Reply #119: Exactly!

[tavalon]

I recently mentioned something very similar about my giving money to people on the street. A friend used the old canard that I shouldn't give people money because they'll just buy booze. I think I floored her when I said that the moment that money left my hand, it stopped being my concern where that money was going to be spent. And that is the only way I give money - if I can't give it cleanly like that, I don't give it. Yesterday a man came by asking for money for a charity that helps homeless vets get back on their feet and I liked his demeanor, he seemed genuine, so I donated. One of my housemates asked me later if I thought the group was legit and my answer was "I did in the moment and that's all that matters to me. In this moment, I need to go do the dishes". He laughed and of course dropped the subject because he knows as well as I do that what I do with my monthly stipend is wholly my choice. I have loaned money to people but always with the caveat that if they can't pay it back, I give it to them as a gift and ask only that the money not be the reason for their leaving the friendship. Some have paid the money back, some have not but I'm doing fine and so are the friendships.