It is very tough to be a Republican in 2004 because...

[prodigal_green]

...somehow, you have to concurrently believe that: (my boss e-mailed me this this morning)

Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

Standing Tall for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, but then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies make huge profits and have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

It is okay that the Bush family’s Carlyle Group has done millions of business with the Bin Laden family.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he was our buddy, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, but then a bad guy again when Bush junior needed a prop for his reelection campaign as the war President.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about WMD existence to enlist support for an unprovoked, undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands soldiers and civilians die, is, somehow, solid defense policy in a War against Terrorism.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which should include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s Harken Oil stock trade should be sealed in his Daddy’s library, and is none of our business.

What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960s was of vital national interest but what Bush did in the 80’s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Affirmative Action is wrong, but it is OK for your Daddy and his friends (here and in Saudi Arabia) to get you to graduate from Yale without studying much, to dodge the draft in the Texas Air National Guard, to bail out your companies (Harken Oil and the Texas Rangers), to get the Governorship of Texas and then to have the Supreme Court appoint you President of the USA.

You are a conservative, but it is OK to spend like there is no tomorrow and run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same refunding as much tax money as possible to rich people who do not need it.

Contemplating these illogical paradoxes can take a toll on a healthy mind. So if a friend of yours has been acting a bit dazed and confused lately, be nice: he or she may be a Republican.

[gtar100]

1. Excellent!! Well said.

[MadcityRock]

2. Reptilian brain; bicameral minds

I love paradoxes, so thanks for sharing these. There was a DU thread about the "triune brain" that reminds me of Julian Jaynes' "bicameral mind" theory that I use to explain how self-styled "christians" can be simultaneously torturers and killers; that it's some kind of pre-conscious obedience to voices in the head due to faulty neural wiring. So I disagree that repukes might be "dazed and confused" by paradox -- that only happens to a healthy mind.
-----------------------
Contemplating these illogical paradoxes can take a toll on a healthy mind.
So if a friend of yours has been acting a bit dazed and confused lately, be
nice: he or she may be a Republican.
------------------------
Despite the long history of brutal US interventions abroad, neo-derthal-con folks I know can't even hear or process that "our" America could possibly do any wrong. When we torture it's OK because Saddam was really bad. Incinerating innocent children from the air is OK because "they" didn't mind doing that to "our" innocent people in the World Trade Center. Unprovoked invasion is better than letting "them" do their car bombings and beheadings over here. Etc, etc.

I contend that where the reptilian brain dominates, the person physically cannot be aware of the other side of a paradox, like a stroke, alzheimer's or head-injury victim, or some vulgar pig-boy oxycontin abuser. Becoming "born again" or succumbing to other types of cult indoctrination is, imho, a way to resolve the stresses of the paradoxes inherent in being human, once and for all short of suicide. True belief gets rid of conflicting voices when the gods quarrel between the ears, and all too often results in torture and death for others.

[prodigal_green]

3. I started an earlier thread about cults

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=1892563&mesg_id=1892563

I think the chimpministration fits the description of a mind-control cult. See, in particular, the text about character assassination and inability to criticize (Powell, Clarke before he finally had enough, etc.).

And WELCOME to DU!!

[MadcityRock]

5. Is deprogramming possible?

Thanks again for the welcome, prodigal; nice to find a kindred spirit who's also read Julian Jaynes.

The collusion of multiple cults mentioned in your earlier thread makes me wonder if there's any cure for cult mentality. Are True Believers who have to be kidnapped for deprogramming ever restored to rational consciousness? Or is the stress of rehearsing the consequences of possible alternative actions (in analog space-time) so intolerable that they can only trade one belief system for another?

Can a PNAC/freeper become conscious, or get a conscience, by hearing or seeing something like F911? Seems that once the doors of perception slam shut there's no going back.

[candy]

4. I had lunch with 3 Republicans yesterday.

Good,longtime friends,but we never discuss politics.

[cthrumatrix]

6. they know not all bush says is true...and he sounds like an idiot

that is hard for them...

[hunter]

7. Most people don't have a boss like yours...

Instead they get cute little emails from their bosses about all the good we've done in Iraq and Afghanistan, about how our soldiers are helping little kids, etc., and rants about how that fat a..hole Michael Moore isn't "fair and balanced."