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Reply #22: I feel so honored that you would share all that with me! [View All]

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bobbolink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-17-07 04:25 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. I feel so honored that you would share all that with me!
Please, again, give your wife a hug for me! I have some understanding of what she's been through, and having not even met her, I have a fondness for her in how she's made it through.

It's something like 90% of marriages don't survive the loss of a child, so give yourselves LOTS of strokes for overcoming such odds! There must be a real strength there, now! :applause:

The two couples of the shooters of Columbine are still together, too, and that says to me that, in the middle of all the mess, there was something right there in their relationships. (You may be interested to know that the pastor who was ministering to both couples was run out of town because people were so angry with him for considering these people to be his "flock", also!! How's that for true "christianity"?)

"our modern society has not rituals to deal with loss, so people are at a loss as to what to say."

Absolutely! BUT... the big question is, WHY don't we have these "rituals" in place? It's not like losing a child, or suffering a loss alone is something rare anymore.

Just the other day, I said to a friend that every one of these catastrophies triggers those of us who have, in some way, experienced some of this ourselves, and MOST of us didn't have the kind of outpouring of support that the Columbine or Va. Tech people had. So, how 'bout recognizing that, and putting something into place? It's not like it will never ever happen again!

They need to have a "ritual", as you said, already planned, and a list of churches or other venues where it could be done on short notice, NOT for those directly involved with the crisis in the news, but for those locally who are being triggered by it, and need their own support and consolation.

If we truly want strong families and strong communities, this is exactly what they will do. And if a small brain like mine can think of this, then surely those who are trained in ministry MUST have an inkling!

Again, I appreciate so much your sharing with me what is still painful, and my thoughts will continue to be with you.

:hug: :grouphug: :hug:
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