Reply #26: OK, this just plain sounds like hannibal lecter or dirty harry....

[pepperbear]

Now that I have emphasized the seriousness of this I will offer some practical advise. Cause you son to know that he does not have any say or authority over what foods are set in front of him. You do this by never allowing him to veto your decisions once they are made. If you want to offer him a choice before you prepare the meal, that is gracious of you and perfectly suitable, but never allow him to direct events with anger or ill temper. You must not be angry. No not plead for understanding or acceptance in your role as head dietician. Display indifference with dignity. Rise above petty debate and bickering. Like an army Sargent, state your will and accept nothing less. If he doesn’t like what is on the table and he is rude, send him away from the table and do not let him eat until the next meal. Do not feed him snacks between meals, and let him get good and hungry. He will then eat baby food spinach and love it. If you think it is appropriate and you spank him make sure that it is not a token spanking. Light, swatting spankings, done in anger without courtroom dignity will make children mad because they sense that they have been bullied by an antagonists. A proper spanking leaves children without breath to complain. If he should tell you that the spanking makes him madder, spank him again. If he is still mad…. He desperately needs an unswayable authority, a cold rock of justice. Keep in mind that if you are angry you are wasting your time trying to spank his anger away.

I could break his anger in two days. He would be too scared to get angry. On the third day he would draw into a quiet shell and obey. On the fourth day I would treat him with respect and he would respond in kind. On the fifth day the fear would go away and he would relax because he would have judged that as long as he responds correctly there is nothing to fear. On the sixth day he would like himself better and enjoy his new relationship to authority. On the seventh day I would fellowship with him in some activity that he enjoyed. On the eight day he would love me and would make a commitment to always please me because he valued my approval and fellowship. On the ninth day someone would comment that I had the most cheerful and obedient boy that they had ever seen. On the tenth day we would be the best of buddies.