I fucking hate tightass lawyers oh man I gotta rant...

[noahmijo]

Okay so I am a network tech for a firm that specializes in setting up equipment (computers, servers, ect) for mostly law firms, and I just gotta say fucking lawyers are the biggest dicks when it comes to helping.

If you are a lawyer and you're reading this this is a wake up call if you fall under the type I am describing:

I understand you hate technology but you know what I don't give a shit what fancy law school you went to, when it comes time to understand the tools you need to do your job you should push that lawyer pride aside of yours and listen and listen carefully because people like me are believe it or not, trying to help you save money and save hassle.

A small percentage of them understand this, but mostly I get guys like the jerk I got today who basically gave me that typical smug lawyer attitude after I went outta my way to help him out.

Here's a tip for you people; you get what you pay for, you want cheap shit it will behave like cheap shit.

You shouldn't use your personal computer that you also take home with you that you use at work to screen porn sites (for business purposes)

But anyways I had this guy today who didn't understand that when the onboard LAN on your motherboard goes out, it's gone. Either a PCMCIA ethernet card or a new computer is in your future if you want to get back to work.

I went outta my way to really test this for this guy. untangled all his cords for him even and when I finally finished and said "you know I'm sorry your onboard LAN is just dead I've tried this and that ect..ect.."

His response?

"It worked before YOU came in!"




Now cut to about 20 minutes before that dumbass statement.


The first thing he said to me as soon as I walked into his office was "it's broken it only works some of the time for some reason"


I reminded him of that as soon as he got done blaming me for the cheap shit he just bought.

And I point out that lawyers are cheap bastards because c'mon people you can afford thousands of dollars in exotic art but you can't afford a decent machine-the machine you depend on to do your work.

oh I know you need the image of the art ect for your clientele but tell me is your client more impressed with art they know nothing about or the fact that you never call them and say "this pile of crap I just bought broke so your case has been put on hold"


So I'd just like to say that this so called bigshot lawyer became my bitch within 2 seconds of that stupidass statement he made accusing me of screwing his shit up when in fact it was already screwed up beyond repair and I was just trying to help and make sure he had alternatives.

Last fucking time I try to be nice to any of you people that's it.

And I should point out I am not your stereotypical computer geek. So far 98% of the clients I have worked with-even the ones I secretly hate have praised me and requested me for their services and what's more I don't just fix things for people I educate, I take the time to show people why x problem happened, how they can avoid it again, I even make them laugh when I can.

Quite frankly you types that don't even understand what a desktop or a network cable is or means but ask lots of questions I LOVE you types I am totally willing to sit down with your kind anytime because you at least want to learn and you aren't giving me shit.


But some of you people jesus I can understand why the French invented the guillotine.

Anger Management Diagnosis: Yes I am the cashier.

:rant:

[graywarrior]

1. Doctors are the same way

I used to have to "train" them on the computer years ago at a teaching hospital. What a bunch of assholes.

[Kingshakabobo]

51. My boyfriend works for brain-surgeons. Talk about god complex. nt

[gulfcoastliberal]

67. Because my dad is a highly respected doctor, they don't intimidate me.

When I see a doctor, I DICTATE to THEM exactly what the problem is, and what treatment I expect to be given. Works 99% of the time.

57. exactamundo - doctors have like 2 seconds of patience n/t

[knitter4democracy]

63. Not all of them

My hubby isn't, or he hears about it at home (I have my ways of finding out ;) ).

The younger ones tend to be nicer because they're still so close to being the recipients of all that hazing. The older ones can be nasty, but many are really, really nice.

[Lex]

2. It's not just lawyers . . .

I can guarantee you that.

[noahmijo]

3. I'll triple double dog dare garuntee you you're right

It's just lawyers make up about 80% of the people I have to deal with and about 99% of them are dicks whether they be more liberal or conservative.

[Name removed]

11. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[donco6]

4. My boss had a philosophy about tech . . .

"Computers should just work."

That was her motto. You shouldn't actually have to KNOW or LEARN anything about them, they should just work. All the time. No matter what. And they should just know what it is you want them to do. And if they don't, you are completely justified in saying, "This thing doesn't work."

You ask, "So, did you get an error message?"

"Oh yeah, some thing came up - I got rid of it."

"You didn't read it?"

"Nah, that's what YOUR for!"

How do you combat THAT?

[noahmijo]

5. By giving him a freakin typewriter instead

How these people ever got to be in their positions I really really wonder......look I know learning about technology is hard, in fact it's a lifelong learning process. You ask any tech any REAL tech and even after 20 years they'll tell you they study the industry just as hard as they did 20 years ago.

But this kind of ignorance that is displayed you wonder in fear if this is the route they take when it comes to handling their cars or hell even their children...

[OffWithTheirHeads]

9. they don't care

one of the servant class will fix it for them.

[Neil Lisst]

12. Why can't you be glad they need your services?

Everyone does what they are good at. You are in a specialty. You have a bad attitude for one who should comprehend that computers and their problems are annoying to just about everyone who has to deal with them and the geeks who fix them. You get paid because they can't fix them. Instead of appreciating that, you scorn their ignorance and anger.

Do you really think the AC guy, the plumber, the auto mechanic, or the lawyer has it any different? Everyone deals with people who want something NOW and they want it for FREE.

I don't understand people who piss and moan about their customers or clients. They feed you.

[porphyrian]

46. Bullshit.

Don't apologize for people who feel they can act like assholes to anyone they want just because they're paying for it, and don't say people in the service industry should be happy about it and not complain. In most cases, those people don't feed you, their company pays your company contractually, and they'd pay you whether you got sent to that job or another one.

If you don't understand it, it's because you've never held a shitty-paying service job on the receiving end of that attitude. The guy's complaining on a message board, not enacting legislation.

[EOTE]

69. Agreed.

I do tech support for the FDA and you wouldn't believe how many highly educated people are beneath the level of the typical 6 year old when it comes to computer literacy, and I say that without the slightest bit of sarcasm. It's not the fact that these people are computer illiterate that bothers me, as the original poster noted, I enjoy most of my job and I enjoy troubleshooting issues and teaching people about their problems and how to resolve them. It's how incredibly mean spirited some of my clients are. Some people I support start copping an attitude with me as soon as I ask them their last name. You wouldn't believe how many times I hear "you people" in a derogatory manner. These people call us up for help and quite often treat us like crap. We're told to report hostile clients to our leads, but usually nothing happens to them. We deserve to be treated decently and all too often, that doesn't happen.

[Javaman]

74. Are you in the service industry?

[donco6]

92. The problem is that

my IT staff has a lot more to do than work with someone who can't bother to check if a cable is connected or a printer is plugged in. And because we're a public school, I can't just go out and charge people more money to hire ever more IT staff to fix ever stupider problems. People need to step up and educate themselves about computers and software so that we can devote more money to teachers instead of IT staff.

[SharonAnn]

50. To drive you don't have to know HOW a car works. But if you don't,

you'll probably destroy it because of failure to get maintenance when needed.

You need to know at least some of the basics:
1. If the OIL light goes on, get thee to a service/repair place immediately.
2. If the brakes seem to be failing, get thee to a service/repair place immediately.
3. If the steering doesn't seem to be working right, or suddenly becomes very hard to use, get thee to a repair shop right away.
4. If the engine starts making funny noises, especially clanking sounds, get thee to a repair shop right away.
5. etc.

And, perform regular maintenance (oil changes, etc.) and check your tire pressure regularly.

[crispini]

85. Actually, in a better world, she's right.

Computers SHOULD just work. Ordinary people like your mom or my mom shouldn't have to understand how the computer works in order to operate them. Does your mom know the operating principles of the microwave? Or the toaster? Computers should be just as easy to use and just as bulletproof. </usability rant>

[donco6]

86. A toaster is not a microwave is not a computer.

There's simple, and there's more complex. I agree with those who say a complex piece of equipment like a computer is more akin to a car, whose operation must be studied, observed, and acted upon when signs of trouble appear. I don't think it's reasonable to assume a computer could work like a toaster. I'm not sure I want it to.

[midnight armadillo]

6. I feel your pain

But some of you people jesus I can understand why the French invented the guillotine.

I once did tech support for a dept. full of engineers. I feel your pain. Same attitude of 'blame the guy here to help', but with less art and arrogance though.

I think you'd agree that there are some lawyers/engineers/doctors who are intimidated by all the mysterious cables bunched under the deck, so they bluster and act like shits to cover it up.

[AspenRose]

23. May I add Physicists to the list?

Being in Northern New Mexico I see a LOT of this type and they think they're God's gift to everyone. x(

[midnight armadillo]

43. Hey, I'm a physicist!

Not all of us are bad, I swear it!

[AspenRose]

70. *sigh* Oh, all right....but JUST THIS ONCE!

I'll give YOU a pass ;-)

But, I know YOU know the type I speak of! Exasperating!

I worked as a paralegal for a family law attorney and the clients she dreaded working with the most were....physicists! Wanting wills and trusts drawn up and stuff. I guess they thought because they were so brilliant they could soak up law by osmosis and often acted like they knew more about the law than the attorney did!

[midnight armadillo]

71. You must deal with a lot of theorists

Us experimental physicists are a little more laid back ;-)

ACtually, the high-energy particle theorists are pretty frequently arrogant sons of bitches. The worst prof I had as a teacher in grad school (I sat in on one of his quantum electrodynamics class to see if I wanted to take it) was a particle theorist who got his phd at age 21 or so. He was too smart to teach with notes or stoop to assigning a textbook - his lectures would be brilliant enough, you see. I didn't take the class.

[knitter4democracy]

65. I come from engineers (I was the odd English major).

Yeah, they do that a bit, but worse, they grab onto the thing they do know and are like a dog with a bone.

My dad used to go on and on about how weird grammar rules were and how badly they were taught, most often using the example of adverbs modifying verbs and adverbs. Finally, I'd had it and sat him down and really explained how adverbs are used, and he actually thanked me and shut up about it.

[Gyre]

7. Sigh. What ever happened to "the customer is always right."

Sucks being in a pissing contest with a lawyer don't it?:hi:

Gyre

[SammyBlue]

13. It died with the customer became a dumbass. N/T

[noahmijo]

29. it died when the customers voted they want Wal-Mart type service so they

can "save"

[BiggJawn]

72. It got transmuted into "The customer has a RIGHT to abuse the Help"

And most higher-ups are so focussed on the Awmighty Nickle that they won't say "Hey! Don't talk to my highly skilled employee like that!"

Like the poor guy who works at a home center and has to put up with crap like the customer who wants the sheet of plywood from the BOTTOM of the pile because he thinks it's worth 5% less than the perfect sheet on top of the stack...

[OffWithTheirHeads]

8. The only thing worse than Lawyers

are Republican lawyers! In my 55 years on this earth, I have found lawyers to be the lowest, most despicable insects on the planet. I will not work for them. They always find a reason not to pay, "on legal grounds". Fuck lawyers! They have no morals, no ethics, no concience.

"First thing we do, we kill all the lawyers." I can't remember who said that but they are right. Next thing we do, we kill all the judges! What a self absorbed, arrogant, group of demi-gods who have lost all contact with humanity.

[sleipnir]

17. The quote is from Shakespeare

Henry the VI, part 2 if my memory serves me.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

82. Thank you

I think you are correct and my position still stands.

[Neil Lisst]

18. It was said by a blood-thirsty moron named Dick the Butcher.

And he was saying it because he wanted to rule as a despot.

People who hate lawyers always amuse me. It's such an interesting psychosis.

[Jed Dilligan]

19. In principle, I like lawyers, judges, courts, a system of law

Having dealt with all of the above, I have to say I agree with the OP: FUCK... THEM... ALL. Somehow the system puts too much power into the hands of two few and they become the proverbial pigs. Despite my liberal principle I have never met a lawyer or judge or police officer that I wouldn't like to have tied to a chair.

[Neil Lisst]

21. Every case that wins a little freedom, preserves a little ...

... has an army of lawyers working hard to win that freedom.

[Jed Dilligan]

22. Please remind me

of the last time that happened (significantly).

[Neil Lisst]

24. It happens every day, everywhere.

But you have to be paying attention and informed.

[Kickin_Donkey]

25. And for every lawyer working hard to win that freedom ...

there is another lawyer working just as hard to take it away. So it cancels itself out.

Something tells me you're a lawyer. And judging by your comments in this thread, I bet you're just like one of the sanctimonious twits the OP complained about.

[Neil Lisst]

26. Another one who can't discuss things intelligently, I see.

Your tantrum is silly.

As I said, and as all rational adults know, rants against groups of people are always immature and stupid.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

81. Apparently, you have never been on the recieving end

of dealing with lawyers.

[hopeisaplace]

36. Like "Denny Krane"

from Boston Legal...L.O. frickin' L.
(it's only a damned show, but crap the way he portrays a rabid republican lawyer, breaks me up :rofl:)

[OffWithTheirHeads]

80. Oh hell, I love Denny

This is probably the best thing on T.V. Not that that's saying much but the two things I will spend the time to watch are Boston Legal and Desperate Housewives.

[DefenseLawyer]

40. What kind of work do you do

that you now won't do for lawyers? Obviously you are in a profession of the highest moral and ethical standards and have through your long and repeated contact with those in my profession formed quite an opinion of me, although to my knowledge we have never met.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

79. I do heating and air conditioning

Everything from aunt Martha's floor furnace to Hewlett Packard, The Trans-America Pyramid and General Dynamics. I have met and dealt with enough lawyers to learn that, if the opportunity to screw you arises, they will take advantage of it. You want to argue ethics? Lawyers have no ethics, they have "the law". Is the law some graven image, set in stone? No, the law is a very ephemeral thing, floating in the either. Subject to interpretation by one and all but much better served by those who belong to the "good ol boy network". Sorry, I have been on the receiving end often enough to know that your profession is corrupt, and depends greatly on cash flow to determine guilt or innocence. So sue me!

[DefenseLawyer]

90. A few years ago

my wife and I bought did a major remodeling of our home, which included and entirely new heating and cooling system including all new duct work (as the home had previously had baseboard electric heat). Part of the service agreement included a periodic "inspection" of the system. Although done by the same company, the inspectors were not the same gentlemen that had installed our system, as it was a large regional company. Through what was apparently some snafu, in our case, this annual inspection was scheduled a mere three weeks after the final installation, actually during the time we were moving back in. Imagine my surprise when my wife called to tell me that the "inspector" recommended a complete duct cleaning, all new filters, replacing thermostats, etc. to the tune of a couple of thousand dollars, to a brand new system. The company apologized for the actions of their "new" employee, although it was obvious that this was no mistake, it was a racket. I now know that your profession is corrupt and I am sure that you cheat your customers in the same way every day. That is reasonable for me to assume right?

[Neil Lisst]

10. Rants against entire groups are always lame.

Whether it's against lawyers, judges, cops, principals, unions, blacks, Jews, gays, women, academia, whatever.

How does his being a lawyer matter to the story of a customer who is a dick? Replace "lawyer" with "Jew" or "black guy" and see how stupid it looks.

[SammyBlue]

14. Yeah, yeah, yeah. . .replace lawyer with FReeper and we do the same.

You don't know how stupid you look!

[Bridget Burke]

28. Unless they're Mexican "illegal immigrants"

In that case, they are an army of occupation.

[noahmijo]

33. being black or a woman is not a choice being a jerk-off lawyer is

and so is being lawyer who has some common sense.

[Neil Lisst]

37. Anyone who has to curse in their title isn't very mature.

I suspect that's your real problem.

Low on the totem pole of life, and hating it.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

84. Apparently, you have never had a lawyer as a customer

This is probably a good thing because a lawyer would have found some reason not to pay you for your services.

[Catherine Vincent]

15. Good rant, brother!

I hope Fitzgerald isn't that way! :-)

[noahmijo]

35. Well I'll help set up Fitz even if he's a dick just so long as he nails

the * crime family :)

[kineneb]

16. lawyers and chamber of commerce BoDs

I had to explain the difference between an operating system and a program to the BoD. I am thankfully leaving the office manager job there on Dec. 16. Mind you, I am a musician who understands a bit about computers (ok, I can use the bash shell in Linux), but these folks just did not understand. So, yes, I understand your frustration.

-No I Will Not fix your computer. (I could, but I will not.) I Will teach you how to play the piano.-

[Swamp Rat]

20. LOL!

GREAT rant!!! :yourock:

[Loonman]

27. Why don't snakes bite lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

[Bridget Burke]

30. You mentioned your company serves law firms....

If you served other "industries" you'd have a more well-rounded rant.

But lawyers need a certain "confidence" that might come off as arrogance. Come on, they need to convince juries that their small-time-crook-clients are upstanding citizens. If they're in corporate law, they get to deal with big-time-crooks. They need to feel like they are in control!

Please feel free to rant here. Then go in with a smile & deal with the eejits!

[noahmijo]

32. You know what I agree with you 110%

And I stated earlier in a response that it's not just lawyers, but it just so happens that since they get serviced the most from my firm they are the primary people I have to deal with.

We also do things for banks, architects (I'll tell you those people are just a couple notches up the ladder from lawyers)

Quite frankly my favorite client to work with thus far has been a company that supplies Nurses and Nursing products :)

[slor]

31. I worked for the Help Desk at a law firm in Cincinnati and...

we had an attorney that was visiting from another branch, he called from a temp office set up for him, and said the "computer would not come on". I went down to the office, and, I kid you not, there was a monitor on the desk, with the plug clearly draped across the desk, and nothing else. No Keyboard, no computer, no mouse. Just the monitor, clearly not plugged into ANYTHING! Believe me, I have many other amazing tales too, that just made you wonder how these people became so successful.

[LincolnMcGrath]

34. Lawyers do not have a lock on being the only tight-asses.

The name calling in this thread is quite rich though. NOT :eyes:

[lonestarnot]

38. Well did you get paid? What a bag of shit! "Worked before you came in."

Slap him for me.

[BiggJawn]

73. Of COURSE it worked before he came in...

it QUIT working, so that's why they called him.

That's like buying a radio at a flea market and being told "It worked last time I turned it on..."
Just before that storm came through, burnt half your house down, vapourized your tower, and blew every light bulb in the TV room and made the TV jump off its stand....
:D

[lonestarnot]

77. :D

[King Coal]

39. Not to pick nits, but you should say "Onboard NIC".

And, he could have some settings wrong, preventing it from working. I know how you feel. What really pisses me off is when you do pro bono work for "friends" and then, down the road you get the "It was working fine until you worked on it." Then, at that point, is when I get the red ass.

[noahmijo]

61. I actually did say Onboard Network Card

You're right, when I wrote my little rant I was just still in the process of cooling off and typing faster than I could think.

ohhhhh I know what you mean about the "friends" deal....

[Habibi]

41. Rants like this are good for the soul!

I used to install proprietary medical software for a living and most of the physicians I dealt with were also very--difficult. Of course, it didn't help that the software was crap and required herculean effort to get it to behave. Nothing like having the program hang in the middle of a colonoscopy.

You sound like a great techie, and I doubt very much that you're going to go growling at all your clients from here on in, despite what some prigs in this thread seem to think. It's hard to find a tech support person who cares about educating his or her clients, and it sounds like you do. So come here and rant like hell when you need to.

[ucmike]

42. i used to install wireless systems in nyc

one problem with point-to-point is that if someone builds a high-rise in the path it will obviously block the signal. it shouldn't be a surprise that in manhattan they are still building highrises.

i explained that to some big shot whose T1's were coming and going as a crane working on a building across the street swung in the path.

his very irritated response-"you better do something about it".

okay, i'll go across the street and ask the construction company if they can cease work on their $100 million dollar project so your internet connections stay up.

it's amazing to me that people who have gotten themselves into high paying, high profile, management positions can be so fucking dense sometimes.

[Cerridwen]

44. Well ranted. :D

As many others here, I feel your pain. And, as well, I know of other "groups of people" who seem to fall into the "stupid" category.

2 True stories from my years in I.T.

A new clerical staff comes on board. She's using a program I wrote to track leave time. She's paging through the records using the "page down" key. As she sits there holding down the key, she looks up and asks; "how do I make it stop?" to which I reply, "take your finger off the key."

In her other job, she is an artist who works with the police department to help identify jane and john doe bodies by sketching or sculpting (I forget which) what might be their faces based on remains of found skulls in various forms of decomposition.

Story 2

A med tech working in a juvenile mental health lock-down ward calls me one afternoon to say the printer isn't working.

Med tech: "Cerridwen, I've tried to print this document 5 times and nothing's coming out of the printer."

Me: "Is there a message displayed on your monitor?" (never say error message; it's too confusing.)

Med tech: "There's a thing that says something about printer out of paper."

Me: "Walk over to the printer, open the paper drawer and see if there's paper."

Med tech sets phone down, I hear foot steps, the printer paper drawer being opened"

Med tech back on line: "there's no paper, you think that might be why it won't print?" (he was serious)

Me: "Yeah, put some paper in and it should be fine"

Med tech: "Okay, I'll try. Thanks."

Me: "You're welcome" End of call.

3 minutes pass

Phone rings -

Med tech: "Cerridwen, it's printing now but it's printing a bunch of copies of my document."

Me: "Yeah, it'll print all 5 of your copies now. Just shred the ones you don't need."

Med tech: "Oh, okay. Thanks."

Me: "You're welcome."

He was great with the kids, though.

And my sense of humor improved greatly as I dealt with these things. Of course, I had a few good rants, such as yours, with my fellow techs in order to keep my sense of humor.

Since lawyers, doctors and engineers have already been mentioned, you wanna talk about university students, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists, too? I gotta million of 'em!

:rofl:

[patcox2]

45. I would fire your ass and hire someone without a tude.

In a minute.

Tech guys who work for me are providing me a service. If one came off like you seem to, they'd be history.

[noahmijo]

58. Obviously you didn't read it through

And I should point out I am not your stereotypical computer geek. So far 98% of the clients I have worked with-even the ones I secretly hate have praised me and requested me for their services and what's more I don't just fix things for people I educate, I take the time to show people why x problem happened, how they can avoid it again, I even make them laugh when I can.

Quite frankly you types that don't even understand what a desktop or a network cable is or means but ask lots of questions I LOVE you types I am totally willing to sit down with your kind anytime because you at least want to learn and you aren't giving me shit.


And you people are supposed to be good listners.

Please I wouldn't even offer my services to someone like you because you belong to that group that doesn't read through things and doesn't listen-which is the main group of people this little OP was directed at.

Hook, Line, Sinker.

Thanks for playing!

[sendero]

47. It's all about arrogance....

... people think that if they got through law school or medical school, they are geniuses and you are a dumbass.

I'd tell him, start today, in 10 years you would not be able to fix or program a damn computer, you just don't have the snap.

[newportdadde]

48. My friend did a website for a law office once.

It was a very basic site with a ftp transmission for some client medical files(not so basic security wise etc). First they didn't want to pay for the huge space/cost of moving around these very large files then noone wanted to learn it.. on and on and on.

It was hands down the biggest pain in the ass deal he had ever done in his private side web business.

[ElaineinIN]

49. In defense of lawyers....

Okay, I'm a lawyer, and I like to think I'm not an asshole. I fully admit that I can turn my computer on, type email, get to the internets, and handle Word and Excel, but beyond that I'm lost. I'm sure that I've caused my help desk no end of laughter and pain. But, rest assured, I am not in denial of the fact that I am technologically challenged and but for our IS staff, I'd be useless.

However, it goes beyond that. Without my secretary, my paralegal, my file clerk, my receptionist, the meeting room set up people, and everyone else here that does a fabulous job, I'd be useless. I tell new attorneys in the firm that the person who is your number one ally in year 1 is your secretary... she (mostly) has been here longer than you and knows how to get things done. She knows how many copies of the court pleadings you need. She knows how to get postage pre paid envelopes. You may know the elements of a tort claim, but you sure as shit don't know how to practice law.

The problem you encounter is not lawyers, its people who can't acknowledge that they don't know everything and that they need help. Surely, it probably appears more in the professions, as we pride ourselves as having specialized knowledge that the general public doesn't have. But rest assured, assholes are assholes, and they are everywhere.

[Straight Shooter]

54. Well said, ElaineinIN

You clearly are not an a**hole.

I've met as many jerks with no education as there are jerks with plenty of education. People just feel like they're saving face if they can dump the problem on someone else. You don't need a law degree or medical degree to possess that character deficiency. It's rampant. Just look at the stinkbomb in the Oval Office. He's a classic case of "it's your fault, not mine."

[noahmijo]

59. My response to you (Repeated since you didn't read it the first time)

And I should point out I am not your stereotypical computer geek. So far 98% of the clients I have worked with-even the ones I secretly hate have praised me and requested me for their services and what's more I don't just fix things for people I educate, I take the time to show people why x problem happened, how they can avoid it again, I even make them laugh when I can.

Quite frankly you types that don't even understand what a desktop or a network cable is or means but ask lots of questions I LOVE you types I am totally willing to sit down with your kind anytime because you at least want to learn and you aren't giving me shit.

[jeanarrett]

68. As a 25-year veteran, thank you.

[PunkPop]

52. I can totally relate.

My last job was as a legal videographer. Worked with lawyers ALMOST EVERY DAMN DAY. Not just regular lawyers - LITIGATORS. I met some good guys, but in general they are some of the most narcissistic people around.

My favorite was the the old guy who sat and smoked a cigarette next to the pregnant court reporter while he asked his questions. Totally in his own world. Totally clueless.

The ones who insisted on working through lunch always pissed me off too. It's like, "hey, I need some food. I don't give a shit about your schedule or your case, just give me 30 minutes to grab something to eat asshole."

[noahmijo]

60. I had worked 7 hours straight before having to deal with the guy in my

rant.


Too true-breaks are not a word in a tech's vocab.

But I still love the job and the life nonetheless. :)

[Ilsa]

53. Personally, I think he needs to hear the comment about

expensive art but cheap machines that he actually needs to maintain his livelihood.

Great rant.

[Hamlette]

55. if we are going to be talking about prima donnas....I'm glad the IT people

are here. It might be said we think the same way about you.

We negotiate with you to build us some software. We agree to pay you millions of dollars because we know it is a complex system. You promise us that it will be able to calculate say...unemployment taxes and you will have it operational within 2 years.

We think...that is a lot of money and a long time but we are getting used to this so we say...great. Thanks. Here's your gazillion dollar check and some donuts. Let us know what you need.

And it is now year five...and it has cost us millions more than we intended...and we are being held hostage...and we are going to court.

And you wonder why we don't think you are the wiz kids you think you are and why we are reluctant to believe anything you say including "your LAN is dead."

[DefenseLawyer]

64. There used to be a skit

on Saturday Night Live called "Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy". It was funny. That's all I'm going to say about that.

[patcox2]

75. "Move!"

Oh yeah.

There is an HR joke that went around, it was about the HR director who went to the president and said we have to be more respectful of the religious beliefs of the satanists in the company. The president said "I didn't know we had any satanists here." The HR person says, "well, there's the IT department."

[Neil Lisst]

88. You're welcome!!

Whoever hires you is your friend. Period. Whether you are a lawyer or an IT guy, you owe a certain duty of respect and loyalty to those who hire you. People who complain about their customers are lame, no matter what the situation. Your customers are your best friend, and anyone who OWNS a business appreciates that.

Treat the customer right, no matter who he is. "Litigators can be difficult" is not exactly a Fox News Alert. Oh, wait. It probably is.

[sendero]

83. Sadly...

... as an ex-systems developer - you have a valid complaint. Like most professions, it is hard to separate the men from the boys. Lots of software projects are so hopelessly mismanaged, they wind up getting tossed in the shitcan rather than wasting more money.

If you had: 1) a complete and clear set of requirements 2) didn't expect to change the requirements without impacting the project and 3) a clear timeline with functional benchmarks that were not met, I hope you sue their asses off.

Half-steppers just screw it up for everyone.

[Bridget Burke]

87. It appears that you were dealing with Consultants......

Who are a different breed from company IT guys. You are not alone.



Order products imprinted with the above image right here: www.cartoonbank.com/product_details.asp?mscssid=9RKD5S27AHE58PUKUTEEWWMUMUF4105A&sitetype=1&did=4&sid=45288&whichpage=1&sortBy=popular&keyword=consultants§ion=cartoons

(Many other classic New Yorker cartoons are available at the above site. No Charles Addams, alas.)

[Hamlette]

91. I agree that I get excellent service from "our" IT "guys" BUT

even that was not always that way. Back in the 80s when I first started helping plan the computer systems I cannot tell you how many "on staff" people said stuff like "it cannot be done" or "we need to buy a new machine/software to do this". And how difficult it was for me to figure out they were lying. (I was/am lucky to have a sister who is a IT project manager. She would tell me "they are lying to you, it can be done." She was right but we had to weed through a bunch of incompetent people to get someone who could do it.)

"Our" IT guys, the ones who come around and help fix my computer when it isn't running are on my payroll and know if they don't perform they will be gone. I am their customer.

My point was that as a lawyer I have been involved in many failed contracts for IT work and when it goes bad, since I work for the government, its on the front page of the paper "such and such a state agency spent $28 million for a computer system that does not work." (Hasn't happened to me but did in Colorado just 2 weeks ago. Who knows who was a fault in Colorado but in my state we have to treat the IT "guys" as the "enemy" because we have NEVER had a contract finish on time and for the agreed upon price.)

I know I am not the typical lawyer. I'm a bleeding heart liberal with good social skills and left litigation because I hated working with the lawyers on the other side of cases. I know how awful they are to work with. Maybe you can get some satisfaction in knowing that the lawyer you work for spends his/her day fighting with other asshole lawyers just like her/him. It's a shitty way to make a living. (Being a lawyer is great if you can find a place where you are not constantly at war with other lawyers.)

My point was simply that there are lots of IT prima donnas out there who are just as difficult to work with in their own way and as a lawyer I know because I've had to sue them.

[Nimrod2005]

56. Dude, this awesome, good for you ranting. Next time my IT guy tells me off

I will know it is you?

About them buying cheap shit...etc. You sound like my wife, always accusing me of trying to save money buying cheap shit.




P.S. I love my wife.

[CTLawGuy]

62. As a law student

I say don't take it personally.

Technology is very irritating to lawyers because it often seemingly behaves illogically, like when the MS word program on my old Mac decided to stop loading up, even when I shut down the computer, and even if I reinstalled it.

We hate things that mess up and we can't sue them.

[noahmijo]

66. If you were my client right now

To you say I say "whattya wanna know bud?"

I would happily spend 4 hours explaining how a network cable works (actually 4 minutes is all I need but you get the idea) to someone like you.

That's all I ask is if you hate this stuff fine, but you depend on it therefore when you can take some time to learn ASK QUESTIONS whenever someone like me is around, hell I don't care if it's for personal reasons like you wanna know what to get for your kid to compute on or something you still pick stuff up.

Good luck to ya.

~NB~

[King Coal]

76. Noah, you wouldn't believe some of the stories I have.

Just try to have a sense of humor, and remember how we get paid. LOL!

[Bridget Burke]

89. The young ones are still teachable...

Anyone currently in school is "young"--no matter how many years they've been on the planet.

They realize they don't know EVERYTHING.

[Cleita]

78. Back when I worked with billing medical insurance and

dealing with accidents and injuries on the job, the ambulance chasers were the biggest dicks. Not all lawyers were that dealt with this but the ones that were dicks were super dicks.

I did find out one thing though. I could tell them off, call them every name in the book and it didn't even phase them. Talk about skin as thick as a mastadon. Try it.

It gives you a tremendous sense of relief. They won't do anything to you. They need you more than you need them.