Reply #166: I think I finally expressed the point I wanted to make months ago

[Nikia]

In post #98.
From my post in the Society Condones Rape thread:
From discussions that I have overheard and discussions that my husband has been present at, a fair amount of men do want to rape women. They might not use their word rape. They do discuss ways though to try to trick women into having sex with them, including getting them very drunk. Unfortunately, my husband hasn't spoken up in every discussion like that which he has been around. Some men are easier for him to stand up, but not men that he feels the need to hang out with again.
When I am around any groups of men, I try to access what category I fall into in relationship to them. There are some groups of men where I realize that I will be sexually harassed (or potentially worse) and none of the men will defend me. There are other groups of men who will not sexually harass me (or worse) and defend me against other men who do. Unfortunately, the group that does not harass me might not make them immune from harassing (or worse) other women. At my last workplace, this fact really bothered me, but I did not break my friendship with those guys there because they protected me from the other men. Despite an allegedly strict sexual harassment policy, I find myself in the same situation and am relying to protect me from fursther harassment on some young men who, while not outright harassing other women, use the same language as the harassers when they talk amongst themselves. I'd rather call them on their behavior, but what choice do I have in this system?
Maybe I have had bad experiences and am drawing conclusions but it seems that most men are alright with certain women (women who they see as lower status and/or not part of their group) being talked about merely as objects, sexually harassed, and even raped while being willing to defend certain (their women) women against this. By being alright with it, I mean not only directly participating but by supporting their friends who do or not challenging them. I don't think that American culture has evolved much past the societies that are acknowledged as repressive towards women.