Lie Pool!

[jmowreader]

Tuesday night George Bush will once again perform an impeachable offense by delivering a lie-filled State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress.

Here is your task: Pre-analyze the SOTU using the following guidelines:

a. How long will it take him to deliver the first lie from the time he starts speaking? You may use minutes, seconds, or (if you have a time code generator) SMPTE frames.
b. How many lies per minute will he utter?
c. How many total lies will he deliver?
d. What will be the worst lie he will deliver?

My guesses:
a. 93 seconds. It will take him a minute and a half to sit down and get out the requisite preamble about the Constitutional requirement for a State of the Union address. At that point, the bullshit will flow freely.
b. One lie per minute. He speaks slowly and uses words not found in any published dictionary, so one lie per minute is all he has time for.
c. Fifty-five: thirty major lies, twenty-five little fibs.
d. He will claim that the war in Iraq is going well and that the troops are happy to be there.

[salinen]

1. Do you know where

they sell barf bags in bulk?

[asjr]

2. Right!

You may be able to corner the market with them. They will be much in demand.

[jmowreader]

3. Call your local airport

If they won't sell you a skid of them, they'll know where to get them.

[lovedems]

4. Who here is going to watch it? I don't intend to.

I don't think I could sit through the republican love fest. You know, all the standing ovations from the flag wearing creeps. My children don't need to hear those cuss words anyway.

[KharmaTrain]

5. Let's Play "Hi George"

If this oxygen thief is going to take up all the channels, might as well make the most of it... Do shots or bongs or whatever to the following:

- Use of the word "terror" (pronounced "tear")
- Mention of "Rape Room" or other primordial titalation for RW monkeys
- "Noble Cause" or variations thereof
- Any smirk, grimace, spit, crotch grab, snort or typical * contortion
- (For those inhaling...): Hold in during pauses where the doofus expects an applause line but the GOOP cheering section doesn't immediately start aping.

- A TV shot of prominent Democrats (Hillary for certain, Daschele and Ted Kennedy looking away, picking their noses or laughing.

These are just a few...add on if you'd like.

Guaranteed, you'll be as wasted as Chimpster in no time.

[Individualist]

6. Add

use of the word "evil", references to 9/11

[Ilsa]

7. You forgot the part

where DeLay, et al gives him a hand job after he mentions "rape room". I swear, he gets off to the words. Watch his face light up when he says it.

[DUreader]

8. As soon as he says "my fellow Americans" he lies

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