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Reply #16: I used to get really upset about it, but I don't [View All]

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Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Health & Disability » Deaf/Hard of Hearing Group Donate to DU
liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-24-07 11:22 AM
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16. I used to get really upset about it, but I don't
so much anymore. Mellowing with age, I guess! Most people who get irritated with you when you can't hear are usually contrite when they discover your deafness/hearing loss; some even have the sense to be embarrassed about their rude behavior. I figure that the people who aren't contrite and who continue to have a problem with it aren't worth being bothered with. They're not the kind of people I want around me, anyway. Again, I think it's mellowing with age, because it used to upset me greatly. Now, I just think, fuck 'em.

My stepsister used to scream at me to "clean out your ears, damnit!", while we were growing up. Boy, was she red-faced and contrite when I had to begin wearing hearing aids at the ripe old age of 19! My mom had her walk around with cotton stuffed in her ears for just a few hours, just to get a taste of what it was like for me. She couldn't wait to take the cotton out, because she couldn't stand it! At least she had the luxury of doing so, I'm stuck with my ears, lol.

It was actually a built-in "character index" for me when I was dating. If a date or boyfriend had a problem with me not being able to hear, or with wearing hearing aids, then he wasn't the kind of person I wanted to be with, anyway. Unfortunately, it took me awhile to truly realize and accept that, to get to the point where I'd consider it HIS problem and not mine if he had a problem with my hearing. My fiance has no problem with it and totally loves and accepts me for who I am; he has endless patience with having to repeat things or with my constant misunderstandings (even with my hearing aids in, I often have trouble with hearing, the aids are not a cure-all). Unfortunately, not everyone does. Sometimes I don't bother asking people to repeat themselves, I get just as tired of it as they do. Sometimes, I just try and guess what they're saying based on body language, what I hear of their tone, and the context of the situation.

When I got closed-captioning on my tv, I was blown away by how much I'd actually missed over the years and how much I'd misunderstood. Same with movies. I sure wish movies would be closed-captioned in theaters, THAT would make it so much easier!

But, at this point in my life, if anyone has a problem with my lack of hearing, fuck 'em. That's THEIR problem, not mine.

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