Reply #6: There's a a lot to this topic

[supernova]

Where do I start?

I started to write a long essay about how I "abandoned" my husband 15 years ago (from his POV) . Believe me, it was necessary. And I wasn't going to stick around and listen to his "victim" act. He might have needed to have that, but I, in equal measure, didn't need to witness it.

I'm sure there is a subset of husbands doing just what the author describes, for whom even personal relationships are disposable and interchangeable like car parts This is entirely reprehensible. For others it's more complicated. It can be quite easy for a man or a woman to realize in midlife that what they have isn't what they wanted or even needed. There are a whole host of cultural and personal reasons that can result in just that situation. it takes a partner willing acknowledge that you need a change and to change and grow with you. That's a an unobtainable luxury for some. I can see it being doubly so if you have a partner who is so invested in the present, possibly with kids in tow, that they don't see a need for any change or are indeed frightened of the prospect. So much so, they can become resistant, even recalcitrant to a "new" you.

If you feel a genuine need for a mental and emotional growth spurt, but have a partner who is not lovin' it, what do you do?