Reply #47: And the saddest thing is

[undergroundpanther]

Some people are not cut out to be parents,they don't have the temperment..or mental stability for kids,but they have kids to take care of THEIR own emotional needs.Because they are unhappy,lonely,or not getting their needs met in their life or relationship they have a baby. As if a new baby will fixit up and erase the stress and problems inside an adult's mind or heart or fix an adult relationship going sour..

It seems kinda sadistic for unhappy parents who can't deal with themselves or their own emotions or deal with each other with any intimacy or honesty to bring an innocent baby into a hellish relationship that is unhappy already is nuts.It's really sad on all levels especially when there is birth control ,morning after pills and abortion are available..A wanted kid might not be wanted for who they are,but for what they can do for the parents,So basically the kid IS unwanted,because they are not wanted for who they are they are born to serve a parental need,this does not respect a baby's person hood. To me this kind of self serving motive for bringing a child into a dangerous crazy world like this one is,is really sick and setting up the child to risk being wounded in some way.

Sometimes being a good parent is knowing yourself and admitting you are not cut out to raise kids.

I don't ever want kids,because I would not make a good parent.
People tell me I am great with kids,and their kids like me,get all happy when I come over..and all.
But I don't think I am great enough with kids to go and raise one myself. When you visit others kids,they are not yours.. you can go home and unwind, But if the kid is there 24-7,needing your time,attention and all you never get a chance to be you.

Kids are demanding because of who they are,they're young,and I think communal care (like Native Americans did) is way better way to raise up people than the nuclear family property model because if kids are raised by many people who all live near each other and know each other well, the biological parents get time to decompress and work on their relationships.

While those who are good with kids in short bursts can share the burden of the attention demands of being around kids.And kids can play with other kids..and not be so bored and drive their parents nuts..

"Native Americans have a very high regard for children," he says. "In the Lakota language, the word for child means 'standing sacred.' Children are treated respectfully and there is no punishment. This is in contrast to the Dickensonian approach to child-rearing brought to this country by the English. Adults felt they had to punish children to shape them.
http://www.turtletrack.org/Issues01/Co11032001/CO_11032001_Childrearing.htm

Any parent screaming at their kid to shut up isn't seeing the'standing sacred' inside the kid anymore. Standing sacred means to me the independent,unique Sacred person hood in all people that stands tall and great if it is respected as sacred and precious and not to be bullied from day one..