how do you ever ever trust again?

[mzteris]

I've had trust issues all my life (child abuse, bad choices in men, etc...). Yet it seems that those "suspicions" and questions and doubts have always "proved out", ya know? So it paid to be a bit paranoid and questioning in the end.

And yet, my relationship now - this guy seems so wonderful and seems so sincere -but still I question every little thing. I doubt. I suspect. I makek "jokes" about where's he's been and what he's been doing. I'm suspicious of the least thing and then try to create scenarios that fit my suspicions.

How do I ever get over that?