Just What America Needs - A Car Even Bigger Than the Hummer

[Stone_Spirits]

-OMG!


Published on Wednesday, November 10, 2004 by the Independent / UK

Just What America Needs - A Car Even Bigger Than the Hummer
by David Usborne


NEW YORK - It may not be long before drivers of the Hummer - the steroid-laden sports utility vehicle favoured by the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger - get a fright when they look in their rear-view mirrors.

Trailing them will be a set of wheels even bigger, greedier and more eye-catching than their own.

The US Army and the Chicago manufacturer International Truck and Engine Corporation are jointly developing a replacement for the venerable Humvee troop transporter, from which the Hummer was derived.

Last week, prototypes of the so-called "Smart Truck 3" were displayed at a trade show in Las Vegas. The army also wants the vehicles to be marketed to other customers such as government agencies or regular Joes who only feel right using a stepladder to get behind thewheel.

-more-
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/story.jsp?story=581260

[Mr. Sinister]

1. These wasteful monstrosities could be avoided...

if plastic surgeons could only perfect penile enhancement.
Really big guns would probably go too. Not sure about cigars.

[Seabiscuit]

34. Well put. This is fuckin' sicko!!!

I'm reminded of the scene in the Titanic where Rose is sitting at dinner listening to the rich bastards boasting about the "size" of the titanic and commenting about Freud's view of the male obsession with "size".

Here in San Diego, I keep seeing little signs on stop signs that say: "Soldiers are dying in their Hummmers in Iraq so you can play soldier in yours."

[Obviousman]

2. i sure am glad americans are dying so i can drive this car!

[MattG]

3. You know it would be cheaper . . .

just to buy a shirt that says "I have a small pee-pee".

Any pictures of this monstrosity?

[Midnight Rambler]

4. Here's a pic

http://www.yenra.com/smart-truck-3/

All I can say is... WHY?

[Voltaire99]

28. It looks like a murder limousine. (n/t)

[gardenista]

31. Why? Well, first word- 5 letters, starts with small. 2nd word- 5 letters

starts with penis.

[AlFrankenFan]

33. DEAR SWEET LORD JUST PAY THE EXTRA $100 FOR THE PENIS ENLARGEMENT!

:wow:

[Seabiscuit]

36. OMIGAAAAAWWWWDDDD!!!!

That has got to be the sickest weirdo neo-con wet dream I've ever laid eyes on (since seeing Michael Moore document Paul Wolfowitz running his filthy comb through his hair, then through his mouth and spit, then through his hair again, then through his mouth and spit again, then through his hair again, and grinning this sicko grin like the creepazoid little Goblin he is).

[barb162]

19. lol

[Seabiscuit]

35. That's the rational, practical answer, but Hummer buyers aren't either...

They KNOW they have a small pee-pee but are so deathly afraid someone out there might find out, they need to hide it in 5,000 pound armored monstrosity on wheels.

[aquart]

5. Mileage?

[Massacure]

13. The article says the milage is better than the hummer.

[dweller]

14. So that's what...9...9.5

Soldiers per gallon?


what a POS.

dp

[signmike]

24. I don't know

what mileage Hummers get - but I had a Chevy Suburban with a 454 engine and with the California smog crap it got 7 mpg.
I imagine Hummers do more poorly

[Seabiscuit]

37. Make that 9K soldiers/gallon. Just give it a few years.

[Lady Effingbroke]

6. I think this may be the beast...

from THIS ARTICLE

[Stone_Spirits]

7. I can't quite see but..

is that Herman Munster behind the wheel?

[donheld]

29. The only car for me

[AlCzervik]

12. It looks like a combo of a 18 wheeler

and a hummer with a whole bunch of asshole thrown in.

[AgadorSparticus]

17. that is so damn ugly. it looks like something straight from mad max

and the thunderdome. or a hurst on steroids. who the hell would want to be seen in this monstrosity?

[daleo]

38. It looks like a hearse

Which seems appropriate.

[NuttyFluffers]

8. in suburbia, but not in combat zone.

:shrug:

a logic i cannot understand.

so, hey bush! where's that $87 bil? my troops are still dying! oh that's right -- impotent men in mid-life crises need penile replacements. i see. well, as long as you keep me informed where the money goes.

[legally blonde]

9. Just when I thought

that penises couldn't get any smaller . . . :shrug:

[mhr]

10. Don't You Know The Fundies Need More Comfort Waiting For The Rapture

eom

[Liberal Veteran]

11. AKA..."I Can't Believe God Gifted Me With A Micropenis" mobile.

:)

[AgadorSparticus]

15. makes me think of that commercial where people are driving

bulldozers and other humongous earthmovers to drop their kids off at school. :eyes:

[dweller]

16. And for that special occasion

or just a trip to the corner mart




actually saw one of these hogs the other day. It could take a corner at about 3mph...

dp

[G_j]

18. poetry in motion

check out those graceful lines!

[AndyTiedye]

20. Where Do You Park That Thing?

Answer: Anywhere you want. You will barely notice the crunching sound
of the 3 cars that were occupying your space being crushed under your wheels.

[AndyTiedye]

21. Will they actually put some armor on the military version this time?

Those humvees they're using in Iraq don't look so tough after a roadside bomb hits 'em.
Really sucks for our troops, who keep getting killed in those things.
Please tell me they aren't going to make that mistake again.

[G_j]

23. maybe it comes with a welding kit

and some junk iron. That way while desperately trying to fortify your tin box you can pretend you are in Iraq.

[sakabatou]

22. I would consider this an Orga...

... sized vehicle. The Destroyah sized was noted in an old Stupid COnservatives...

[BigBigBear]

25. I can hear

my '79 Scout Traveler, parked in the driveway, purring with admiration.

Sorry, I have a soft spot for Internationals.

[alwynsw]

26. I want one!

[SOS]

27. Meanwhile in Greenland.....

Keep burning that carbon!

[are_we_united_yet]

30. Gee , I can't wait to get one!!!!!

not.


Ya think any one of these gas guzzling idiots read the ACIA that came out recently?

[Bake]

32. Can't wait to see THAT one at the local Kroger store ...

So I can KEY that sumbitch!

Bake

[Revolucionario83]

39. Jesus H. Christ

Great another gas-guzzling tank, thats exactly what this country needs. :mad: