Is it okay to be gay and still be in the closet?

[PartyPooper]

I'm gay and not everyone knows. I grew up in the 1950's at a time it wasn't cool to be homosexual. Some of my family and friends know I'm gay...others do not. I've been with my partner for the past 30 years, too.

Am I a hypocrite? Should I be more open? Perhaps I should be. I don't know.

But, I still don't feel comfortable telling just "anyone" and "everyone" that I am gay. I don't think it's any of their business!

What do you think?

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Whatever is right for you...

...is right for you.

And it was perfectly fine for McGreevey to come out.

[Plaid Adder]

2. IMHO nobody can tell anyone how and when to come out.

Unless you're a right-wing hatemongering politician, in which case all bets are off.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[kanrok]

3. It is no one's business but yours and your partner's

Live and let live, brother.

[ibegurpard]

4. Are you a governor?

Pretending to be a family man and opposing the idea of gay marriage while keeping a male lover on the side? Appointing your lover to a key position in government?

No? Then I agree it's no one's business.

[jjmalonejr]

Was McGreavy opposed to gay marriage?

I hadn't heard that before.

[Jackpine Radical]

8. Actually, I even have problems with outing political hypocrites,

you know, gay RW politicians playing to the homophobe crowd. That's because the outing takes advantage of a particular vulnerability they don't share with homophobes who are "straight" but equally despicable. I don't say the outing shouildn't be done, but I can't imagine taking pleasure in doing so.

[jjmalonejr]

5. People disagree about this, but I think your sexuality is your business.

[Gildor Inglorion]

6. Yes, of course

It's also OK to be openly gay. I don't deny it, but I also don't force everyone to acknowledge it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. :hug:

[slinkerwink]

7. It's ok, I'm out to almost everyone but my parents

[Dookus]

9. I think coming out should be a goal

for all gay people, while recognizing it can be very difficult. But it should be a priority.

[cally]

10. Of course it's OK

Whatever is right for your personal and professional life. I'm still not sure I'm comfortable outing the hypocrites but anyone else should just live their life. Congrats on a 30 year partnership.

[lostnfound]

11. Yes, you get to pick your battles in life.

Well, sometimes you do. If you're born as a visibly-distinguished minority you don't. But you're right, it's not any of their business. It's your private life.

As long as you're not also out crusading against homosexuality.

[flaminbats]

15. no person should get promoted or a job for having sex with the boss..

having sex with the boss is a cheap way to score points or get ahead. I hate it when any person does this, regardless of sexual preference! I don't like to reopen old wounds, but did Monica really have any business being a White House intern? How many qualified people are denied internships or government jobs because Republicans or Democrats just want to fuck around? :shrug:

[Djinn]

12. why should you have to tell anyone and everyone

I don't tell people my sexuality when I meet them, "Hi I'm Djinn and I like guys" just doesn't seem to come up in conversation.

Never having been in the situation so this is just an opinion from the outside but why should gay people have to "come out" - how many heterosexuals ever sit their parents down and tell then their sexuality, or "out" themselves as straight to their co-workers, maybe the rest of us just need to stop assuming that people are straight until we're told otherwise.

[PartyPooper]

14. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to

have a nice "Father's Day"...or, "Be good to your wife on Mother's Day", etc.

Usually, I just smile and say, "Yes, I will, thank you."

:-)

[Djinn]

16. I s'pose

that given the majority of people are "straight" (don't really like that word) it's a fair enough assumption but the fact that anyone cares is weird to me, people are often surprised if I don't pick certain people as gay - but I don't "pick" them as straight either, I just don't have the issue on top of my priorities when meeting someone - Republicans, freeps, fundies et al - now THEM I can pick a mile off!

[malatesta1137]

13. I came out very recently

at the age of 35 and I know where you are coming from.

If I knew how my family and friends would react, I would've done at the age of 21, or earlier. Even my parents were 'cool'.

Believe me, only after you come out that you realize that the whole thing's not a big deal. Being gay or coming out.

Don't volunteer the information, but if the topic comes out or if someone asks you, TELL THE TRUTH.