Reply #74: and so goes the damage left behind.

[SmileyRose]

someone I loved got drunk and beat me up when I was 8 and more or less left me for dead. Nothing near what you went through and it took A LOT for me to trust any man outside my dad and brothers. What I put my husband through the first 10 years of marriage....even AFTER therapy. Even now, every single day I have to tell myself men are not all dangerous fucking assholes hell bent on hurting other people.

I feel for you. I have a small, very small, understanding of where you are coming from. But 23 year old men are not any more or less trustworthy than they were in 1969. The truth is, it's the luck of the draw. Every abuser has their first victim. You can vet someone till the cows come home and they can be the cleanest most upstanding person on the planet. Then they get into your home and for whatever reason decide your kid is the target, your stuff is free for the taking etc. A reasonable amount of checking is called for, and I don't think we know whether or not this mom did that (if that was reported I have not seen it).