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Reply #104: I fear we will never have a chance [View All]

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undergroundpanther Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-12-10 04:29 AM
Response to Reply #91
104. I fear we will never have a chance
to make those so needed changes..Sometimes I just wish I was dead. I feel so powerless watching my means to survive circling round the toilet bowl getting closer to the drain ..The stress of life it is so painful.I can't close my eyes and pretend it's all gonna be ok. I can't pretend or play the denial game.The future is terrifying,and bleak.

I remember a snippet of my time in middle school at lunch listening to the other kids yammer about oh,he's so cute and mork and mindy etc..I wanted so bad to be stupid and unaware too. I envied their ignorant bliss and trivial concerns,the simplicity of their lives contentment with the vapidity ,untouched they seemed by the kind of horrors I was living through that had already made me crazy.. Later that day I tried to ram a pencil through my temple.I guess I thought a self lobotomy might help. When I talk to people here in this suburban wasteland they seem so much like the kids in middle school except it's the kids,the lawn,the dinner party..And I still feel like ramming an icepick in my own skull. I am truly sad and scared of what is happening to this country,this world..
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