Cheesus Christ - We got searched for cheese at the airport

[donhakman]

What a friend we have in cheeses - hymn
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What a friend we have in cheeses
Chedder munster and Guryere
But what a hassle tis to carry
past security at US Air.

O what peace we often forfeit
O what needless pain we bear
All because we carried cheeses
on board a flight of US Air.

We were fondled and then X-rayed
Because of troubles in the air
The screener had trememdous courage
to plunge their hands in underwear.

Did we seem a fiend unfaithful
who would bomb without a care
Jesus is our cheese a weakness
in security at US Air.


Are we weak from ol bin Laden
cumbered with a load of care.
The guards ran to seek some refuge
from tin wrapped cheese we had to share.


Do the guards despise, forsake you?
at air ports everywhere
They are armed and may likely shoot you
if they find some cheese in there.


By the time this made the papers
the head line was in total error.
Capture: praise and endless worship
for the guards at US Air.



true story put to a hymn by Don Hakman -

[Coventina]

1. That is a masterpiece!!

Of course, one has to be familiar with the original hymn to appreciate, so your audience may be limited.

[progressoid]

2. Blessed are the Cheese makers

...

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Owner: no

Customer: Parmesan,

Owner: no

Customer: Mozarella,

Owner: no

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Owner: no

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Owner: no

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Owner: no

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Owner: Not 'today', sir, no.

Customer: Aah, how about Cheddar?

Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Owner: Not 'round here, sir.

...

[donhakman]

3. ITs a bit runny sir

I like it runny

[Village Idiot]

4. Customer: Wensleydale?

Owner: Yes, sir.

Customer: Ah - you have Wensleydale, then?

Customer: No sir. Wensleydale's my name, sir.