Queer, Fag, Homo, bla bla bla

[cboy4]

Okay, maybe I'm overly sensitive tonight, but
I've noticed since I've been a member of the
DU family, a minority of straight people feel
comfortable using the word "queer" when referring
to gays.

And while I realize 99.9999% of straight DU'ers
are awesome when it comes to supporting gay rights,
I just can't help but cringe when a straight person uses
the words "queer" and "fag."

These words are routinely used by Fred Phelps and other
radical Christian fundamentalists and they'll hurtful. Maybe
that's why I don't like it when straight people use them
too often, if at all.

Sorry. Maybe I just need to chill out, but I had to
finally get this off of my chest. :pals:

[mr_hat]

1. What word do you prefer?

[cboy4]

9. Easy. "Gay"

"I think his brother is gay."

Not: "I think his brother is queer."

I wouldn't feel so strongly about this if
bigots didn't use that word to
put down gay people in their vicious crusade
to deny people like myself basic human rights.

[mouse7]

29. Next question... Is GLBT the only "all-encompassing" term?

This is where I get messed up. Can "gay" be used for anyone in the GLBT community, too?

[cboy4]

34. I think anyone attracted to the same sex

would not object to being called "gay," even
though women are more specifically "lesbians."

You're awesome for being concerned enough to ask! :yourock:

[Streetdoc270]

2. Blame TV....

Queer eye for the Straight guy made the word acceptable usage agin...

[cboy4]

10. Yep, unfortunately you're correct

n/t

[yardwork]

3. I applaud you for speaking out.

Hate speech of any kind is abhorrent. Let's not act like freepers over here!

[oxymoron]

4. Have I missed something?

I'm gay, and I have very rarely seen it on DU. On the rare occasion that a poster has used an epithet, the post has been deleted by the mods.

edit for typo

[cboy4]

38. Yea, it's rare for the most part.....

I'm just trying to be informative rather than critical.
Of course, deletion only wipes away the offending words,
not the hurt feelings as you most likely realize. :-)

[dsc]

5. I admit I really hate that word

It was the word of choice when I was in school. I must have been called that a couple of hundred times in middle school. But, I must say there is a line of thought in the gay community that queer has its own meaning as an acceptable word. I really don't like it. I won't use it myself. But given its comeback I guess I have to accept it from time to time.

[Gildor Inglorion]

18. I agree. I hate it, too.

And I will not use it to refer to myself or to my gay brothers & sisters. The same goes for "fag" and "faggot."

[Archae]

6. It really depends on the context.

For instance, if Phelps says "queer" you know damn well it's out of his pure psychotic hatred.

Most people around here say "queer" to describe something unusual.

On TV, I see shows like "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" using "queer" in a funny way, not being malicious at all.

Among schoolkids, anything not "with it" or that they don't like is "gay."

"Our history teacher is so gay, he gives us homework!"

I very seldom around here have heard the word "fag," when people want to disparage gays, they call them "homos."

[terrya]

7. I personally have a problem with "queer", but that's just me.

My friend. I understand. As an older gay man, I still have a problem with the word "queer". But look at "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"..."Queer as Folk". These are shows with/about gay people.

Now, fag is another issue entirely. Fred Pheips is the one that uses "fag" like a cudgel. Sheer nastiness.

You'll find that the DU family (and that's what I think of DU) uses queer, if they do, thinking that it's ok...because of shows like "Queer Eye". The DU family here is largely supportive of gay people...and any questions they may have about us are ones of genuine curiousity...not out of malice.

We're all family here at the DU, my friend. The rules here are quite explicit about treating each other with respect...and sexual orientation is certainly included in that.

:hug:

Terry

[cboy4]

17. Thanks Terry

I realize most people around here use the word in
a harmless fashion.

But maybe they don't know it's offensive to some
in the gay community like myself.

Yes, the word "queer" is used in some of those titles,
and it doesn't bother me. However, it bothers me when
straight people use that word so freely. I even have
trouble saying it, unless it is indeed part of a title.

Signed,

Mr. sensitive who just got home from a long flight
and needs sleep! :bounce: :-)

[mike1963]

8. I don't really object to the word unless it's in a hateful context...

lots of us 'alternative' folk use it. At the risk of some flaming, I'd point out that the 'N' word is very commonly used by those in the black "community" (whatever that is) among themselves.

I mean, "we're here and we're queer" is a fairly familiar slogan heard in gay pride celebrations...

It's a tough call...
:eyes:

[enkidu2]

11. here is a good rule of thumb

those people in the group (gays, blacks, jews, hispanics whatever) can call themselves whatever they want. Those people outside of the group should probably stick to the words which are inoffensive and reasonably widely accepted by people in the group as such (ie not all blacks agree with the term african americans, especially those more recently from the carribean).
hows that?

[cboy4]

19. Outstanding post enkidu2!!

I couldn't agree more ;-)

[mobuto]

12. My understanding is that

queer refers to a specific political identification for GLBT, etc. people, or at least that's what my GLBT, etc. friends tell me. They identify themselves as queer activists.

I think the term, as always, comes down to context. If its used as an epithet, or even to describe homosexuality in general, then I agree its probably wrong. But it isn't inherently used to offend or to denigrate.

I don't think "Homo" or "Fag" can be used in anything but an offensive manner.

[Rowdyboy]

13. I know queer has been "reclaimed" but it still leaves me

uncomfortable. However, I'm 50 so I remember before it was "re-claimed" and I didn't like it then. Still don't.

That said, I don't get worked up over it. Fag, however, is a different matter. It is totally unacceptable unless you're talking about cigarettes.

[High Sierra Buck]

14. Well not to burst your bubble

And I have nothing at all against gays or gay relationships or anything they wish to do, however, the term is commonmly used amongst gays as well, so, until the term is changed within its own community, I do not seeing it changed elsewhere.

[foreigncorrespondent]

16. Yes...

...but the gay community reclaimed the words to take the sting out of it, so when bigoted people would use them, they wouldn't hurt near as much.

[cboy4]

22. Since you said that you have nothing

against gays, gay relationships, etc.,
am I to assume that you are straight?

You are correct. The word "queer" is often used freely
in the gay community. However, I work with an
African American who I hear on his cell calling
friends "nigga."

There is NO WAY I would ever use that word. Ever....
even though it's acceptable in the black community

[High Sierra Buck]

24. Couldn't the same be said of the term "Straight"

You know, I could care less about sexual orientation, but maybe, just maybe the term "straight", is a bit bigoted in itself. Now I do not take offense personally by being referred to as straight, but, just being the devils advocate here, couldn't that term be considered bigoted as well?

How about we all go by the term of HUMANs and forget the sexual orientation? What difference does it make anyways?

[foreigncorrespondent]

26. The word straight...

...works the same as the word gay.

If you are a person who sleeps with people of the opposite sex, then you are straight.

If you are a person who sleeps with someone of the same sex, then you are gay.

If you are a person who sleeps with both sexes, then you are bisexual.

It is all about labels, and using the right labels rather than using ones to insult a group of people.

[cboy4]

27. Well, in a perfect world....sure, the term "humans"

would be nice! I've never heard anyone claim that
the word "straight" offends them, so I don't believe
that's a valid point (even though I realize you're
playing devils advocate.)
============
"How about we all go by the term of HUMANs and forget the sexual orientation? What difference does it make anyways?"

That's a whole 'nuther subject, but I appreciate your comment.
:-)

[slinkerwink]

15. I don't see any problem in calling myself queer

:hi:

[cboy4]

25. Certainly you can call yourself anything you wish

or am I missing your point?

[LiberalManiacfromOC]

20. I hate that word!!!

I once screamed at a kid (my age, 14 yrs. old now) because he called someone a fag!!! Thank you for speaking out!

[ldf]

21. then there is also "cocksucker"

bandied about when someone is trying to emphasize their dislike.

like thats a bad thing.

:-)

[High Sierra Buck]

28. ROFLOL, what wrong with that?

hehehee, nothing wrong with a good one....hmmm, maybe thats outa line....could not resist though

[Lavrenty Beria]

31. Can A "Wrong" Word Be Used for the Right Purpose

Recently at my local coffee house, I heard this Limbaugh dittohead railing on about how much of a pussy liberals are. I called him a "cocksucker" and asked him what he was gonna do about it. He left.

[cboy4]

32. Naughty ;-)

[freeforall]

23. cboy4, I'm with you on this one.

I'm straight, and I hate hearing anyone - including gays! - using these demeaning words.

To my ears, when straight people use those terms it signifies contempt; when gay people use them, it signifies lack of self-acceptance.

Gay is fine. One of its lesser-used meanings is "light-hearted and cheerful" (OED). If you're gay and courageous enough to admit it, then use empowering words, not self-degrading ones.


Just my 2 bits!

[ConsAreLiars]

30. Meanings depend on context

"Queer" is used by GLBT (youth especially) to indicate the common interests of all, and as a counter to earlier (historically) tendencies toward bashing of the "others" within that broader group. My daughter faced a major challenge to uniting all GLBT folks in a metro area for a first-ever show of solidarity and demand for rights a few years ago, and was particularly successful in bringing in folks from non-white communities, and the "queer" label became very much a centerpiece of this battle for and against unity.

It's also used by bigots as a slur, as are the other two. In that sense it's a lot like "liberal." Whether it is meant as a pejorative or an assertion of our common humanity and rights depends very much on the attitudes held by the one using it. By refusing to use the word in a positive context, we abandon the fight to win this little semantic battle and bit of meme-space, and by defaulting give them a victory. Until someone comes up with a short and snappy catch phrase to express the common oppression faced by GLBT folks, I think we are better off making the word a positive, or neutral in meaning, especially since this is a goal of many withing the GLBT struggle.

As for myself, I think most people are bit queer (in the generic meaning) in some way, and that is a good thing. As for those who think they are NOT queer at all, well they are really strange.

[arewethereyet]

33. queer : homesexuals use this term to describe themselves

why shouldn't I ?

"damn queer" I can understand is wrong.

[MonicaR]

35. Not all GLBT peeps...

use the term 'queer' to describe themselves. African-Ameriocan GLBT peeps use the term 'same gender loving person.'

[cboy4]

36. If you want to insult me and call me a queer,

then you certainly have that right.

It may not have been intentional, but you know what, you
really phrased your question in an arrogant manner.

For crissakes, what is so difficult about using the
word "gay!?!?!?" ...especially if people like myself
don't like the word "queer?!?!"

Is it okay to say "nigga" as long as you don't
say "damn nigga?"

And before you say there are no programs on TV with
the word "nigga" in it, that's because it's still okay
in this country to openly hate gays.

Could you imagine a TV show where the girl is blindfolded
and has to try to pick out the black guy by virtue of his
stereotypical mannerisms? Please.

[foreigncorrespondent]

37. Yes gay folk do use the term...

...but YOU need to understand that unless you are gay, it will be an insult.

Do you like being called a breeder? Because that is the same area that the words queer and fag are in.