***Post your ideas here*** to combat the TURFERS (astroturfers)

[ColbertWatcher]

I have a few.

Make sure the fire marshal and police are called

Many of these videos show over-packed rooms, which, once the turfers are escorted out for disrupting, will probably meet local occupancy standards.

If you are not allowed entry due to the limit, simply wait outside for all the turfers to be removed. Do not enter unless given permission by the fire marshal.

Help them expose themselves.

This will take two people: one with copies of the "disruptor memo" and another with a camera.

Outside the venue, volunteer to hand out copies of the memo, explaining to people how helpful it will be.

Take a picture of anyone who says they've already read it.

Once they get violent with you, you've found a turfer!

Respond to their screaming by lowering your voice.

This is a psychological trick I've seen work hundreds of times and when done correctly, can calm even the most belligerent moran.

When one of them starts screaming, respond by being just a wee-bit quieter than they are then, lower your voice with each subsequent response (until you are speaking at a normal tone). Eventually, they won't be screaming anymore. Be sure to make eye contact when talking with them and do not fold your arms!

Respond to their screaming with a short phrase.

Such as:

"We've heard you speak, now it's someone else's turn!"

Respond to their screaming by handing them a cheap prop.

A baby bottle, for instance.

Or a dunce cap.

Respond to their screaming by starting a chant.

Like "USA! USA!"

Chanting this in response to their jeering will confuse them.

Whenever one of them gets up to scream, take their picture.

In this instance, a video camera won't work. Taking their picture makes them think "I.D." They will stop rising if they believe they're photos are being "collected." If anyone of real authority asks, tell them you're making a documentary that will air on Al Gore's Current TV. Be sure the photographer wears an official-looking badge.

Mock them.

Stoop to their level, but have fun while doing it.

Whatever they say, repeat it back to them in a whiny voice and make sure all your friends laugh and laugh afterwards! Just like you used to do to piss off an older sibling.

And, just as they're about to blow their tops, tell them, "I know you are, but what am I?"

It will bring down the house, especially if you can do a good Pee-Wee Herman imitation.

(EDITED TO ADD)

Respond to their screaming by playing music.

I suggest either the theme from Benny Hill or the chicken dance song!

If you play the chicken dance make sure everyone dances and claps their hands, too!.

Okay, those are mine. Anyone else got any?