Advice, please...

[tinfoilinfor2005]

Yesterday I had to have my cat of thirteen years put to sleep because of feline cancer. It was difficult but we were prepared and certainly wanted to do the kindest thing for him. As we finished the paperwork and were about to leave the office, the receptionist gave us a piece of paper entitled "Will My Pet Be In Heaven?" She mentioned that the Vet gives this to pet owners because he thinks it will be helpful. I didn't read it until I got home. Because it is lengthy, I will only give the gist of the letter: All pets go to heaven because animals all know the true Creator and they have no will. God gave mankind a will. Our pets have a paid for ticket in heaven. Will we? Not unless we pray right now and accept Christ as our Savior. And then an example prayer is given.

OK. I am a Christian. And I was appalled when I read this sheet of paper. If I had been a Jew or a Muslim or an American Indian or whatever (insert belief system of choice) and just lost my pet, I think this little lecture on paper would have just added to my pain.

When I pick up the ashes in two weeks, should I mention this insensitivity, or should I just figure that these people are your average right wing looney tunes and keep my mouth shut?

[Dookus]

1. I'm very sorry about your cat

I know how hard it is to have to put one down.

If it were me, I would mention politely to the vet that I didn't appreciate the christian propaganda used during my time of pain, and inform her that I would be finding a new vet immediately.

[oldtime dfl_er]

2. when you return to pick up the ashes,

bring back that little piece of propaganda with a note attached, or written on the back, that says something along the lines that in times of grief people appreciate support and kind words but this sentiment is completely out of order. Because it is.

www.cafepress.com/showtheworld

[AlCzervik]

3. i think that note is obnoxious but....

was he good to your cat? If he was a good and caring vet to your kitty then i'd maybe just move along and get a new vet.

[raggedcompany]

5. I respectfully disagree

even if the vet was good to her cat, this kind of evangelism is out of order. there are plenty of good vets who don't prey on their clients' grievous states to advance a particular religion. these folks need to be told. politely, but told nevertheless that what they do is shameful, and will not be supported.


edit: didn't like the ending.

[donheld]

23. I disagree as well

You need to let the vet know this behavior is not cool.

[raggedcompany]

4. wow. my gut reaction would be to save the card and when you return

give it back to them. Ask to see your late pet's vet. Hand the pamphlet to him/her and say something like: This pamphlet is horrible. I come to you for veterinary service, not wacko evangelism. You took advantage of my mournful emotional state--or attempted to do--and that alone is reprehensible. Nevermind the jingoist content.
I have/will have other pets, but you'll never meet them. Except in heaven maybe, after you die.

Well, that's a little cumbersome, and perhaps too harsh for some, but the point I want to make is this:

Let them know you dissent, and why. And back it up by hitting them where it hurts, even if it's a little less convenient to go to another vet.

[Wrinkle_In_Time]

12. I totally agree. That behaviour was unconscionable.

To the OP, I'm sorry for your loss and for some fucktard trying to take advantage of your emotional state.

If you feel up to it, please challenge them on it or at least deprive them of any future money from you. If you don't feel up to this, then we understand.

[Carni]

6. I am sorry about your cat and yes, I would bitch...

To me animals going to *hell* is a complete joke (even if I thought there was a *hell* which I don't)

The vet is incredibly insensitive to even hand out this crap on such an occasion.

[DefenseLawyer]

19. But people that make little dogs wear sweaters

they are going to hell, right?

[Carni]

36. I'm not a *Christian* so you tell me...

Because I haven't the foggiest fucking idea-

[Behind the Aegis]

7. Sorry on two fronts.

I am sorry that you had to put your cat to sleep. I know that must have been hard. And, I am sorry, that in your time of need and pain, some asshole decided it was OK to shove his/her version of religion in your face.

If it had been just a little thing about "all pets go to heaven," then that could almost be excused. But to basically say, "hey you pet is dead and is waiting in Heaven, but you won't get there unless you believe this way" is fucking cruel!

These people will feign "I am just trying to help" but they are nothing but haters! I will never believe otherwise!

I hope you have a nice shoulder to cry on, and when you get the time, you let the vet know how you felt, as a Christian, then try to get the insensitive SOB to think how he might have made a non-Christian feel!

[tinfoilinfor2005]

8. I showed the note to a neighbor

who I ran into as I was bringing the empty cat carrier into the house. Didn't know his political affiliation at that point, but I sure did afterward! He said, " You can blame this on that son of a bitch Bush...all the nuts out there now take his election as some kind of a mandate to say and do whatever they want." Made me chuckle because I am certain he has no clue that I am a Democrat.

[KarenS]

9. I am very sorry about your kitty.

Our pets truly are members of the family.

If this happened to me, I believe that I would say something to them when I returned to pick up the ashes.

Grieve some first, then you can decide what, if anything, you want to say or do.

[Acryliccalico]

10. Seems to me

your vet doesn't want any atheists as clients. It would have been a grave insult to one. Try to explain to him that there are "many" religions and that to pander to one is to limit his services. IMHO :kick:

[seabeyond]

11. baptist certain animals dont go to heaven cause they have no

soul. either a man pretending to be religious yet doesnt go to church, a lot of the bush supporters that are simply mouthing the religious stuff, or other religions believe that, but i havent heard

[alcuno]

13. The part about your cat going to heaven is okay.

The part about people needing to pray is not. I'm a Catholic and I'd say something about it being really inappropriate. He is a vet, not a minister.

[MissWaverly]

14. sorry about your loss

I hate to say this but your vet probably got the material free, and probably skimmed it at the most, and did not read it, he probably thought it was helping not hurting. I know that when my mother died a lot of people did tactless, stupid things, just go on and shut it out. Remember your pet and the love that you had, that's the important thing.

[cags]

15. I think private businesses have a right to do that.

There should be no religion in public or government buildings, but homes and businesses have every right to display religion. They may lose business but thats there problem.

I might find it annoying for myself and find another vet if it really bothered me, but I wouldn't ask them to stop.

Thats why I find the whole "christians are being attacked" statement just stupid. No one can stop you from erecting huge crosses or baby jesus's on your storefront or frontyard. You have every right to do that.

But the government and public schools should not have that right because people are forced to go there. No one has to come to your home or your business.

JMHO

And sorry about your kitty,had to do the same thing last year and it was awful

[caligirl]

16. UCDavis Vet school of med has a grief counseling phone number to

call for grief counseling after our pets are gone. I called it last fall when my beloved salt and pepper giant schnauzer died due to vet malpractice. The number is posted at their web site.

This was way more supportive than having ideology shoved down ones throat. They are taking inappropriate advantage of their customers here. Goes way beyond greif support.


Our pets are children with a very short life span. It was so painful to loose my dog and I have another I can't even imagine living without. I honestly don't want to be without him.

Sorry this happened to you too.

[in_cog_ni_to]

17. Get a new vet AFTER you tell him why.

That is beyond ridiculous. I have just started telling people to keep their religion to themselves, I have my own. That truly sucks and he/she had NO RIGHT to push his religion on you. YOU are a customer/patient. He has crossed the line. How does he know you're not Jewish, Muslim or atheist? Business and religion don't mix.

on edit. I'm so sorry about your cat. I know how you feel. I've had to have 4 pets )cats and dogs) put to sleep. Some of the saddest days of my life. I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

[crispini]

18. Awwww, man.

:hug: sorry about your kitty.

and .... wow, I don't know how I'd handle that. Yes, I do, because I'm not a Christian. I would take it back, and very politely explain that although I appreciate the sentiment, I didn't appreciate the proselytizing. And although it's certainly within their first amendment rights to do this, it's also within my rights to take my business elsewhere.

that was too funny what your neighbor said, btw.

[Akoto]

20. Inappropriate.

If the card had just said "don't be sad, your pet has gone to a better place", I could accept that as good intentions. This is outright preaching. To attempt to instill your personal faith in someone while they are vulnerable from grief is just dispicable.

Besides, who the hell is this person to say that animals have no will? They have personalities, they can learn, they are individuals, they know right and do wrong. Sounds like a little person to me. I sympathize deeply with your loss. I've lost many pets myself, and while I am not a Christian, I know they'll end up somewhere good. If only the human race could love others as acceptingly as our pets do!

[Skittles]

33. yes, not disgusting, but certainly inappropriate

I think the guy means well but it is still not appropriate at all.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

21. Hmm, I'm really glad now that I asked for advice

because you have presented some sides of the issue that I wouldn't have thought of. I think I may return the paper with a brief note on it saying something to the effect of: "Thanks for your excellent care of my pet. However, this letter was not a necessary part of that care. I have always been taught that works, not words are the best way to share our faith with others."

[tinfoilinfor2005]

27. And thanks for your kind words of condolence...

Scotty was a real special friend and will always be a part of us.

[jjtss]

22. I would not say anything...

You don't know how many people have been helped by that missive. When my Tibetan Terrier died suddenly from lukemia, I was so grief stricken and bitter I couldn't believe the sympathy cards I received from the whole staff. I preferred to believe that they were inured to pet deaths. I'm so glad I held my tongue and got over that.

[karlrschneider]

24. So sorry for your loss, it is a hard thing to do. But I think that

leaflet was absolutely INappropriate. If a vet had done that to me, I would be en-and-outraged, and would let them know in no uncertain terms why. But it's your call, obviously.

[jjtss]

25. I would not say anything...

You don't know how many people that missive has helped. When my Tibetan Terrier died suddenly from lukemia, I was so grief stricken and bitter, I couldn't believe the sincerity of the sympathy cards that I received from the vet's staff. I preferred to believe that they were only automatic and that the staff must be inured to pet deaths. No true, they loved her too. I'm so glad that I held my tongue and got over my grief without any rancor.

[Dookus]

31. I've gotten sympathy cards

from Vets' offices when I've lost pets. I appreciated them. But none of them suggested I pray to Jesus for salvation.

This leaflet was out of line. It's not the sharing of condolences that's irksome - it's the overt prosletyzing.

[REP]

26. Do You Like Your Vet? If So

suggest that they hand out a copy of the "Rainbow Bridge" instead to comfort people who have just lost a beloved friend (and provide a copy of it for them). Point out that the RB is non-denominational, and may comfort people of *any* faith.

If you don't like your vet, complain that you were insulted by this blatant protestlytizing. Quote Matthew ("7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.") or my favorite, Matthew 6:5 "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."

[not systems]

28. Did he know your a Christian?

If so maybe he doesn't give the same sheet to others.

But I'm just giving him the benefit of the doubt which is
probably unwarranted.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

30. No.

The subject never came up, directly or indirectly. I'm certain it is a standard sheet for everyone.

[SammyWinstonJack]

29. First so sorry for the loss of your cherished loved one

Second, we are not allowed to mourn the passing of our furry friends without being subjected to religious bias? I am an Atheist and I wouldn't appreciate that crap at all!

[Dervill Crow]

32. I am so sorry.

I would bet that the vet's heart was in the right place and you would be doing him and everyone else a favor by letting him know your reaction.

Back in my days as a Lutheran, the assistant pastor of my church did something very similar when he performed the funeral service for my mom, who was NOT a Christian. I don't think he even realized that his "gospel presentation" basically announced that my mom was going to hell. Evangelical Christians don't have a clue how inappropriate and rude they are because they tend to hang out with other evangelical Christians. The vast majority of them honestly think they are helping when they are just being insulting.

[Dear Maggie]

34. what kind of cancer?

I am sorry about your cat, too

On another thread a person shared how their dog came down with autoimmune hemolytic anemia ... and that is the foundational FATIGUE that humans with CFS, CFIDS & 'gulf war syndrome' have (Per my theory & the definitions of these which have a FATIGUE the doctors do not know)

Anyway, vets have more info on these cancers that can be caused by a common cleaning and degreaser chemical than MDs do

If you want to find out about that, check it out on the search engine & 3 out of 5 should be from those who care for our animals

Someone in my family has a dog that is falling apart and is only about 4 years old. Dog just had an operation for a ligament that burst (doing nothing). The dog has been getting allergy shots & has had an ear irrigation and ointment drops. Well, why not stop using those aerosols that have 'the chemical' Look on the back of PAM and besides the nice olive oil, etc. The container says 'propellant'

These chemicals again; plus, most likely ethylene oxide (Any exposure is cancer causing)

I say to this pet owner that she should stop exposing her dog to chemicals & the allergy and other health ailments will slow down or stop. Then there are the glyconutrients that may be a help for pets and babies and others harmed ... to stop the autoimmune stuff

On topic: That was a very insensitive pamphlet. Best that it not be handed out, unless someone is visiting with you and seems interested. Don't think it helped very much, as you can attest

[BrklynLiberal]

35. I am sorry that you lost your sweet cat...it is always so difficult.

Maybe you should find out if the vet knows the receptionist gives out this propaganda. Perhaps this is her own idea, and the vet does not even know about it and might not approve. Either way, I would let them know that it is inappropriate.
EDIT: Just reread your note and saw that the Vet does know about it. Sorry.
It is inappropriate. I would get your baby's ashes, then let them know how I feel, and then find another vet.

[idiosyncratic]

37. So sorry for your loss and, I am also a Christian and think

that little leaflet was completely inappropriate. Our actions should be what draw people to faith . . . not unsolicited proselytizing.

Before I became a Christian, that sort of pushy propaganda would have hardened my heart even more.

That vet is doing the wrong thing on many levels.