Kung Fu Monkey: "Wait, Aren't You Scared?"

[Rose Siding]

Blogger gold from John Rogers who "started doing stand-up in 1988, got his Physics degree in 1990, began writing television in 1995, writing movies in 1999, and writing comics in 2005. He plainly needs to focus."

To be honest, it's not like I'm a brave man. I'm not. At all. It just, well, it doesn't take that much strength of will not to be scared. Who the hell am I supposed to be scared of? Joseph Padilla, dirty bomber who didn't actually know how to build a bomb, had no allies or supplies, and against whom the government case is so weak they're now shuffling him from court to court to avoid the public embarassment of a trial? The fuckwits who were going to take down the Brooklyn Bridge with blowtorches? Richard Reid, the Zeppo of suicide bombers? The great Canadian plot that had organized over the internet, was penetrated by the Mounties on day one, and we were told had a TRUCK FULL OF EXPLOSIVES ... which they had bought from the Mounties in a sting operation but hey let's skip right over that. Or how about the "compound" of Christian cultists in Florida who were planning on blowing up the Sears Tower with ... kung fu?

And now these guys. As the initial "OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THEY CAN BLOW US UP WITH SNAPPLE BOTTLES!!" hysteria subsides, we discover that these guys had been under surveillance, completely penetrated, by no less than three major intelligence agencies............

Maybe it's just, I cast my eyes back on the last century ...

FDR: Oh, I'm sorry, was wiping out our entire Pacific fleet supposed to intimidate us? We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and right now we're coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses. How's that going to feel?

CHURCHILL: Yeah, you keep bombing us. We'll be in the pub, flipping you off. I'm slapping Rolls-Royce engines into untested flying coffins to knock you out of the skies, and then I'm sending angry Welshmen to burn your country from the Rhine to the Polish border.

US. NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike ... NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! Quick, do whatever we tell you, and believe whatever we tell you, or YOU WILL BE KILLED BY BROWN PEOPLE!! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!!

... and I'm just a little tired of being on the wrong side of that historical arc.

http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2006/08/wait-arent-you-scared.html

[mac56]

1. K & R

This rocks.

[glitch]

2. Hilarious, thanks for posting.

"FDR: Oh, I'm sorry, was wiping out our entire Pacific fleet supposed to intimidate us? We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and right now we're coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses. How's that going to feel?" :rofl:

[patdem]

3. This is one of the GREATEST posts I have EVER read..why have I

not heard of this person before? You selfish little sluty baby! :yourock:

Edit: why not cross post to GD it will get more readership. This guy needs to be seen more!

[Rose Siding]

4. I agree.

I haven't read him before either. Just picked it up in comments at fdl, now it's on their front page. I thought it would take off here, but I'll cross post. :hi:

ed: It's here, if you wanna bump it :)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=1895779&mesg_id=1895779