My week in Fundiland

[liberal N proud]

I have been traveling for the last two weeks, this was supposed to be a trip to visit various family members scattered across two states. We dubbed the trip as the Family loop.
Started out traveling to my parents who are by all means Democrat, they have spent most of their adult life involved in politics working for Senators at both the state and national levels. My mother worked at the polls for years until she decided she was too old, imagine that since most poll workers are too old to do the job. Considering that, I can’t understand why I am the only one out of the family that grew up with the principles and could be considered liberal. My father is trying to figure out what happened to his kids as well.
The trip started at my parents with two of my brothers showing up. One has seen the light after all these years as he was without work for 6 years, so he was not a problem. The other, brings all new meaning to the term military intelligence as that is what his career involves. This idiot thinks that he is the only on one on the planet who knows anything. Regardless of the subject, he knows more than anyone else at the table, even if it is areas where we our careers take us.
The topics of course had to turn to politics, what family meal is not complete until they do? But our intelligent one who says that he would have to kill us if he told us what he really knew, was so full of contradictions that I made mincemeat of him. The Iraq was came up, a sore subject with my brothers wife who’s daughter is in Iraq. My intelligent brother pipes up at the dinner table with this wonderful quote straight from the talking points: “One thing the Iraq war has done is prevent terrorist attacks in the United States.” I couldn’t resist and just had to ask him how he could prove this. He came across the table at me.
Two hours later, again we were talking about politics and the latest faux terror plot, I mentioned that it was sure convenient that this terror plot was discovered just in time for the political season. These comments, I knew would rile the talking points from the right wing knowledge machine, they went something like this: “You never know when the terrorist will attack, they can attack any time they please.” Thank you very much oh intelligent brother, again, I can not resist the opportunity I look him square in the eye and ask, which is it? Is the Iraq war stopping the terror attacks or can they attack any time? But remember he is the intelligent one and he must remind me of his powers in the military.
The whole weekend was full of fun little interludes like that, then I moved on to visit my wife’s family, and then we must find out the GOD side of things and how ungodly these people who want to attack our country really are. These are again people who are Democrat and involved in politics in the past. I was getting exhausted by this point. So I spent a few days biting my tong so to avoid a fight with my wife who was frustrated with my family but kept her mouth shut while we were there.
Then it is on to visit the rest of my family, the ones who were not at my parents the week end of the family feud. Now, I understand where these people got brainwashed but for the most part, with the exception of one other brother who was also military intelligence at one time have come around. I know he has not changed his position because when I expressed concern when he mentioned that his only son was being sent to Iraq, he corrected me saying that it was a glorious thing he son was doing. Then he pointed out that I am the only scum in the family that has not served in the military since the Civil War.
As for the rest of the family, I have helped them see just how screwed up the country is at the hands of the bu$h regime. We managed through the weekend with out any altercations. One of the nephews is so pumped about bu$h that if he had not been a nephew and I didn’t like my sister I would have suggested to him he sign up and put his money where is mouth is. But I just looked at him and looked at my 13 year old who is very anti bu$h and said you are going to have to straighten this boy out.
Through out the whole two weeks and two state trip, I just felt like my family has turned into fundamentalist.