Reply #84: Stay, Distressed American! Here's my policy if it helps...

[Peace Patriot]

First of all, I WANT to hear what the type of posters you are talking about have to say. It's a rare opportunity to plug into the collective unconsciousness that produces hatred, war, witch-hunting and oppression. And the hysteria that we see in the defenders of Israel's aggression--this automatic rebuke of anti-semitism to any criticism of Israel--is especially telling. I won't go into what I think of it all here--what it's telling me, and what potential solutions are--I'm just saying I find it useful, educational and thought provoking. And I try to work on that great Buddhist quality called "detachment." It is not coldness--it's the opposite of that--it's "detachment" from one's own stance, one's own ego needs in the argument, in an effort to bring compassion to a discussion that is fraught with anger and fear.

Secondly, I try to bear in mind the AUDIENCE--the great number of "lurkers" (curious people, people seeking info, trying to form their own views) and others who may not engage in the discussion very much, but are following it. Think of it as a DRAMA. Believe me, people do NOT automatically think you are an anti-semite because someone calls you that name. If the other side is irrational and unfair, IT SHOWS! Let it play out. Don't react so much on the basis of personal insult. Remember that old rhyme: "Sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words can never hurt me!" There was a lot of wisdom in that.

If I decide to respond, I ALWAYS take a deep breath first--if I am pissed off at this kind of uncivil behavior--and reply as intelligently and cleverly as possible. If the nasty poster is redeemable--is just spouting stupid things out of ignorance--you might find some common ground. And if the poster is a mere troublemaker--naturally, or is being paid for it--that will become obvious, and you can simply ignore future posts. The point is not to get defensive, and to try to raise the discussion out of the school yard level--where bullies have the advantage--onto a higher plain, where they DON'T have the advantage.

There have been a number of harmful campaigns here at DU--on various issues. This isn't the first. I have come close to leaving DU myself because of some of them. I think it's better to try to FIGURE THEM OUT--and try to help restore useful discussion, if you can. We are seeing something like a "marketplace of ideas" here at DU--good and bad. A REAL debate--with attendant ill and good motives, probably with some paid operatives and saboteurs, just as would be the case if we were sitting in an ancient Greek town square, where anyone may speak. We have to develop our debating skills! The corporate news monopolies have shut us all up for too long. We need to re-learn how to think, how to persuade, how to deal with hecklers and how to communicate with each other about our government and the world. The DU Election Forum--the scene of many a similar bloody battle--is yet a good example of how well this open forum can work, and what a great contribution it can make to the recovery of our democracy.

I urge you not to give up on it, Distressed American! You are a highly valued member of DU. We need you! Take a break if you need it. But do come back!