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Reply #152: This is one of the most bizarre and uncharitable threads I have ever seen at DU [View All]

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Hekate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-26-10 08:52 PM
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152. This is one of the most bizarre and uncharitable threads I have ever seen at DU
People who end up in nursing homes are usually at the end of life and frail. Often mentally frail. If they could take care of themselves, would they be there in the first place? NO. They are waiting for death, most of them, and it can take a couple of years of deterioration before they check out.

This is one of the most bizarre and uncharitable threads I have ever seen at DU, in addition to which it provides testimony to how many people did NOT read the OP in its entirety. The NURSE filed the suit.

I know for a fact that any number of DUers are caring for or have cared for family members with senile dementia/Alzheimer's Disease/other forms of dementia. A few of them chimed in here -- and a lot of people don't want to listen.

The thing that makes dementia the most heartbreaking is the changes in personality. These are true changes, not a releasing of evil once kept behind a smiling face. A previously kind person may become incredibly mean. My great-grandmother, whom I never met, was adored by all of her older grandchildren. All of her younger grandchildren, my mother included, hated her -- and I mean hated. She had become senile, as they called it then, and it made her mean. There are surviving letters between great-grandmother's adult children and their spouses, in which things were said like: "Well I put the old bitch on the train to you. It's your turn for the next 3 months." Can you imagine how that felt?

None of us here knows what went on in the patient's mind, or in the minds of those responsible for placing her in the nursing home. We really don't know if she was once a bigot, always a bigot, or became fearful of black people when she became senile and non-rational.

Two things come to mind.
One is that the nurse was placed in an impossible situation as regards patient care. A patient on the floor could have a broken hip or a stroke, and she wasn't supposed to step in?

The other is that all of our greatest ethical teachers and religious teachers across many different religions have taught us to take care of the sick and helpless among us, no matter what, no matter how loathsome their condition. Lepers used to be the exemplar of that kind of condition. Helpless old people with mean and ungrateful tongues might be it today.

Think about it.


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