Thousands of Israeli rabbis strike

[hedgetrimmer]

~SNIP~
Government has left salaries unpaid


JASON KEYSER
ASSOCIATED PRESS

JERUSALEM - Thousands of rabbis were on strike today in Israel, threatening to lock cemetery gates and refusing to ritually slaughter livestock to protest months of salary delays and government moves to curb their authority.
Unable to completely forgo religiously mandated duties, Orthodox rabbis who work for the government said they would conduct weddings, but on street corners and in parking lots rather than in elaborate banquet halls.

The government has not paid salaries to 3,000 rabbis and employees of municipal rabbinates and religious councils for more than six months, said Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger. A smaller number have gone without pay or pensions for more than a year.

Metzger said there were concerns the withheld earnings were part of an official plot to undermine their authority over the personal lives of Israelis.

... more ...

link: http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1078917586832&call_pageid=968332188854&col=968350060724
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he he he!!! Gotta get those rabbis back slaughtering animals! Sharon gonna bust up them rabbi teamsters.

[BeHereNow]

1. Memo to Rabbis: From Ariel

Dear Rabbi Community,
Please understand the following reason for
the termination of your services in Israel.
The dominionist x-tians running the US government
are preparing the way for the return of Jeebus.
(Sadly, they have mistaken Jeebus, with Jesus, but
the current adminstration can't be bothered with details
and do not wish to discuss decisions they have made based on
inaccurate information.)
According to the X-tians, all Jews must return to Israel
but convert to Christianity in order for Jeebus to return.
Enormous amounts of money are needed to build a
wall to keep the unclean heathens away from Jeebus
when he returns. The wall will also assure that only
X-tians and Jews are in Israel so that he CAN return.
When this task is accomplished all Jews will be expected
to repent and convert so that Jeebus can return.
That includes you. In other words, don't expect any more
pay checks as Israel is in the process of preparing for
the return of Jeebus, which means, your services are
no longer needed, as the x-tians are in your midst now
to help you convert. We would appreciate your cooperation
in this matter as we know there is no such thing as Jeebus
but we really like the checks that the US sends us to build the wall,
and stockpile weapons, therefore we must give the impression
that we are in the process of eliminating Rabbis and focusing
on conversion to a cult that Jesus never heard of. So, not to worry
about Jeebus, who ever he is, "returning." We will resume
your pay when the wall is paid for and the pipeline from Iraq
is secure. By then we will have enough weaponry to blow
the crap out of the US too, so we will kick all the kooky
x-tians out then and you can resume your duties to our people.
Until our goal is complete, please report for Bible study
at you local X-tian conversion center.
Please DO NOT point out to your Bible teachers that the
New Testament clearly says the opposite of what they
practice and believe. Especially the part about no man
knowing the hour of Jesus' return. They honestly think they
can make it happen through their "works."
Too bad their leader can't actually read, eh?
Oy Vey...

Thank you for your assistance in this matter-
Ariel

Forgot to add:
Sacasm off.
Those poor Rabbis.
What are they supposed to do?
Surrounded by X-tians pressuring for them
to be converted. They are probably the
ones who lobbied Sharon to stop paying them
so that they would be forced to visit their
centers for food so that they could work on
converting them.
BHN

[hedgetrimmer]

2. Praise Jeebus!

My wife and I were laughting so hard our bellies hurt.

[BeHereNow]

3. WE need to laugh

Cause as awful and surreal as it seems,
I GUARANTEE you that is who is behind this!
Israel is CRAWling with fundies right now,
all foaming at the mouth to convert Jews.
In the end, the joke will be on the X-tians
who are pawns of the power elite.
The power elite looked around and said,
"Who can we use? Oh look, there's a VERY large
group of deluded people- HEY, lets claim to
be like them and even let some of them
be in the senate and congress...Bwahahah"

And contrary to what a rather large group
of simpletons believe...Jesus will say to them,
"I never knew you."

BHN

[mobuto]

4. The mohel's union

gets to keep a certain percentage of tips.

[starroute]

5. Ouch!

[xchrom]

6. cold sweat

{uncomfortable laughter} keep the change.

[hedgetrimmer]

7. bump! n/t