Reply #15: He's a card-carrying member...

[Spider Jerusalem]

...of the Joe Smith short-sleeve buttondown and clip-on tie Missionary Brigade (Mormons, to you--he used to be a bishop before he went into politics). If he becomes President, alcohol, tobacco and caffeine will be illegal, and polygamy and special holy underwear will be mandatory. No need to worry, though; he hasn't got a chance--belonging to a weird cult that does strange things like baptising dead people is probably going to cost him support among the GOP base of religious nuts (ironically enough).