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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:03 PM
Original message
A hardy DU welcome to all our lurking Freeptards!!!!!
I join the pretzeldent in Saluting you and yours! :yourock: :banghead:

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Cobalt Violet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. I think he is now the Tinkledent.
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. or ewwww sprinkledent? eom
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Bernardo de La Paz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #1
11. Pissident?
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Cobalt Violet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Cacadent?
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. that sounds like a really terrible
idea for denture adhesive "as seen on tv" :puke:

:rofl:
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Downtown Hound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:07 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hi freeps
Guess what? You're all stupid! You are the only people on this entire planet that can't see that George W. Bush is a complete dipshit. Pull your heads out of your asses already!
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Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:09 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Sir your fans are here."

"And yes sir, you may go poopies now."
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. uh, caca's....mommie let's me say's caca's
and I pee-pee on the BIG potty! :applause:
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Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:13 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. "Condi, where do babies come from?"
"Mommy won't tell me."
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
5. AND to Them I Dedicate THIS:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050914/ap_on_go_ot/katrina_washington

"Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government," Bush said at a joint White House news conference with Iraqi President Jalal Talabani.

"And to the extent that the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility. I want to know what went right and what went wrong," said Bush.

Facing sharp criticism and the lowest approval ratings of his presidency, Bush scheduled a speech to the nation from Louisiana for Thursday evening. It will be his fourth trip to the devastated Gulf Coast since the storm struck two weeks ago.

*************UNQUOTE**********

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LittleClarkie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
6. Oh good.
I just got a mental image of a freeper in a leotard. Just what I wanted. It's bad enough that I've seen one in a a tigger suit.

(sigh)
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. LOL! LMAO!
:rofl:
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sue_66 Donating Member (58 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. Sir
Do you have to go number one or number two?
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tnlefty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
12. Oh yeah, and 'cause you probably aren't in the upper 1% of income
that's what he thinks about you, too.
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. you got that right
:toast:
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LuCifer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:18 PM
Response to Original message
13. Here's some reading material for y'all Freeper Retard-O-Bots!!!
LEARN TO READ, YOU ASSHOLE FREEPER RETHUGLIKKKONS! MORONS!

"All Laws Which Are Repugnant to The Constitution Are Null And Void"
- Marbury Vs. Madison 5 US 137,174
http://www.restoringamerica.org/documents/marburyVmadison_text.html

"FUCK THE FCC!"
- "Grandpa" Al Lewis with Howard Stern in Philadelphia 1986.

A thoughtful comment on the FCC: http://www.pythonline.com/plugs/idle/FCCSong.mp3 Send this EVERYWHERE!

"Hillary Clinton fathered a half-black child with a prostitute
in Mississippi. I'll stake my reputation on it."
- Ken Mehlman, RNC Chairman

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined,
but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a
status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them,
which would include their own government.
- George Washington

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
- Theodore Roosevelt

From The US Declaration of Independence:

"That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among
Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,
-- That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these
ends, It is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and
to institute new Government, Laying its foundation on such principles
and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most
likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
"But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

The 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment
of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;
or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or
the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to
petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

"Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God!"
- Thomas Jefferson

"The constitutions of most of our States assert that all power is inherent in the people; that... it is their right and duty to be at all times armed."
- Jefferson to John Cartwright, 1824. ME 16:45

And what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is its natural manure.
- Jefferson, 1787

"A government that fears it's people is a democray, a government that is feared by it's people is tyrany!"
- Jefferson yet again!

"Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity."
- Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism"
- Jefferson once again G!

"To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice."
- Confucious

"Without Hell, your religion IS NOT WORTH A DAMN!"
- Anon.

"When a man who is honestly mistaken, hears the truth, he will either cease being mistaken or cease being honest."
- Anon

"I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources; they are in my view the most insidious of traitors."
- George H. W. Bush, who's son and company obvious are unable of understanding...

"Think about it, fuckin' sell out"
- Ice Cube.

"How does it feel, to wake up every morning, look in a mirror, and realize, YOU'RE A FUCKIN WHORE?"
- Ice T

"I'll send my sons if he sends his daughters. Put those two drunk bitches on a plane and let them go fight. At least I know my sons would be getting some on the way."
- Damon Wayans, quoted by the NY Daily News, on the conditions for
Presidunce Bush to send his sons to fight in Iraq.

We’re all fucked. It helps to remember that.
- George Carlin

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he perfomed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events at the olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago, a cowboy, who was high on cocaine and alcohol, rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now, he's president of the United States."
------------------------

There was a young monk of Hong Kong
Who had a three-headed dong
A small one for sucking
A BIG one for fucking
And an extra for beating the gong
------------------------

Dear President Bush:

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment to codify marriage on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Gen.38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
------------------------

How to start your day with a positive attitude:

1. Create a "new folder" on your computer.
2. Name it "George W. Bush".
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your computer will ask you: "Do you really want to delete "George W. Bush"?
6. Calmly answer, "Yes", and press the mouse button firmly...
------------------------

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza
Hut. May I have your national ID
number?


Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an
order.


Operator: I must have your NIDN first,
sir.


Customer: My National ID Number, yeah,
hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.


Operator: Thank you Mr. Smith. I see you
live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the
phone number is 494-2366. Your office
number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-
2302 and your cell number is 266-2566.
Email address is [email protected] Which
number are you calling from?


Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you
get all this information?


Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.


Customer: The HSS, what is that?


Operator: We're wired into the Homeland
Security System, sir. This will add only
15 seconds to your ordering time.


Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to
order a couple of your All Meat
Special pizzas.


Operator: I don't think that's a good
idea, sir.


Customer: Whaddya mean?


Operator: Sir, your medical records and
commode sensors indicate that you've got
very high blood pressure and extremely
high cholesterol. Your National Health
Care provider won't allow such an
unhealthy choice .


Customer: What?!?! What do you
recommend, then?


Operator: You might try our low-fat
Soybean Pizza.I'm sure you'll like
it.


Customer: What makes you think I'd like
something like that?


Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet
Soybean Recipes' from your local library
last week, sir. That's why I made the
suggestion.


Customer: All right, all right. Give me
two family-sized ones, then


Operator: That should be plenty for you,
your wife and your four kids.
Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir.
Your total is $49.99.


Customer: Lemme give you my credit card
number.


Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid
you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit
card balance is over its limit.


Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and
get some cash before your driver gets
here.


Operator: That won't work either, sir.
Your checking account is overdrawn also.


Customer: Never mind! Just send the
pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?


Operator: We're running a little behind,
sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If
you're in a hurry you might want to
pick'em up while you're out getting the
cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a
motorcycle can be a little awkward.


Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a
scooter?


Operator: It says here you're in arrears
on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid
for and you just filled the tank
yesterday.


Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#


Operator: I'd advise watching your
language, sir. You've already got a
July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out
a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing
for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see
here that you just got out from a 90 day
stay in the State Correctional Facility.
Is this your first pizza since your
return to society?


Customer: (speechless)


Operator: Will there be anything else,
sir?


Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a
free 2 liter of Coke.


Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's
exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics. The New
Constitution our country started using
in 2006 prohibits this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!
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Cannabian Donating Member (111 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:19 PM
Response to Original message
14. These lyrics immediately spring to mind
I'm so happy, hope your happy too - David Bowie

I got it, I got your number on the wall - Tommy Tutone

And special thanks to:

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name - America
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Just Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:43 PM
Response to Original message
18. Hope y'all grow your conscience or sense of humanity or moral anchor.
Good luck.
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