gay and lesbian partners of their citizens to become permanent residents: Australia, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Israel, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, South Africa, Sweden and the United Kingdom. The United States should extend the same fair treatment to its current and prospective citizens and residents.

I hope in some small way this helps you.

FC

[kayell]

15. My Answers

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?
-Very important, not so much because I necessarily want to marry (I'm not even in a relationship now), but because so many other rights are tied to this one. The legal right to marry would lead to so many other things, and create such a major change in attitudes toward gay relationships, that this is one of my highest priorities.

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?
-Important, I don't want "seperate but equal."

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?
-No, see above. We should be working for the SAME rights that straight people have.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?
-Not important personally, but just as important as marraige. I want equal treatment under law.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?
-No, I'm already a grandmom. ;-)

Do you want the right to adopt a child?
-Yes

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)No

As to other rights - I want the same rights as any straight person in this country has. Imagine that I am black in the 1950s and being asked similar questions, and you will probably know my answers. I refuse to be satisfied with some pseudo-equal status. I refuse to be a second-class citizen.

[rbnyc]

17. bi perspective

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

As a bisexual, I find it particularly amazing that I have one set of rights when I fall in love with one person, and another set of rights when I fall in love with another. My rights, like my sexual identity, shouldn't be determined by my partner.

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

It is somewhat important. I think civil union measures are a step in the right direction. I think that if civil unions duplicate the rights of marriage, that's great. I would like to see it called marriage specifically to bother the people who think the term is sacred. No one is telling me that I can't call my marriage a marriage because we weren't married in a church, and are not religious. People only want to protect the term from those nasty gays. I'd just like to rub their face in it.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Yes.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

This is more important than the marriage issue. Not only do many children need homes, and it makes no sense to exclude gay parents, but many gay families already exist, and the non-biological parent should have the same clrear parental rights and responsibilities from state to state.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

I hope I will be able to get pregnant instead. If we have a second, we'll adopt. But I'm a woman married to a man. We won't face that kind of discrimination.

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

I want the same rights if I were to marry a woman as I have with my husband right now.

Immigration:

Have you ever fallen in love with someone from another country? (If no, please move on to next section)

No.

[TrogL]

19. Reply

Marriage:

How important is the right to marry to you?

I want those people who want to marry, and those churches willing to do it to have that right and capability.

How important is calling unions between two people of the same sex marriage to you?

No other word will do. If it's not "marriage" it's something else and open to discrimination if not now, sometime in the future.

Do you want the right to marry regardless of what they call it?

Contradiction in terms.

Adoption:

How important is adopting a child to you?

There is no reason for gays not to adopt. This is of fundamental importance.

Have you ever thought about adopting a child?

Yes

Do you want the right to adopt a child?

My partner needs to have the ability to adopt my kids in the event of mine or my ex-wife's death.