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Wolcott on Ann Coulter Pie Incident

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kskiska Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-23-04 01:08 AM
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Wolcott on Ann Coulter Pie Incident
Feets, Do Ya Stuff
Posted by James Wolcott

Ann Coulter may be a travesty of humanity, as unacceptable a hank of flesh draped on a hanger ever to be foisted upon an ignorant populace hungry for more ignorance. Her racism, her character slurs, her whirlwind talent for rewriting history, her ability to leave a glossy coat of slime on any issue she discusses (when she licks a stamp, it curls up and dies), these are condemnable.

But credit where credit is due. The skank can shift ass on a dime.

When a pair of hooligans tried to attack her with pies during a speaking appearance, an episode broadcast on cable news today, Coulter didn't freeze like a deer in the headlights. She showed lightning reflexes, ducking away from the lectern and running backstage on high heels, which any woman will tell you is difficult to do. Because of her quick getaway, the flying pies wildly missed their target, sparing her a humiliating cream pie bukkake facial that would have made the papers and been downloaded millions of times on the internet.

Perhaps she was a dodgeball champion in school, or perhaps her nerves are so permanently on edge she can sense danger while the rest of us are in our usual fog. One can only conjecture. But I do know that if it had been Jonah Goldberg up there trying out new comedy material, he'd have been wearing dessert.
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The Zanti Regent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-23-04 07:26 AM
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1. Priceless
Lets hope that folks with better aim (and rotten tomatoes, eggs, and pies) await Little Annie Fanny wherever she goes...
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Tangledog Donating Member (312 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-23-04 10:18 AM
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2. "When she licks a stamp...."
This guy's a really good writer!
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