Reply #133: Not his wife. 8 months pregnant and he wouldn't marry her.

[Divernan]

The penultimate prick in this story is the drunk driver that hit another car headon at 6 pm on a Saturday night. There are many, many more alcoholics driving drunk on the weekends than there are atheists who say 2 weeks is 2 weeks - although I grant you, that burying a cross is bizarre.

That surviving "fiance" is also a "prick", to use the word of choice in this thread. A lot of people are having children nowadays without bothering to get married. That's their choice. But it amazes me if they refer to each other as fiancees under these circumstances. That word describes someone who has made a commitment to get married. IF you're going to get married, the time to do it is before the child is born. If giving your child the gift of being "legitimate" is not worth getting married for, than what else would be? I googled the local news stories on this death and the story was that the young man had just dropped his new motorcycle off at his parents' house and the couple were driving to where they lived. So he "lived with" her but kept his new toy at his parents' house. Her family had had a baby shower for her. She was Italian Catholic - I think it's reasonable to think that she wanted to get married, with a bridal shower and a wedding and a honeymoon.

Sounds like this guy wasn't ready to formally tie the knot and settle down. They were living together, but he kept his new bike at his parents? If he had the money for a new motorcycle, he could have afforded a honeymoon instead. How many female DUers would be happy to be expecting a child by a guy who was more interested in playing with a bike than growing up and getting married?
I think this young man is racked by guilt for how he treated his "fiance" in the 8 months since THEY became pregnant. And as often happens when we're in an accident, we think, if I had only driven a different route, or left 5 minutes earlier, or run that errand yesterday. I expect he thinks, if I hadn't insisted on buying that damn bike, we wouldn't have been on that road at that time. But this guy isn't mature enough to handle these unpleasant truths, so he makes a big deal about visiting the accident site everyday to prove to everyone and himself that he cared about her. Well guess what, she's dead and gone and it's too late for him to do anything for her, including to make her as happy as she would have been if he had said, "A baby? Great, let's get married."