Happy 91st birthday, PHYLLIS DILLER!

[Bluebear]

---"I went to a gay wedding and I caught the jockstrap. In San Francisco, a mixed marriage is a man and woman!" While her rapid-fire one-liners skewered her gawky looks and her unhappy domestic life, she never stooped to homophobic humor—although gays were an easy mark in the McCarthy era. “No, no, no, no,” she said. “In fact, Joan Rivers and I both absolutely insist that we never would have got started without our gay audience. They were the first to actually accept us as funny women.”

---"You know you're old when they've discontinued your blood type."

---"I consider comebacks cheap. And bad taste. It's like those stores that advertise 'Going Out of Business Sale!' and 'Lost Our Lease! Must Sell Everything!' Two weeks later they open another store. Not this kid, baby!"

---"In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours. We were not created by a deity. We created the deity on OUR image. Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE."

---"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."