Reply #190: Russian Roulette. Just plain old good luck.

[TalkingDog]

The tobacco plant is very good at the uptake of Polonium 210 (I'll let you have the fun of the Google search)

P210 is common enough in soils, but the use of commercial phosphate fertilizers concentrates it. Tobacco farmers often use these same fertilizers on their tobacco plants.

The concentrations can vary from one area, one region, one tobacco plant to another. The half life is short, so the fresher to tobacco, the greater the risk of the smoker taking it into their body.

I don't wish any body harm. Smoker, non-smoker, former smoker. But there are quite a few things I would not wish for them.

I would wish for them not to have to lift their now 90 lb mother up so she can sit on the adult potty they've set up beside her bed at home.

And I certainly wouldn't wish for them to have to clean up the shit and piss and wash it off of her limp body after she has massive stroke, seizes up, collapses in their arms.

Because they know she is dying, that this is part of the process, they don't call an ambulance, they don't even call the doctor. They just try to make her comfortable, safe and warm. Even though her brain has just literally exploded, they hope she understands what they are trying to do for her; to keep her safe and warm.

And because they are afraid she might still have some semblence of consciousness, they don't want to worry her by crying or showing her how absolutely fucking terrified they are. How helpless they feel. How worried they are that they could have done more, could be doing more. They can't burden her with that pain. She has enough. So they sit very quietly by her bed. Talking to her gently. Telling her it's going to be fine. Stroking the soft pales skin of her now hairless head. They tell her it will all be over soon. That she will finally be able to rest and not be in so much pain. No more chemo, no more doctors. That the months of worry and pain and suffering are so very close to being over.

I wouldn't wish that kind of harm on anybody.








This is my mother. She died 2 years ago in May. The day before Mother's Day. (She had a wicked sense of humor. I miss that.)





My Favorite Master Artist: Karen Parker GhostWoman Studios