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WhirlyGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-02-05 05:34 PM
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A new BLOG w/ a shout-out to Rev ... 5-2-05
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Edited on Mon May-02-05 05:35 PM by WhirlyGirl
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Desperate To Not Become Housewives, Part Two
By Keith Olbermann

SECAUCUS - May 2, 2005 - The epidemic of crimes against journalism in America is apparently a lot more serious than we thought. Saturday, I quoted from memory Bill O'Reilly's typically overwrought introduction to the tabloid story-du-jour. I came pretty close, I must say, but even I missed some of his later "thoughts."

"The epidemic of crimes against women and children in America continues with the disappearance of 32-year old Jennifer Wilbanks from an Atlanta suburb," intoned the Big Giant Head. Moments later, still omniscient, he added "It's got to be a crime. A woman like that with a long history of responsibility. She had a steady job... She just wouldn't bolt and not tell anybody." Fortunately, Mr. O'Reilly wasn't the only one stepping neck deep in it. Over to CNN Headline News, where Nancy "None Of You Are Innocent" Grace was nearly as convinced: "I just don't believe it's a case of cold feet." . . .

Prosecution (or at least getting a bill for the $100,000 the police say they incurred searching for her) only covers part of Jennifer Wilbanks' possible debt to society. Perhaps equally as important: her etiquette deficit. What about the fiancee? What about the 600 guests? What about the gifts? $10,000 worth of them had already been purchased by relatives and friends of Ms. Wilbanks and her intended, John Mason. Through the miracle of the on-line registry, you and I can get a Peeping-Tom-like look at somebody's taste in wedding gifts. Ms. Wilbanks' seems to have been pretty routine, except for one thing: a kind of cheese fixation.

Among the items purchased at her registry: a cheese wire slicer ($9.99), a two-piece cheese server set (that's one knife and one slicer for $29), a cheese server (that's a tray, not a person $35), a full cheese set (marble serving board, cheese knife, cracker tray $49), a set of four cheese spreaders ($29), and, best of all, the mighty and essential "Cheese Dome" ($19). That's what made her run right there -- the Power of Cheese!

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