Reply #22: The first time

[Why Syzygy]

I went to a LOA meetup . which is nothing more than meeting with a group of 15-20 people who believe we are all okay, but don't have our heads up our butts, no Robbins, no cheerleaders, just normal people voicing to each other what they need from an abundant universe.. it is really quite calming. Although I do get itchy sometimes.

You remember the scene in "The Secret" where the suits are sitting around the table and are all in agreement with what they will posess. It is very vague in the film. But that's what they were doing. Making a circle of agreement.

The first meeting I went to, I thought that a certain job was going to 'solve my problems'. I had it all worked out, you see? I didn't say anything at the meeting. Was playing shy for some reason. But I knew what I expected. I needed $1500 w/i a week. Really w/i a month, but I set my intention on a week. Well, a few days later an extra $500 came into my checking account. I had no idea why, exactly. It could have been from some things I have been working on the past few months.

This is something I know from my prior escapades into financial realms. I used to keep a tight eye on every penny. We always had everything we needed. My ex-dh would sometimes miss a month or two during the winter due to weather. He worked outside. If North Texas is frozen over, he didn't get to work. But we made it. Always. No one ever kicked us out or took our property.

My approach lately is much looser. I can't do the spreadsheets like I used to. I draw up a chart, if I can even find the electric and gas bill, which many times I can't. I have gotten way disorganized. But they let me know if things are on the edge, and I always have the money.

This fear of lack is not even the same as reality. Reality is, we always have 'enough'. It might be beans and rice for a few days, which could just mean, we need the extra protein boost. I have asked others (family members) to help at times. That was my fear. The fear that "I can't take care of myself".

Is the Truth that the Universe, Mother Earth, God/Goddess, never said I had to "take care of myself"? Do they not tell me over and over that they are Source. There is enough. I don't steal. I don't plan schemes to destroy people's lifes (tom delay/bush/etal).

This is the difference is us and them. We have 'enough'. They never will. When I get afraid, I ascribe it to a physical issue. Like a panic attack. Truth is, I have food. I have shelter. I have more clothes than I need. If I want to get on the road and drive somewhere, I can. We have abundance . of what we Need. I cannot figure out how it works out every time. It just has and does. And I loathe the times that I get fearful. It just isn't rational.

Our blessings are met everyday. Are they not? If not, where are we looking?