Hoax or reality?

[Kelvin Mace]

I just got a press release from a friend who is editor for the local paper.

The PR from Susblood Labs advertises a new "powerful deterrent" against suicide bombers.



Las Vegas, Nevada -- October 24, 2005 With global suicide bombings on the rise, more and more innocent lives are being destroyed. In response, Susblood Labs, LLC is introducing a quality writing instrument that contains a potent formulation including a non-toxic, cryogenically frozen porcine plasma (pig’s blood) as a key component .

The ancient Islamic "Doctrine of Jihad" promises homicide bombers an eternity in paradise accompanied by 72 virgins in exchange for committing their deadly acts of suicidal terror. However, this same doctrine states that Muslim terrorists defiled by pig's blood will not enter paradise, but will instead spend eternity in hell, alone. “Knowing that a fine mist of pig's blood will be sprinkled all over his body after his bomb explodes may well cause an Islamic terrorist to think twice before following through with his heinous act.” says Dr. James Susblood, founder of Susblood Labs, LLC.

Just last year, pig's blood and other pork by-products were approved for use in Israel by the Jerusalem Rabbinical Court in an effort to dissuade homicide bombings.

"Our intent is to overcome the threat of terror with the promise of eternal damnation," says Dr. Susblood.

Susblood Labs, LLC is today announcing the release of a new ergonomic and completely functional ball point pen called "Infidel's Revenge." This pen is a high quality writing instrument and incorporates the same technology used in the Company’s’ industrial product line. The Infidel’s Revenge ball point pen resembles a hypodermic needle and is encased in a sealed plastic cylinder that contains the patent-pending formula. The formula is non-toxic and completely safe. This pen can now be purchased by any consumer, and provides a simple and effective way for everyone to fight terrorism.

“Finally, there is something we can all do to prevent terror attacks. Using the new Susblood pens for your everyday writing needs means that terror prevention technology will be resident in every drawer, every purse, every pocket everywhere, thereby eliminating the terrorists' primary motivation for homicide bombing," states Dr. Susblood. “Suicide bombers contemplating terror must now decide between completing their mission and spending eternity in hell.”

Susblood Labs, LLC is a privately held research and development company headquartered in Las Vegas, NV and engaged in the production and deployment of terror prevention technologies designed to save innocent men, women and children from suicide terrorist acts. Susblood Labs products are safe and, when properly used, pose no health hazards. At the same time these products provide a powerful and frightful psychological deterrent to the would-be-terrorists of the Jihad.

For more information or an interview, please contact [email protected]


I am trying to find info on this, company but so far coming up dry. The shopping cart appears to work, but I an not completely sold this isn't a hoax. IF this is a real product, the possibility of it being used against Muslims by freeper types in a "non-suicide" encounter (like at a protest march) is VERY high and likely to spark mass riots.

I will post anything I find out at thoughtcrimes.org

[radwriter0555]

1. LOL thanks for a good laugh...

Very, very good, GREAT imagination!

[electropop]

2. Seriously demented idea.

Whether it's real or not, the promoter sounds certifiable to me. As for freeper potentital, they could just as easily throw pork chops at Muslims.

[NYCGirl]

3. And they have a store on ebay, too!

http://stores.ebay.com/susbloodlabs-llc

[bryant69]

4. Well i'm sure you can get pigs blood anyway

This does seem like a wierd push; I mean for one thing, how is the infidal going to know you have pigs blood on you? And if he does, why wouldn't he just shoot you, and carefully wrap the pen up in something and put it far away from where he is going to be.

As for worrying about whether or not freepers are going to get pigs blood and throw it on people, I'm not sure what you can do about that; they haven't so far, but of course they could in the future.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com
Big Contest at blog - To potentially win a subscription to Salon Magazine, visit this post --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com/2005/10/contest.html

[Kelvin Mace]

5. The idea is that after you blow yourself up

some helpful freeper will come along a squirt pig's blood on you and deny you paradise.

[crispini]

6. That HAS to be a joke.

Good one, though. :)

[Kelvin Mace]

7. Dunno

That was my first impulse, but they have established a merchant account on Ebay, which is taking it a bit far. They also spent a chunk of money to send this out to newspapers across the country.

As a joke, it has the potential to cause a lot of grief for Christian/Muslim relations. If real, it has a high potential for violence.

[NYCGirl]

8. Yeah, but someone sold a lot of "Pet Rocks" too. It might be a gag gift.

[rucky]

9. there is no way the USDA would allow the sale of pig's blood

on the internet, nonetheless.

no fucking way.

Dr. Susblood? gimme a break.

[Kelvin Mace]

11. Yes, that was the first thing that tripped my BS detector

[ck4829]

10. Wouldn't work even if it was true

The religious leaders supporting these these things have said that it is OK to be exposed to pig's blood.

Israel has tried this too.

Many Muslims also aren't afraid of pigs, pig's blood, or pork. I once had bacon for breakfast very recently.

I wish it would stop the terrorists, but this is simply ignorance.

[Straight Shooter]

12. The blood of the infidels washes away the pig's blood.

Okay, I just made that up, but if I were encouraging someone to be a suicide bomber, that's what I would tell them.

[yurbud]

13. invent something that makes people like being occupied

having their kids killed and houses bulldozed, and you'll have less suicide bombings.

[Canuckistanian]

14. Obviously they've never heard of the Sepoy Mutiny

When you screw with a people's deeply held beliefs in order to use it as a weapon against them, you lose.

This is exactly how Britain lost India.

[RaleighNCDUer]

15. Hoax or no, it would have little effect on terrorists.

Most suicide bombers have been shown to be politically, not religiously motivated. The 911 hijackers were documented to have spent a lot of time and money drinking in strip clubs - does not suggest religious fanaticism on their part. The first palastinians to use suicide bombings (no, it really hasn't gone on forever, it just seems like it) were committed pan-arabist nationalists, many of whom were also dedicated communists and strictly secular, like Fatah, Black September, PLO. They were not above using religiously motivated dupes, however, which led to a relationship not unlike that between the neocons and religious right, from whence came Hamas and Hezbollah.

Most suicide bombers would be no more fazed by the idea of being contaminated by pig's blood than I would be by the threat of being buried in unconsecrated ground. It just isn't a factor.

ON EDIT: The powers that be push the idea that it is a religious war to further their own ends and to deny the possibility that there is a practical, political solution available - you can't argue or compromise with a fanatic, therefore you must resort to extreme measures. If the terrorists who happen to be Muslim have a real political agenda, rather than a religious one, they can be met as equals in negotiations, which is an anathema to the imperialists.

[RepublicanElephant]

16. won't work on british special forces disguised as suicide bombers.

...unless they happen to be muslim or maybe vegan.
:yoiks:

[RaleighNCDUer]

18. LOL

How to stop a vegan terrorist!

[kestrel91316]

17. Here's the clue that says this IS a hoax:

The name "Susblood" itself appears to be a takeoff of "pig's blood". "Sus" is standing in for "suis", which is Latin (IIRC) for pig or swine.

It's like naming the guy Dr. Pigblood.

[Kelvin Mace]

20. Good catch.

[RethugAssKicker]

19. Its a MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD World

[Silverhair]

21. Funny. Anything to make a buck or two. NT

[Kelvin Mace]

23. That was my other thought

This was a way to make money off of dimbulb Freepers.

[Javaman]

22. now where did I put that garlic and silver bullet....

Ahh right here, next to the holy water, the cross and the stakes.

Just like what salt water did to the Triffids, pigs blood is just bound to make any Muslim run in terror.

OY VEY!!!

It's official, we have turned back the clock to the 13th century!

Fearless leader hears voices from god, crazy folks are using trickery to ward off those evil demons and intelligent design!

Next, we'll be hearing about how little pebbles float!!!